To feel utterly deflated that it’s ‘only 12k a year’ and to ask when is enough?

[Haddenouggh]

I left a very abusive man when my child was 1. I claimed maintenance and worked myself into the ground to try and recover. My child is now 3 and I’ve paid off 17k worth of debt and since March I’ve been saving 1k a month. I know the golden rule is not to share details about finances but I was proud I had dug myself out of a hole and now have a few thousand saved too. My brother who is usually very supportive turned round and said to me that I had a long way to go before financial security as 1k a month is ‘effectively only 12k a year.’ Well yes I know that but surely it’s a start? I had envisaged slowing down the saving soon to do more stuff with dd, maybe reducing saving to 500 a month. After his comment I just feel totally deflated. I have a mortgage still but most people do my age.

I don’t need anyone to be kind to me and say I’m doing well if I’m not, I genuinely would like perspective on this and whether I am deluded that I was making a good start. I can’t physically save more than 1k so in some ways I guess it’s pointless asking but I feel so bloody fed up and suppose I know deep down that 12k a year isn’t life changing but given how much I’ve been sacrificing it all feels very shit. I never thought I would be a single parent and this has made me feel more alone.

That's amazing on one income!

These messages are so kind. I’ve been really lucky to be able to save and so have tried to take advantage of that while I am able to. I hear what people are saying about living a bit… I think the awful time with my ex has scared me a little, I never want to feel beholden to anyone again!

You go girl and have a mighty life... :)

You're doing brilliantly! I think very few people save that much each month. Many people don't get the opportunity to save anything at all.

When I first started saving, it was literally a tenner a month as that was all I could afford. I can afford more now but that is only after a few job changes etc!

Fair enough. You seem very thoughtful.

It really is.

Some people are too black and white- he should be seeing what a huge achievement it is and not commenting on it. You’re doing amazing op

I think this is a huge achievement! It might be wiped out by a boiler or a new car or some other calamity but without it you'd having to take on more debt in those situations.
Make sure you are on top of savings rates to make make the most of your savings.
Every person that has £££££ in savings started is £1000 at some point. It's most important £1000 you save. Its the start of financial resilience and it's the start of a new approach to finances. Once you have savings and a habit of saving it grows and with compound interest you can really start to see the differences in a year or two

Half of my house deposit was saved scrimping every penny over 4 years. The other half was saved £1000 a month for a year. I had the advantage of being in a relationship with someone that was saving the same. It can make a big difference to your finances. Be proud!

And in less than ten years will be well over £100k. Absolutely fabulous effort.

That amount monthly is very creditable. A new boiler would be around £4k so you would still be doing well. I hope it's in a high interest account.

Your brother is not being supportive and that is a very healthy level of saving - be proud of yourself. Maybe check out Money Saving Expert or see an independent Financial Advisor to make sure you are making the most of your savings.

Yeah but what would happen if you needed a new boiler and had no savings? You’re still far better off by putting the effort in.

Everyone has different attitudes to money - he could have just made a comment in passing, or thought it was disappointing in general that money doesn’t go as far these days, or maybe he’s just pessimistic, or even jealous! - but whatever he meant, you’ll still have 12 grand at the end of a year and that’s miles better than nothing.

Your money is personal to you so keep on doing what you’re doing! It’s a great achievement, but not necessarily one to share!

He's an idiot! Congratulations on the amazing achievement of paying off that debt and saving 12k. If he isn't, I'm proud of you.

Read this. https://www.raisin.co.uk/newsroom/better-saving-money/ you are doing amazingly. I wouldn't talk to him about money any more

You’re doing well, he’s projecting his insecurities on you.

Keep going, haters gonna hate!

I think it's amazing and gives you choices you wouldn't have otherwise. It's all relative but it's a huge amount for someone in debt or in poverty as many of us are. I don't know what your brother is trying to achieve but he should fuck right off with that.

I voted YABU to feel deflated. Some might say this is a stealth boast!

Anything saved after debts are paid is good. Whether it's £5 or £50. £1k a month is an excellent start. It will all add up over time. You may need to dip into at times for an emergency but that's what's it's for isn't it. It sounds like you're sensible and on the right track. Keep going.

Ignore your brother. It's also wise not to share personal finance info with people.

1k is amazing. Yes its 'only' 12k a year but its still 12k a year! Are you saving for something specific that will make the hard work worth it?

And 12k a year is 60k after 5 years. You should be really proud of yourself.

Haven’t RTFT I’m sure this has been mentioned but put that money into Martin Lewis’s mortgage early repayment calculator and see what it can do for you! We’re going to start overpaying £300 a month which saves us about £20000 in interest and 6 years on the mortgage over its lifetime. Even £500 a month if you could put that into your mortgage will be well worth it

You are doing so well and should be pleased and proud of yourself for your hard work and achievement. Ignore your mean spirited brother. He must be a jealous type who wants to bring you down. A boiler is nowhere near that amount - I got a new one a couple of months ago for around £3k and could have got cheaper from what I saw online but I was in a hurry.

You can put up to £20000 a year into an ISA and you don't have to pay tax on the interest earned. It can be a cash ISA on a variable or a fixed rate or a stocks and shares one which is less predictable but might grow more - or might not!

Compare rates of cash ISAs with non-ISA cash savings accounts and choose according to interest rates and your needs - you'll probably need some of your money in an instant access account - whether ISA or non-ISA - and some could go in a higher-paying fixed-term account, which might be for, say several months or a year or two, three etc. Look at money saving expert website for rates and information.

You could also think about paying a bit extra on the mortgage, either monthly, say £100 a month, or a small lump sum, say £500 twice a year after you've built up a comfortable savings cushion, unless of course you want to continue to save hard for something big like furniture or a car or for your daughter.

You've been down and got back up, you've taken control over your life - you don't owe anyone for turning this around and you don't need your brothers negativity as some people will suck the joy from your life.

Or 1k mth becomes 100k in 8.3 yrs. Ignore the humpty and keep saving. Just being in this position better than the majority of people.
If you want to be savvy look at your short medium and long term goals, recommendations on a good s&s isa would ghe way firward

Back when I was a wee young thing in my first job, my lovely Dad told me to build up a safety net of 3 months salary, and then always keep that to one side. In the event I needed to leave a job in a hurry, or got made redundant, I'd have that to fall back on. It's come in very handy twice in my life, and I'm gradually building savings again after the most recent.

£12k sounds like a very decent amount to me, and your brother is a dick. As others have said, if you can put something extra towards your mortgage - even £100 a month - you'll be reducing the term.

Talk to a financial planner, not your brother. Some people only make $1000 a month! You are doing really well.