How do I become 'hot'?

[DonaldGumbo]

After years of giving 0 thought my appearance, it's finally getting me down a bit.
I'm struggling with bad skin, bad teeth, sagginess, mental hair, terrible clothes and no real motivation.
I also have no money.
Help a girl out.

As suggested start doing some exercise and drink water.

For your hair, do you have any hair/skin oil, or even a tiny bit of oil from the kitchen could help. What I do is put a couple of drops of skincare oil on my hand, apply that to my face and then run my hands with the rest over my hair after a shower. My hair is long so I plait it while it’s wet and leave it to dry.

Also, I use sugar as an exfoliant because I can’t afford to buy exfoliant. I add that to a face wash.

Check out model hair nights at local hair salons or teacher training salons/colleges for a decent cut or colour at much reduced rates.
Try azelaic acid (under £10 Inkey) for rosacea.
Up your water intake loads.
Try to fit in at least 30 mins of walk per day.
Free exercise videos all over YouTube.

Revolution in Boots and Superdrug do good quality but cheap make up. There are lots of cheapish whitening toothpastes out there.

Picture is needed to know what you are working with and i bet you can be hot!!

You need confidence. There is no cream, no potions, clothes etc that will give you that.

For me, the only superficial thing that i can control, that makes me feel hot is my hair. And even that changes from day to day. Thought my hair naturally super curly hair looked great when straightened when i left home at 7am, hot train, hot office, 9am i looked awful, but only to me, doubt anyone else could see the fluffy bit, but i was obsessed.

Im 50 next year and still struggle with my looks some days and confidence.

BUT....there are some days when everything just hits right, clothes, hair, and HORMONES and i feel great, have a little swish in my step while listening to my 1970s dance /pop music.

Sorry OP ive gone totally off topic, my point is. its hard to feel hot. But it starts at home, find the top, jeans, coat that feels good, the hairstyle and it really doesnt need to be fashionable.

Im probs rambling now, but leopard print shoes make me feel hot, i dont care what anyone thinks , my red mary janes. Find just one thing that makes you feel hot, whether its visible or not, stockings and over knee socks have worked for me!

Wait for menopause. You'll be hotter than hell.

My hair is wild with curls, embrace it! Follow some ‘curly girl method’ groups on Facebook/instagram for tips on products/styling/drying. It’s VERY unlikely a standard hairdresser will be up to date with products/diffusing unless they have curly hair themselves. Charlotte richmonds wavy hair method has pages full of high street inexpensive brands to help tame your locks. A appointment with a curly hairdresser can be up to £70 for a trim where I live so self education is the key!

40 is not young.
I'm not being hard on myself. I am just a very ugly looking woman on the outside. I'm a nice person on the inside but my face certainly does not reflect that.

Get slim and a good haircut.
Be totally honest with yourself when you choose clothes. Nothing frumpy or misshapen.

Think about what shoes you wear. I see a lot of mums from the school looking great in good boots, clean & cool trainers, nice brogues or similar. And then other mums who's shoe choice really brings down their overall look. I'm sure they don't care and neither do I, but it makes a difference.

I've honestly never looked at someone's knees to consider whether they are attractive or not...they're just knees.

I turned 40 this year and still feel good, I don't feel like I'm past it yet.

Also, I've been going grey since my early 20's, you're lucky to only be getting it now. I dye my hair as it makes me feel better.

@Autumnal589

My husband is 40. He fences, Horse rides, walks. He's also had a major injury to his hip and leg and walks with a cane. He's not old, he could act like he is though. If you tell yourself something often enough, you believe it.

Diet and exercise will make the most difference to your look.

If there are facial features you're worried about then a change of hairstyle or haircut can make the most difference. If your hair is long enough to cut well just using scissors then the cheapest solution is a good pair of scissors and asking your friend to cut it for you.

If you have clothes that don't fit you then now is the time to phase some of those out.

Are they any specific things you don't like? There might be easy fixes with some good styles of clothes to flatter your best features.

I'm 39 for me weight resistance training in the gym, gave me the best body I've ever had, it's taken almost a year but the results have been worth it, I joined when it was cheap and pushed myself when I couldn't be bothered, but it changed the way I ate and slept and wellbeing, I'd definitely start there , everything else falls into place.

Walk every evening.

Speak to the Dr about the rosacea as there's two types. I can't remember the types but my mum has the type you might need medication for, and my type is managed really easily with azelaic acid. I had strong prescription stuff but now I use The Ordinary azelaic acid and it really helps. Avoid harsh stuff on your face as it will irritate it. I use cerave cleanser and ordinary azelaic acid.

I've also just started a few days ago trying to wear more makeup too and I got green colour corrector for my rosy cheeks and then top it with tinted moisturiser and I've been quite shocked how easy it was to cover it up all these years 😂 loads of YouTube tutorials I found helpful

For your hair if you have curly hair it'll go frizzy if you do things like brush when it's dry, don't use conditioner, etc. Check out the curly girl method! Doesn't have to be fancy expensive products. Just get an affordable silicone and sulfate free shampoo and conditioner and work out whether your hair likes mousse or gel or cream best for styling.

Just start off small with a wee change here and there and work your way up to a routine you can manage. I can't be bothered with the lengthy curly girl method processes some women do tutorials for so I do a modified version which looks nice enough 😆

See your GP about the rosacea. It's treatable.

Get your hair cut by a hairdresser who advertises that they cut curly hair. Ask them what to do for products and maintenance at home.

There are masses of curly hair Youtubers and Tiktokkers out there, find one with similar hair to you and take their advice. The days when curls = frizz are long gone.

Doing those 2 things will probably improve your confidence no end. And then you will be hot as hotness is largely a state of mind.

Get a decent pair of hair straighteners. I didn’t realise until recently just what a difference they can make. Also hair dye, even if you’re not greying yet, find a warm colour and do it yourself. A little bit of good mascara goes a long way, you don’t need tonnes of makeup. Clothes that aren’t out of shape, worn thin or drowning your figure will make you feel better. They don’t have to be expensive. Most importantly is looking healthy and the best way to achieve that is eating a healthy diet, drinking lots of water and getting plenty of sleep. It really does make a huge difference.

Do you want to look hot or pretty/beautiful? Hot is easier to achieve. It's confidence, posture facial expression, gait and style.

Jesus Christ. If this question is serious - you can't become 'hot'.
You can become healthier and slimmer, sure. Isn't going to make you 'hot'.

This

For exercise if you are in an office try going up and down stairs every hour.
For yourself; get a good bra, it's an investment, perhaps a specialist to measure you.
If you can organise a walk outside in early daylight it is beneficial. The light is whiter.

Being hot is like being cool, the people that are are the people that believe they are

Everyone knows that people who think they're cool are not cool

Frizz ease by John Freida is great for curly frizzy hair
Multivitamin…helps skin. Also, pile on the fruits and veggies and drink water. Take Vitamin D in winter.
Limit eating out and cook healthily for yourself
Wear sunscreen. Boots no. 7 does a tinted moisturiser with it that is inexpensive and very good
Like many posters said…exercise. Walk 45 minutes to an hour every day. Some Pilates, or yoga, or strength training gives you flexibility in your joints and improves posture.Again, free videos on You Tube. Yoga with Arlene is good.
There are good YouTube videos on how to give yourself a manicure.
Go to a great stylist who can figure out what looks good on you, and then take pictures of the cut on your phone. Armed with this, go to a cheaper stylist and say…do this cut.
get enough sleep if you can. It reduces inflammation and see your GP about the rosacea. See if you are in peri menopause.
Try Michael Moseley’s Just one Thing on the BBC website. Loads of hacks for improving health.
I also watch a funny comedy video every day to give myself a good belly laugh. I think laughing is great for health. Your kids can join in and laugh…children’s laughter is especially great for health.

Good luck!

You need to speak to gp regarding your skin, but you could try skin+me to see if you like that too. I think they only charge £5 for your first order then £30 each month after that, which I appreciate is expensive per month but can cancel anytime

I have frizzy curly hair too and me blow drying my own hair doesn’t last long for me. I’ve had two Brazilian blow drys now and helps massively. They are expensive though. Have you got a decent pair of straighteners? Treseme £30 ones have never let me down and better than ghd (for my hair imo). Also get a good serum I feel it makes such a difference.

what clothes do you usually tend to buy? Start buying the basics when you can and build your wardrobe from there

Soolantra (ivermectin) got rid of my rosecea overnight, wonder stuff. You can get from online pharmacies, a tube lasts forever.
Try curly girl method for your hair with some practice curly hair can go from frizz to lovely ringlets. Or if that doesnt work, a bayliss big brush is as close to a home blowdry as Ive ever got (and theyre not very ££).
Loads of exercise you can do at home now, plenty of recomendation here for youtube videos, that will make you feel better as well as look better.

I think it's the time thing. Being time poor and poor poor lol. I saw a beautiful woman in the pool today but it's just so much effort isn't it. She had dyed hair, well cut, toned, tanned body, good nails, well fitting swimming costume, and I can't even think to imagine how I would achieve that. I have no spare time, like none at all. Even when I'm shaving my legs I have multiple interruptions or feel like it's ten minutes I could be spending working/ doing house work/ reading with my children/ studying. Same with money, if I spent £40 on a hair cut I would feel guilty. All my clothes are charity shop snd have to be practical for my job and easy to wash and wear. Not revealing as I have to be modest in my appearance. I dress almost like a man, or maybe a student. Converse, jeans, flannel shirt, band T-shirt. Every day.

The things that make a big difference for me are exercising and eating whole foods. As those things are proven to improve your physical health, mental health and appearance it’s good value.