DD came home from dance class upset

[Username561]

My daughter is 7 years old and has been going to dance class for 2 years. She has classes on Saturday mornings and Wednesday evenings. On Saturday, DH went to pick her up and when he got home he told me that she came out of the class with tears in her eyes but wouldn't tell him what was wrong. He dropped it and she was silent in the car on the way home. I spoke to her about it and I managed to get it out of her that her dance teacher upset her.

Basically this is what happened.. her teacher had tasked them with making up their own routine to a piece of music. They all went off by themselves to different parts of the room while they worked on their routine. One of the dance assistants came up to DD and asked how she was getting on DD said "well she said to.." and didn't get any further because the dance teacher overheard her and shouted WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME? The room apparently went silent and all of her classmates turned to look at her. DD didn't know what she had done wrong but felt too scared to say anything so again, the teacher said "what did you just call me then?" and DD spoke up and said she didn't call her anything. The teacher said "you just called me she, how very rude, I think you need teaching some manners" and then basically ignored her the rest of the lesson.

DD explained to me that she didn't know this was rude, and did apologise to the teacher but she felt upset because she was embarrassed and doesn't like being told off.

Immediately I felt angry that someone else had spoken to my child like this and made her cry. I also think that the way it was handled, telling her off in front of her classmates and being cold with her the rest of the lesson was mean. I decided I would speak to the teacher on Wednesday but DD is begging me not to. Do I just leave this? Is this how it is in classrooms and dance lessons? Is it normal? I do understand that saying "she" instead of someone's name can be seen as rude and I have explained why this is to her, but DD is 7 and didn't understand at the time and was made to feel humiliated.

Please could you advise, would you just let this go?

Frankly the likelihood of making a reasonable living or excelling in dance is miniscule. Most kids do dance for fun as a pleasant hobby and for fitness. I’m afraid as a child I encountered bullying like this by fairly inadequate adults who enjoyed the power afforded by being a teacher.

Even if you genuinely aspire for such a career for your daughter, then it’s worth having a gentle chat with teacher to explain that your child has been brought up to be polite to adults, but that this is one rule of etiquette she hasn’t been taught. Therefore can you have ( the teacher’s) assurance that if she feels there is rudeness or ill behaviour in the future that she addresses it first with you.

If you don’t get what you’re looking for or don’t like her attitude, leave.

This is interesting.
How do you quickly get rid of PITA parents and kids?

What do you do??