How do I become 'hot'?

[DonaldGumbo]

After years of giving 0 thought my appearance, it's finally getting me down a bit.
I'm struggling with bad skin, bad teeth, sagginess, mental hair, terrible clothes and no real motivation.
I also have no money.
Help a girl out.

What do you mean by bad skin, bad teeth and mental hair? What bothers you about them?

First step would be doing some nice exercise each day - like a 45 min walk.

It does absolutely amazing things for my mental health

Can you concentrate on one thing at a time? For skin care I really rate the Inky range (I get it from Boots), they are cheap and often have special offers on and good skincare routine helps me to feel much better about myself.

How is your skin bad? What is the issue?

Mental hair? In what way?

As for clothes..vinted is amazing for updating your wardrobe on a budget.

I’m in a similar place OP. I’m 11 weeks postpartum and have a toddler. I look and feel like shit.

Starting by getting my haircut for the first time in a year on Saturday because it’s out of control.

Second the exercise suggestion, it’s such a confidence booster.
Can you make a list of what you’re unhappy with & a corresponding list of solutions -
dental checkup, do your own facial, hair treatment, vitamin supplement, magazine for fashion ideas / high street version of outfit etc?
Make a little plan, the daily exercise will start to help with your motivation.
How old are you?
What about your nutrition, drinking water, cutting alcohol or smoking if you do? 💐

Well even if you get good skin & hair you might not be hot, maybe focus on health & looking your best?

I have rosacea and very curly, frizzy hair. Colour is naturally like an oil slick, dark black.

I have no money either

I use tretinoin and almond oil on my skin
Do my own nails
Layer and trim my own hair with hair scissors
Bit of eyeliner, concealer, mascara and light lipstick if I'm wearing makeup
Wash and straighten my hair twice a week, do highlights myself with bleach and toner
Perfume and lotion after showering every day, just to feel nice

Don't smoke. Two glasses of wine a week.

@hazelnutvanillalatte those are great suggestions

Start with the basics and cheap.

Drink more water
Get more sleep
Do 30 mins of exercise a day even if a walk around the block
Throw out any stained, holey, seen better days clothes.

Then
Teeth whitening toothpaste
Good hair cut to tidy it and make it manageable
Invest in a well fitted bra, new underwear
Skincare - start simple and cheap Olay beauty fluid, hand cream, foot cream body lotion, Flexitol for cracked heels
Up the exercise to couch to 5k
Update your wardrobe in the Christmas sales / use a personal shopper at JL or similar to get ideas

More expensive options
Once in a routine experiment with more technical and expensive skin care products when you have more money
Join a gym
Get teeth fixed / professionally cleaned and straightened if you want

Start with your hair. If you get a good cut or colour its an immediate change and will give your self esteem a boost. When you say mental hair, how is it mental? Frizzy, lank, bad condition?
We need more deets. What the skin concern?

I'm mid thirties. Two children. Busy with work and two kid free hours per week. If that helps. Size 16. Hate running.

Hair will make a huge difference. A good cut, some appropriate products and get the hairdresser to show you how you can dry and style it yourself.

If it's pustular roseacea (like spots) you can get an anti inflammatory antibiotic from the gp. If it's 'just' redness find the right makeup. Laura Geller powder foundations are very user friendly.

My roseacea finally went away when I addressed the causes of inflammation in my body - stress, lack of sleep, grain intolerance.

Clothes that fit properly in colours that compliment don't need to be expensive but take a lot of trial and error. Keep everything well cared for, clean shoes/trainers, etc.

'Hot' is an odd objective tbh. Are you wanting to look sexy/desirable? In who's eyes? Faur enough if that's your aim but you'd need more info on what they think is hot.

Ok, so from a male perspective, the answer is "Think you're hot"

Of all the women I've been in relationships with, the hottest ones were not the ones who were the thinnest, or the most conventionally attractive, they were the ones who believed they were most attractive. The ones who had the confidence to wear "that". The ones who didn't care about the stretch marks or the cellulite, the ones who were happy to keep the lights on.

Being hot is like being cool, the people that are are the people that believe they are.

If your local college has a hair and beauty course see if they have some treatment options. Many colleges give hair cuts/treatments at a huge discount if you are willing to be a model for someone to train on (they will be supervised obviously).

Get fitted in a proper bra shop - can make all the difference to your posture and silhouette and confidence.

Look in charity shops, vinted, eBay, marketplace for some new clothes that make you feel good.

The curl range from Aussie is an absolute steal for frizzy, curly hair. I find it better than the high-end brands I’ve tried.

Using the shampoo, conditioner and curl cream regularly makes a huge difference.

I would go to the Doctors about rosacea, they can prescribe medication and cream. It is the only thing that worked for me.

Also to add, swapping wine for water may help improve your rosacea.

I'm almost 40 now and so not going to become hot by that fact alone. Everything is going downhill. Massive bloated stomach, horrible knees which are all dented, starting to go grey, very thin lips and massive pointy nose.
No amount of make up or walking will fix this.

@DonaldGumbo

Have you spoken to your GP about the rosacea? He/she might be able to help.

You’re not even 40

Honestly too young to write yourself off!

I'd visit a GP about skin issues, and also have your hormones checked.

Hair, I'd go and visit a proper hair stylist. Even if you have to save up for it - choose someone who will look at your hair and do what you actually need. They're worth their weight in gold, and even as a poor student this is what I used to do. Save save save.

For the body; exercise and diet, I'm afraid. You can't outrun a bad diet, but exercise does help when you're eating well, and it'll help you mentally.

Clothes; charity shops. I love them. I'd rather have a whole wardrobe filled with charity shop and Vinted than designer stuff. Find your style! Go back to what you actually liked when you were younger, then update it to suit you now.

That isn't true at all! My sister is in her 40s and in the best shape of her life. I know loads of 40+ women who look incredible, and I mean incredible. Weight lifting and yoga helps.

I've been grey for years, I'm only 34 and I love it!