AIBU to think my idea of Christmas Day isn’t miserable at all?

[Brandysauce]

DH and I have a three year old and, now they’re old enough to really set out “our” Christmas Day traditions, have been constantly disagreeing on the order of Christmas Day. I have extremely fond memories (as we all do) of the way I did it growing up and think it makes great sense on the day re. presents. This is my proposal:

Stocking from Father Christmas opened first thing in the morning, brought into parents’ room and ripped open in excitement. This will consist of at least one “really exciting” present that will entertain them all morning.

Later on, the family all convene for Christmas Dinner which can stretch on for a while, all the family are there including cousins.

After lunch, the whole family moves to the living room by the Christmas tree and then the main present opening begins, taking in turns.

My DH says this is a “miserable” way of doing Christmas and that we should let DC open all presents in the morning. AIBU to want to put my foot down on this?

My MiL came from a family that did after lunch presents and she said it was horrible and wouldn't put a child through it.

Every one is different. Right from the start we always got up and dressed and had breakfast before the presents were opened. Both my DH and I were on the same page on this . It meant my son could take as long as he wanted opening the presents - he liked to play with each toy after it was opened before moving on to the next so it could literally take most of the day.
So I see nothing wrong with OPs suggested way of doing things. But it isn't really up to her to impose what she wants on the family. There should be discussion and compromise.

Well the Victorian's were well versed in showcasing their restraint as a moral virtue - I'm not sure I'd follow their model for Christmas.

But isn't everyone exhausted by the time you've finished eating? And they don't have time to play with the toys? Surely half the fun is spending the morning sticking stickers on olaymobile or building lego?

Our ASD son often didn't come to Xmas lunch and chose to spend the day making lego in his room. If we'd told him that he couldn't open his lego he would have gone nuclear.

AIBU to want to put my foot down on this?

So it's your way or no way then.

Ah another OP who only replies to posters who agree with them and ignores the majority who say they are BU

We do your way (although all Father Christmas presents are opened in the morning and then relative presents (and any from you) are opened after lunch. It gives them something to look forward to and elongates the excitement.

In my memory, no that wasn’t the case. As I mentioned, the morning presents would always have some of the “really fun” presents which they’d play with all morning.

We do presents from Father Christmas in the morning. Open presents from visiting relatives later on after the lunch. Works well.

Not a great idea to open Father Christmas presents if /when there are similarly aged cousins present I’d have thought? In case parental budgets don’t align and so on.

Either way it needs to be a discussion and joint decision.

We spread presents out throughout the day.
Stocking
Breakfast, dressed, some meal prep
A few presents including a new DVD
Watch DVD
Grandparent presents when they arrived
Lunch
Wash up
King's Speech
Walk
Remaining Presents

We do stocking and a big present in the morning - everything else after lunch.

Yanbu. We didn't open presents until about 12 once all family had arrived.

Stockings and xmas telly kept us amused until then.

Even now we don't do presents until after parkrun.

God don’t do this, how miserable. Open your own presents after dinner if you wish. Maybe keep a surprise one back for your kid. But let your kid enjoy Xmas morning and not spend the day looking at their presents unable to open them.

I think YABU because I've met three year olds before and here is what will happen: cousins will have already opened most of their presents at home, and adults won't get as many, so the official afternoon present opening will end up with your DC having the most and it getting boring (for everyone else). Relatives will have brought more presents for DC but there will be too many all at once so he will be less excited by each one. He may not bother playing with the ones brought by relatives, and they may be offended.

My partner wanted to do things your DH's way. Our 3yo child opened gifts then wept and rejected them due to overwhelm!

Child is aged 9 now, but from age 4 up has asked himself to open gifts gradually through the day.

Which could possibly be a compromise for your situation?

Especially if some gifts can be hidden right round the back of the tree.

I suggest a compromise.

Father Christmas presents first thing.

Get everyone up, dressed etc, then do tree presents. It's a bit of a break so you dont end up with an overstimulated toddler. Also nice to do this sans hordes.

Extended family presents after lunch.

My in-laws do this and I find it excruciating. I hate an audience watching the opening of gifts.

I've never done it this way so find it hard to get my head around, but understand people do things differently! For us it's stockings in bed then to downstairs and open the rest. We always had some family round for dinner so would get a couple of presents to open from aunties etc. later on.

I can imagine dinner being painful with the kids being over excited about presents, constant asking when we are eating/when it will be over/when they can open the gifts. I'd rather do all the presents in the morning than after dinner they can play.

We do it your way, but I still think you can find a compromise. I would hold the line that they don't open anything from family members until they get there to see it. It's depressing if you've put the effort into choosing, buying and wrapping something for someone to come round and see it at the bottom of a pile, none of which has been played with.

I don't really understand why opening over a whole day and lots of little excitements is less "fun" to people than going straight in, but each to their own.

We used to go to church in the morning and have our main presents in the afternoon. The service usually had the kids up to say what their favourite present was so waiting obviously wasn't the norm.

I reckon having stocking first thing, something in the morning and then more later is probably ideal.

We did presents your way, op.
It stretches the excitement out for longer!
When you open all the presents first thing, there's not as much to look forward to.

I think this is a good idea!

Were you even thinking of having the presents under the tree, so your kid could rush down excitedly, see Santa has been and you then burst their bubble and say you’re not allowed to open them??

ir were you going to pretend he’s not been?

both are awful. Poor kid,

After lunch is for watching a bad Christmass movie. The only delayed gratification we have is no parents up or present opening till 6am.

My kids would hate having to wait all day to open too.
Also, the whole thing of having to open in front of others is just horrible on every level. It's being on display. Nothing natural or spontaneous and exciting about that.
I know my one child would panic at the thought of that and would rather skip the whole thing. It's too much pressure.
Christmas should be fun, not there for display purposes and photo opportunities.