AIBU to feel completely distressed by the viral video of the aftermath of onlyfans worker Lily P 'sleeping with' 100 men?

[MumOfOneAllAlone]

I've tried to word this carefully.

Lily, an onlyfans star, aged 20something I'm guessing, slept with 100 men in one go, as part of a documentary.

Following this, she's on camera crying. She says her eyes hurt as some of the men ejaculated in them, despite her saying no.

My heart is broken for this girl. Im a feminist but I've never thought of sex work as being empowering?

Surely, the empowerment of sex work has failed this poor girl? And surely the 100 men who agreed to do this are criminals???

I'm so angry. You could see in the video that Lily is realising what a mistake this was and is very traumatised.

Anyway, didn't see a thread on this so thought I'd post. My heart goes out to her, and my brain feels very angry at those who failed to protect her.

@MumOfOneAllAlone you seem to be conflating lots of different issues here, none of which apply to this particular situation

This is so, so sad.

She's so young. How much has she been through, for how many years, for her to reach the point where she's okay with a documentary being made about her sleeping with 100 men for money. Whatever world of missing morality she grew up in, she's been in it long enough that by this young, young age she's doing this.

She's pretty (in a slim/young/blonde way), the setting is nice, she's well enough spoken, articulate enough. Change this to a drug-addled body, in a seedy bedsit, not on OF but making money for her next few hits and to fill the gas meter - suddenly everything changes. She will have had a warped, neglected childhood of trauma to allow her body and self-respect and identity and pride to be abused like this. And the poor girl has also given away her anonymity. What does she have left 😔

If a boy was doing the same and came across as vulnerable as she did, I would be saying the same thing. There are plenty of boys trafficked as well, just more girls.

Couldn't care less. She's stupid and disgusting, it was her choice 🤷‍♀️

This story has just made me really depressed about the state of the world. How are things ever supposed to improve for women/girls, if this is what some aspire to, as a so called "career". I suppose that "proper ' jobs are not well paid enough, I pray that we have enough doctors, nurses, teachers etc. We certainly don't need more influences and only fans creators. I feel no sympathy for her, and whilst she may be able to decide for herself, as a consenting adult, what she wishes to do, what worries me are the wider implications for the safety of women and girls.

I honestly can't imagine the kind of future she will have. Sure, she may have money, she may not given those around her, but the damage done to her mind and social reputation 🥺🥺

I honestly don't get your point here. She's not in the second scenario, you invented that. Why?

How much money has she actually made from this? I don't even know if I want to know...

It's a sad video, it's all so disorganised, they were initially not going to have security, she seemed genuinely surprised and confused when asked about the risk of HIV. She seemed clueless and hinted at trauma, talking about initially not wanting to have sex before marriage before realising sex isn't special and she might as well make money out of the men who will sexualise her regardless.

The room was disgusting, how the men could walk over those 100+ condoms and tissues on the floor and still go ahead. One of the men interviewed looked like he was having a panic attack and unsurprisingly no one wanted to admit and be on camera. I don't actually think she got to 100 - lots cancelled and some were repeat visitors.

Or, maybe she'll run for political office:
https://en.axar.az/news/society/180458.html

No. That's another one. But I believe they are in contact

Hear hear. We've never had this readily available before in humanity's existence. It's all been a huge experiment

The second scenario is a woman doing the same thing (hypothetically) as an act of desperation: dependency/addiction, poverty and all the things that result from that. Those things don't just appear one day, out of the blue, aged 23. They're the result of many chronic/long-term factors.

My point is this girl's acts are the same as those of a woman who would be (is - let's face it, in reality this happens all the time if not necessarily 100 in a day, but the same act of self-disrespect and disregard) desperate. The soft lighting and publicity and easy-on-the-eye nature of it all belies the fact that the woman in question is desperate. So to all those saying she made this choice of her own free will: no, I don't think she did. She's 23. 23! To have got to this point by 23 will have meant years of whatever went before. You don't wake up like this one day.

This is so, so horrible. What is this world? I blame all lot of it on America. We do have the same problems here but America has the weird dichotomy of purity culture on one hand, & a huge porn industry & sex work industry on the other, plus Hollywood. All to a greater or lesser extent objectify women.
I read an article about Annabel Chong recently, a Harvard (I think) student who did something similar back in 2000s. She had been gang raped previously &, though she denied this, it may have been a way of taking back control. Similarly, the men ignored one of her important requests, to do w STDs I think..
She is now an IT professional & hopefully is happy. Hopefully Lily P will find something better soon.

Extreme promiscuity like this is nearly always a trauma response to historic CSA.

I question how voluntary an act like hers is when it's done in the context of a porn-saturated patriarchy that rewards hypersexualised women with money and fame.

Lily set conditions around her consent. Those conditions were ignored, which makes it rape. She was raped on camera for money and none of the men who participated or were involved in the filming gave a single shit.

As a younger woman I had a friend who was an ex sex worker, the stories I’ve listened too would give you nightmares. Men doing whatever they wanted because money changed hands. Sex work is not empowering or a job that I would want any female to aspire to. I saw the small piece you mention OP we could see this young woman broken by this. What is horrifying to me is that the same young woman wants to do this again but 1000 men next time. This could potentially kill her, I’m not even sure the young woman fully understood how you catch HIV from another clip I saw. This should be stopped and not allowed to go ahead. Some of the men did acts that was already explained that were not acceptable, but they did this anyway 😡😡 I believe her own mother and father are involved with her only fans business. Her own father’s friends want to take part oh my goodness this young woman is so damaged but no one is stopping her.

1. She made a stupid decision and took a stupid risk.
2. Sometimes we all do stupid things that we regret. The fact that sex is involved doesn't make it somehow worse than any other stupid thing that we might regret.
3. Of course nobody should have done anything that she didn't consent to. That would apply whether she was engaged in sex work or not, however.
4. The fact that she did something she regretted and/or was harmed while engaging in sex work does not have any bearing on whether sex work should be legal or not, and neither does it have any bearing on whether other adults should be allowed to make their own choices on what they do with their bodies.

If someone dies working in a factory because of poor safety precautions, nobody calls for all factories to shut down and their employees told to find other work.

Similarly, if a woman has a consensual one-night stand or a threesome or some other sexual encounter that she bitterly regrets and cries after participating in, we don't use that as a reason to dictate to other adults in general what forms of sex they should legally be able to participate. Sure, some people have sex for money and regret it and feel violated. Some people have sex for love and regret it and feel violated, too.

Do I think whatever this OnlyFans performer did was grim? Absolutely, yes. But I don't think removing adults' rights to make decisions about what they do with their own bodies, and for what reason, is remotely acceptable. Women are not children. If they want to have sex for money, they should absolutely be able to do that legally just as they should absolutely be able to have an abortion or cosmetic surgery or body modifications or tattoos or anything else.

Wtf? What an evil couple. & the dad's friends? They should all burn... (don't worry MNHQ, I don't mean literally)

So the woman in the made up scenario did it without a free choice, due to addiction.

The real life person we're talking about is not an addict and chose to do it.

I'm still not understanding your point.

ItGhoul, hmm..I do agree w most of that. However, should consensual sex really leave you feeling violated? Regretful, maybe, but isn't that a bit strong? I suppose it could.

https://x.com/makaballa/status/1866366070996734344?t=ZnWRRm_3N1lltpqIpbzLhg&s=19

Okay so I sped through the YouTube video. Was her saying she wanted to sleep with 1000 men said before she slept with the 100?

My mind hasn't changed and I wish I didn't click on the YouTube video as I feel so shit now!

I feel more strongly that this girl needs people that love her enough to fight for her.

I feel like we see stories online about boys who are stopped from going down a bad path by men who fight for them non stop to protect them. Nobody questions whether these boys (often criminals who have hurt people) are better off for receiving the help.

She needs help. My heart breaks for her, honestly, just feel so sad

No.. that's her next goal apparently

To have sex with 100 men I would think that person has mh issues and has to be protected from themselves.

I also question the 100 number

The pa (disgusting woman who sounded ridiculously chirpy and should be ashamed of herself) was saying that boys brought their friends and came back for seconds! Was that agreed to prior? Could've been more or less than 100

When she breaks down in tears after talking about what she's eaten, I was almost in tears myself

I can't find where she says this