AIBU to think my idea of Christmas Day isn’t miserable at all?

[Brandysauce]

DH and I have a three year old and, now they’re old enough to really set out “our” Christmas Day traditions, have been constantly disagreeing on the order of Christmas Day. I have extremely fond memories (as we all do) of the way I did it growing up and think it makes great sense on the day re. presents. This is my proposal:

Stocking from Father Christmas opened first thing in the morning, brought into parents’ room and ripped open in excitement. This will consist of at least one “really exciting” present that will entertain them all morning.

Later on, the family all convene for Christmas Dinner which can stretch on for a while, all the family are there including cousins.

After lunch, the whole family moves to the living room by the Christmas tree and then the main present opening begins, taking in turns.

My DH says this is a “miserable” way of doing Christmas and that we should let DC open all presents in the morning. AIBU to want to put my foot down on this?

Working class here and we sit down at the table for dinner when the Kings speech is on

Might not really hear it all, but Ill catch up with it at some point over the holiday period - its repeated enough

And another tradition I have is listening to R2 and Junior Choice whilst Im busy in the kitchen.

Afternoon present opener here. Have never watched Queens/Kings Speech (except for clips later shown on the news) and don't intend to either.

Have been pondering the "class" comments and I really don't think this is a class divide between morning/afternoon opening. My PIL were really quite posh and opened in the morning (though around 11.30). Afternoon opening is a throwback from my childhood and I think the main reason was that my parents were quite religious and we always went to church on Christmas morning (and we had dogs that needed walking before that). By the time we got back it was nearly time for Christmas dinner. So it might be a church/ no church divide and dogs might be relevant too!

I’m with your dh.
it seems very “structured”
when mine were three, people were lucky they got me dressed, never mind a perfectly planned and executed drama free Christmas 😂

This is how I was brought up too, and I like it a lot as it stretches out the excitement all day. Your toddler may not want to take turns with loads of adults yet though.

That’s exactly how we did it growing up as kids. None of this whole kids tearing open everything the moment they wake-up, before adults get there.

We had stockings in the morning and one main gift. Then the rest all together as our immediate family. (We rarely did big family Christmas’ with extended family due to the distances)

It teaches gratitude, patience and acknowledging who bought which gifts. A free for all just screams entitled kids in the making to me. My parents wanted to see our faces as we opened our gifts. They worked hard to afford what they bought us. They should get to enjoy the moment too, without needing a gallon of coffee because we’ve woken them up 😂

I’ll be doing the same with my DC when they’re older.

Just let them get on with it. When they're all open within ten minutes by 6am, tough.

To be honest, it sounds OK to me. It prevents the "I'm bored" after lunch once the initial excitement of the first lot of pressies has worn iff. Most 3 year olds have the lowest boredom threshold known to humankind!

Mine open them in the morning, before lunch, with gratitude, patience and acknowledging who bought which gifts.

Well, in the case of the kids, you continue to play with the awesome toys Santa and your family have got you for Christmas.

What else is expected?!?!

We have always done it this way too! The whole reason is that if they open all their presents in the morning, for them it’s over! Then a nightmare trying to get them to eat dinner as they want to play with their presents! Yes santa presents in the morning, blinis at 11am, lunch at 1, kings speech at 3 then presents !

we always have 2 goes at the presents as well. The children.get most of their presents in the morning stocking but adult presents and an odd extra one for the children go under the tree for opening after lunch . It prolongs the excitement of the day and was how my childhood Christmases were orchestrated and we have pretty much replicated that with our own kids .

I think there's also room for going with the flow - if there are a lot of presents for small children they may get overwhelmed and get more out of a pause in present opening to play with stuff they've already opened than out of lots of encouragement to keep opening things.

It's the children's Christmas too and they ought to get to help create your household traditions.

If you have visitors for dinner, the only real constraint on what happens is making sure everybody is fed at approximately the time(s) they're expecting. Everything else can flow around that. That might mean pauses in present opening so the adults can cook.

You open presents in the morning. Waiting all day is miserable

note - start telling your child they must wait for the sun to be up, must be day light or they risk disturbing Father Christmas and he’ll skip your house. Worked with my kids. They waited in anticipation for day light in their bedrooms. Then they gave to come wake us up. Cannot just go running downstairs.

After lunch the adults sleep and the children play with their toys. God help any adult who buys something that requires adult help/intervention/supervision 😀

”You open presents in the morning. Waiting all day is miserable”

As I have said several times, @tempname1234, it wasn’t miserable during my childhood, nor were our children miserable. It is what I was used to, from being very young indeed, and it is what our dses were used to, and we were all very happy.

So many posters saying it's "miserable". Why so judgemental?

Lots of cultures open presents on Christmas eve. Are families that wait till Christmas day "miserable". No it's just different traditions.

For what it's worth, I just checked with my 14 year old year old and she loves opening presents after lunch. She said "no way" to opening everything first thing.

Not sure if I would do it your way but we do encourage opening the presents throughout the day and not just all at once. With no immediate family nearby at Xmas we feel it’s important to really appreciate those who have taken the trouble to wrap and send something. So we make sure we know who’s it’s from, maybe take a pic etc. There’s no ‘rules’, if she wants to unwrap them in a frenzy she can but because we’ve always done this it seems pretty normal to us. Plus we’ve got nowhere to be on Xmas day so it helps stem the potential boredom!

We did a less dragged out version of yours: stockings presents first thing, opened in the bedroom in PJs. Then we showered, dressed, had breakfast, then we gathered around the tree for present giving to each other. After that, kids play, women cook, men drink. After dinner, men wash up, women drink, and kids go and watch Christmas movies, stuffed with chocolate. In the evening, we had music and dancing. A traditional Christmas but for a kid, it was heaven.

Maybe this timing would work as a compromise for you?

This is exactly how we did it when I was a child as my dad always worked Christmas morning. Still do it to this day. Makes the day space out nicely and stops mindless telly watching.

So do your children have to spend most of Christmas looking at their presents and not opening them? Seems miserable. Also why do they have to wait for their cousins and family to come. Wouldn't it just make their cousins jealous? Do they bring all of their presents to your house to open? Sort of defeats the whole Santa, Christmas tree and presents sort of thing. My 3 year old is talking non stop about Christmas presents under the tree on Christmas morning, all of her school friends are. She checks every morning if he's been. 😂

We do all their presents first thing on the morning, so they can play during the day with them then when family comes over later we do a secret Santa with them.

Sitting under the tree making a pig of yourself on selection boxes, etc followed by a good tantrum or two before dinner. All video taped of course for when the brats bring boyfriends/girlfriends home in 10 years or so.

Who on earth can wait til after lunch to open presents?? Poor kid

But your DH doesn’t want to continue ’your’ tradition?

So you have to come up with a compromise…

Say you gave them a bike or something - are you hiding that away or having it on display but forbidding riding on it until after lunch?!

I thinking waiting is miserable, but opening in the morning can be done in turn. I so much prefer this to ripping everything open in a mess.

By taking it turn i mean mean rounds - each gets a present to open, then each gets a second present etc. Not a free for all.