To feel utterly deflated that it’s ‘only 12k a year’ and to ask when is enough?

[Haddenouggh]

I left a very abusive man when my child was 1. I claimed maintenance and worked myself into the ground to try and recover. My child is now 3 and I’ve paid off 17k worth of debt and since March I’ve been saving 1k a month. I know the golden rule is not to share details about finances but I was proud I had dug myself out of a hole and now have a few thousand saved too. My brother who is usually very supportive turned round and said to me that I had a long way to go before financial security as 1k a month is ‘effectively only 12k a year.’ Well yes I know that but surely it’s a start? I had envisaged slowing down the saving soon to do more stuff with dd, maybe reducing saving to 500 a month. After his comment I just feel totally deflated. I have a mortgage still but most people do my age.

I don’t need anyone to be kind to me and say I’m doing well if I’m not, I genuinely would like perspective on this and whether I am deluded that I was making a good start. I can’t physically save more than 1k so in some ways I guess it’s pointless asking but I feel so bloody fed up and suppose I know deep down that 12k a year isn’t life changing but given how much I’ve been sacrificing it all feels very shit. I never thought I would be a single parent and this has made me feel more alone.

He goes in for expensive new boilers. DD had a new boiler and it was £1500. Insure the one you have, anyway.

@Haddenouggh join a credit union. Then if there are big emergency outgoings, you can get a loan. Research them. I've managed to save and cover emergencies etc better than I ever have with normal savings accounts.
Just keep doing what you can do and everything will work out. Brothers say the oddest things when they're being supportive.

I think you should swop your brother for mumsnet & just ask him about stuff he can fix for hou. His opinions aren't great are they.

You've done brilliant, lots of people can't save because everything is so expensive - you should reward yourself & DD every so often though.

Yes it's hard doing it all by yourself but you have your independence and your safety - so many women would love to swap places with you right now xx

That’s awesome OP you are doing so well! There are lots of great things to do that don’t cost too much and it sounds like you are being super sensible.
Like others, I would suggest making overpayments to reduce your mortgage.

Some people (me included, disabled/too sick to work) don't even have £1k/month to pay all their bills, including mortgage/rent, food, etc from, so being able to save £1k/month is, in my opinion, really good.

That is an amazing amount - be sure to save it wisely so that you can access some if needed but get interest (be sure to utilise isa allowance too). This is what security looks like for you and your child.
At the same time do make sure you spend time and money he witn your child, have fun, go on holidays and live your lives together - you deserve it having escaped an abusive relationship and got yourself into a good position. Your little one will grow up fast so don’t wait to build your relationship and memories together. Xx

Disagree. If possible one should build up a buffer to live on in case of eg redundancy or sickness, with extra for unavoidable one-offs like a replacement boiler, or car (if you need one for work).
Mortgage is cheap debt, so it's better to take advantage of it UNTIL there's a decent cash reserve, and avoid the risk of having to start using credit cards (expensive debt) for essentials if something goes wrong.

Just goes to show people chat all kinds of shit even on here.

That's an amazing amount to save. I wish I could save that

Your brother isn't looking out for you, he's being a snidey little fuckwit, there's just something with ball bearers that they have to put women down. .I would be absolutely buzzing to be able to save that much with a mortgage and a little one, you are doing fantastic.

12 k is a lot of money to me and I’d be thrilled with myself is I was saving that much.

£12k is my entire year’s salary and I’m sure as hell not saving everything I earn, so you are doing very well.

Your brother is an arse, don’t listen to him - if I can live on £12k a year then it’s a very good savings safety net to have behind you.

Why are people always obsessed with new boilers.
you won’t need one every month will you? 😂 Being able to put £1000 a month away is really good especially as a single parent. There’s a lot of people who don’t manage to save anything

Just to add, 1000 a month at 5% growth after 10 years will be worth 155k or 193k if you're lucky to get 8% growth. Compound growth is a game changer to your future.

I think it's your brother who deluded. I doubt even the average couple could save £1,000 a month, never mind a single parent who was in a lot of debt.

There's two of us. We earn a decent amount between us (although not into 6 figures). We would never be able to manage 1k a month in savings at the moment, because

He's right, a new boiler could wipe out a few k savings (as it's just done to us) but that's the point of savings, so you can do things you need and want to. Imagine if you didn't have them and you needed to repair a roof or a fence after a storm and your insurance found a reason not to pay out. Or your car just gave up one day.

Don't listen to him, don't tell him anymore, and just enjoy your achievements and your life now.

Your DB is an idiot, does he have this much money saved? Could this be the reason he's putting you down? BTW you're doing an amazing job, the average anyone has saved for emergencies is considerably less! Keep going you've got this and ignore DB 💐

Well done for getting back on your feet as quickly as you have. £1K a month is a lot & £12K a year is a really good amount of savings. Try not to let your Brother put a dampener on things for you. You're doing great.