Colleague has complained about me using wrong pronouns

[CandyCane103]

Name changed but have been on mn for a fair while now.

I work in a role which requires me to do casework supporting vulnerable people. I am supporting a member of staff with some cases that fall under my specialism. We've always got along well and I've really enjoyed working with her. I've been here a number of years, she is 6 months in. One of her cases is a non binary person, and she emails me occasionally for advice as it is a long and complex case (has been ongoing for months now since before she joined the team). I usually get it right but have occasionally written 'she' by accident. They have a female name and I am not intentionally using 'she', it just naturally happens. Instead of speaking to me about it, she has made a complaint to my line manager, who has had a word. Line manager was fine about it and it wasn't a telling off. More of a passing on a message.

Now feels very awkward and think my line managers advice to her was that she should speak to me in the first instance. I really want to raise with my colleague that she should have spoken to me instead of running straight to my line manager. Not sure how to handle this as I've never had a complaint from a member of staff and it has ruffled my feathers.

Would you just leave it be?

Nothing surprises me these days 🫠

So you have no answer because I called it as it is.

Thanks for admitting that.

None of anything you've said on here is remotely true, and when pushed, you cannot defend any of it.

I haven't admitted anything. I'm telling you you're wrong.

Can't handle being wrong? Not surprising, you sound very uneducated in your rantings.

💯

No, I'm pointing out that just because something exists somewhere else and not here that doesn't mean it's not real. Obviously.

In what sense is she wrong?

Because you are clearly in the minority here thinking that 🫠

I think I'm more informed on whether her assumptions about me are right or wrong considering none of you know me, don't you?

So crocodiles exist, therefore non binary is legit?

Is that the argument? 😵‍💫

What assumptions?

Obviously not, you're missing the point, either deliberately and trying to make a point or because you can't understand an equivalence.

I honestly can't tell which.

But crocodiles are objectively real. Even if you've never seen one in the wild you've most likely seen one in a zoo. We all know what a crocodile is.

Nobody can explain what the fuckity fuck a gender identity is or why we should care about anyone else's.

You're the one who refuses to answer questions and resorts to attacks instead of addressing points. You're the one who sounds very deeply uneducated in your rantings.

All of them, from me being to cold to not being a scientist and all the other inane ramblings inbetween.

😂

We truly are living in clown world.

So Santa is real, too then. And the tooth fairy? Both are as scientifically real as 'nonbinary'. In fact, there is more evidence for a Saint Nicholas/Father Christmas/Santa - historical evidence, than there ever is of 'nonbinary'.

Ok I'll help you.

We know crocodiles exist because there is empirical and objective evidence that this is the case.

As 'non binary' seems to exist only in peoples heads, this cannot be the case.

Well I asked you for a scientific definition of gender and I got nada.

Do you want to address that now?

Are you seriously trying to claim you aren't attacking me?

None of what you said about me is true and is all about my personality and profession, none of it was about the matter at hand.

You certainly aren't claiming any moral high ground here and you're clearly angry that people don't agree with you.

Can you define gender for us please?

You admitted you 'don't know and don't care' why women need single sex services. That, is cold.

You embrace and embody everything that goes against the very ethos of science and reality.

Your posts speak for themselves.

Ok I'll help you. There are several cultures with three genders. One of them being native American tribes. The third gender being called two spirit. It's actually really interesting if you read about it.

So more than two genders exist in other places. Fact. Verifiable. It's all written down and part of their history and people are still living as two spirits today. So unless you want to completely deny other cultures existence, non binary genders are as real as crocodiles in other places.

Just because the west traditionally recognises only two genders, doesn't mean that's it.

This only makes sense to people who understand that gender and sex are not the same thing, which is something the angriest people here clearly can't grasp.

I am attacking your points - or lack thereof. None of anything you've said is true. From what you claimed of yourself to statements about gender. Not one of them.

There are two sexes, that's a scientific fact. Female. Male. She/Her. He/Him.

Gender is a social construct and someone's emotional well-being suffering decline due to being called 'her' (which is correct based on their sex) instead of 'them' would indicate they're seriously mentally unwell. Not from the 'misgendering', but generally.

Instead of focusing on bullshit, the person would be better off focusing their energies on seeking appropriate mental health support because not only are they harming themselves, they're expecting others to buy into their delusional state.

But there are no cultures with three sexes.

Gender identities aren't like crocodiles. Gender identities are like deities.

Crocodiles are objectively real whether you believe in them or not. Gender identities and deities are only subjectively real to the people who choose to believe in them, and of zero consequence to anyone else.

"Non binary gender" would only make any sense if everyone in the world who didn't identify as non binary identified as one of two other genders. But that's not the case.

So what is it that "non binary people" believe they are not (but everyone else is)?