Londoners not giving up seats on tube for pregnant women

[ParkAndRider]

I am 32 weeks pregnant with an obvious large bump and wear a baby on board badge. I commute at rush hour and usually every time I get on board the tube there are no seats available. I see the people sitting glance at me and then look pretend and pretend they haven't noticed. I've just endured another journey standing the whole way feeling tired and dizzy because no one will offer a seat. Yes I could ask but it would feel uncomfortable why can't anyone offer? Surely all the people sitting can't be hiding various disabilities?

You do need to ask! Loudly.

DD has a hidden disability. She wears a 'Please offer me a seat badge' from TfL. She also wears a sunflower lanyard.
She always has to ask. She is then usually ignored, sometimes told to fuck off. Very rarely given a seat.
I assume people don't believe a fit and healthy looking 20yo could possibly be more deserving of a seat than them.

I did write a long and detailed response about declining standards. Then I deleted it.

I'm simply say bastards.

I spent my pregnancy commuting on the Piccadilly line and only had to ask a few times that I can remember, but I had no problem asking. If I'm the one that wants or needs something, then I shouldn't have an issue asking for it. People exercise that kind of automatic self-shutting off thing on the tube in rush hour, otherwise you'd be overwhelmed at the crush.

I'm so disappointed to hear this. I'm also 32 weeks pregnant in London and have literally not had a problem once - but I do make it clear when I'm getting on that I need a seat but every time someone has offered before I need to ask. I think the above poster is right though - you have to ask. I certainly wouldn't stand and let myself feel dizzy, so as uncomfortable as it is, I reckon you'll do it once and find it so useful it becomes second nature.

I spend my commute buried in a book or my phone to make it more bearable. But if anyone asked me for a seat, for whatever reason, I wouldn't hesiate to stand up. Just ask.

Not all Londoners (I always give up my seat if I see a badge!) but just use your voice - when I was pregnant I had no problem with asking for a seat. A lot of the time people are in their own world and not looking up but if you’re in a priority seat, you should be prepared to give it up (unless you need it yourself.) It’s such a bugbear.

Ahhh I feel your pain. I worked until the end of both of my pregnancies, the last time I got the tube 10 days before giving birth, i was told to fuck off when I asked for a seat. Now, I’m on crutches with a permanent (and obvious) disability, and I still have to ask for a seat.
Pointing to the sign above the end seats which are specifically for people who have trouble standing usually works. Or, ‘either I sit down or vomit on you’ would also work!
YANBU, hope you don’t have too many journeys left x

Just ask! Three babies in London, I asked every day. No one minds. What is mortifying is to offer and then be told that the person isn't expecting which has happened to me, many times. Now I won't take the risk unless I see a baby on board badge. Tfl even offer training to people on how to ask as people are seemingly too anxious to strike up conversation with fellow travellers.

thats a shame about your DD, seeline. My dad is also disabled and people have been kind to her when she asked but she is a lot younger :(

Ahh this pissed me off all through my pregnancy. You do need to ask. I try and make a more conscious effort of checking if there's anyone obviously in need of a seat nowadays, but honestly most people (me included) put their headphones in for a commute, zone out and don't look up to check if anyone needs their seat every stop. I strongly feel you should if you're sat in one of the end ones though!

Just ask. People are often just not paying attention (though they should be if in a priority seat imo). If I see a pregnant woman standing I will ask for her. But when I was pregnant I never had an issue with asking and I’ve never seen anyone refuse once asked. You just need to do it.

Just ask, pregnancy does not make women speechless

Just ask. Even when I was heavily pregnant there were days I didn't want a seat (eg if the train wasn't crowded and I had been sitting all day). Perhaps if you don't ask people think you don't want a seat.

PS what is more uncomfortable- asking a simple question or “enduring a journey feeling dizzy and sick” - you have a responsibility to your baby now as well - so do it for them.

Just ask. I'm disabled and if I get a fuck off I remind the person it is a condition of carage to give up an access seat if required to do so.

I don’t live in London but would back you up if anyone was rude to you.

Echo the views - just ask. I always asked the person sitting in the seat allocated for disabled/pregnant/less able to stand passengers. That way I didn’t feel I was having to ‘choose’ a person to ask which felt easier and more straight forward. I didn’t wait to be noticed.

Sorry you’ve experienced this- it hasn’t been my experience. Definitely ask- I think in rush hour people sometimes tune out if their surroundings (because it’s so hellish) and might not notice you.

You need to ask not complain on here. Dint be afraid. I know values and manners have declined sadly, so use your voice.

once on the bakerloo line I was pregnant and sitting. A lady came in and she was pregnant too. I politely asked the man sitting next to me to give his seat to this woman which he did.
i thanked him. I explained to the lady I was pregnant too.
my station arrived and I wish the lady well and thanked the man again. She told me she thought he was my husband. we all
laugh.

Sisterhood! Help yourself and help others.

You need to ask. Most people won't offer.

And yes, there are seats for disabled/pregnant/parents of small kids so ask the people sat there.

A surprising number of people on mumsnet don’t believe in standing up for pregnant women. Blows my mind but it’s the reality. There are so many shit things you need to put up with that standing while lugging a baby, feeling sick/dizzy and having scientifically proven impaired balance just doesn’t need to be another one imo.
I would always move for a pregnant woman but obviously that’s not universal anymore.

I suspect a proportion of the commuters are not Londoners either but travelling through or into London!

I barely look up when on the train, usually using the time for life admin, but wouldn’t hesitate to give my seat up.

Something to consider: the baby on board badge may not be visible from the seated vantage point and, as PP said, assuming someone is pregnant based on their bump can lead to embarrassment, so I would urge you to ask when you need it.

I was on a very busy train in London the other day where two pregnant woman got on and stood. Two other strangers spoke up and asked people to get up so they could sit down which they did.

I honestly think people are so engrossed in their phones on a London commute that they don't even notice these things sometimes.

Please speak up! If you say "is anyone please able to give me a seat?" you will get a seat.

Do you wear one of those please give me a seat badges? It doesn't work all the time but I think people are more likely to notice if you do wear one.

Yeah someone pointed at the sign above me and said ‘can’t you read?’ Yes I can that’s why me and my disability are in a seat. I don’t ‘look disabled’ but i am. Issues with standing and my joints.

Yeah people will try to ignore you OP.

It’s not just if you’re pregnant - I’ve had broken limbs and been ignored, I’ve seen blind people and the very elderly ignored etc.

I think it’s something particular about commuters - travelling on their own and so limited social pressure to do anything?

I learned to just ask, and not feel awkward about it. People are all suddenly very able to give up their seat once you’ve asked.

Annoying though.

I’m shocked that pregnant and disabled people get told to fuck off if they ask for seat! Unbelievable!