Friend locking in plans a week in advance

[Poooooooooooof67]

My friend is constantly locking in plans a week in advance. We agreed to meet last Friday. A whole WEEK before that, she is tying to agree timings, place etc. Our eves are always a casual "let's do something on x day". Not a special event. Neither of us need to arrange sitters for DC or have DH or need to plan around any work timings.

I just find it so odd that for a casual night she needs to have such detailed plans, so far in advance. It feels like wants to lock me into defined plans. I'll think about Friday night, on Thursday night. Not a week beforehand.

AIBU ?

This is normal to me??

Maybe she has a busy calendar?

I don’t think a week in advance is crazy at all but that’s just me. 🤷🏽‍♀️

I see nothing wrong with this.

Are you really flakey and she wants to confirm plans to avoid you messing her about? Be honest!

Perfectly ordinary.
You sound flaky.

I book friends a month in advance! Everyone is too busy for anything less!

She's normal, I couldn't be winging it every time. Don't you need to book certain things? Restaurants? Or whatever?

I mean I kinda want to know if it's a day thing or evening thing as might want to make other plans. Is it so hard to just say let's meet at xx at 7pm

@MaryBeardsShoes I've never cancelled on her or not turned up.

Normal for me. I had an ex boyfriend who was very last minute and who I ended up shlepping around town with trying to find a restaurant that did walk-ins. Irritated the hell out of me.

Seem totally reasonable to me.

This is completely normal to me.

She's the normal one.

A week in advance would be normal, I'd definitely want to know timings etc!

I don't see much issue in having relatively firm plans, maybe she wants to plan outfit or review menus and book table or whatever. Or maybe she's the anxious type and it helps.

Does she insist on sticking rigidly to plans? It'd be a pain if you were enjoying a bar and she insisted on moving on because that was the plan.

This is really normal for me, I like to know what I'm doing in advance. I'm not a very spur of the moment person and last minute plans would stress me out a little bit.

Fair enough, just something you said made me wonder!

I would rather have detailed plans tbh. I like to know what I’m about, what clothes I need to wear/clean, what food I need to get in etc. etc.

In our town you can usually always get a table. No need to book so far in advance.

I just find it baffling. It will always be an eve thing as we both work in the day. I won't give it any thought until the day before

Yep pretty normal

Definitely normal. People need to know what time they're meeting and where they're going.
I wouldn't have to know a week in advance for everything but definitely a couple of days.
Sometimes I know months in advance.

What do you mean by ‘locking in’? Agreeing a venue or a time? She’s not unreasonable. She just wants to be able to plan what she can do with her other time. If I know I’m going for a meal a few days ahead, I don’t buy food in for that night, for example.

Yep, I have various friendship groups and that would be normal in all of them.

So if you plan to meet x time you meet at x time or are you always late and call it being flexible?

That's probably why friend is doing it. Edit to say I've seen update. A week is completely fine, though. I like to know what I'm doing.

This was my first thought too. I find vague plans are more likely to fall through or get cancelled at the last minute. Whereas, if you've arranged and time and place, people tend to stick to it.

OP you say you've never cancelled on her but maybe other people have. In any case I think it's totally normal to sort details in advance.