To say something now or leave it to see if I hear from the school - DD misgendered a teacher

[EvilsElsasPetSnowman]

DD is 11 in year 7. She had a non-binary teacher who she has to refer to as ‘Mx Surname’ (pronounced Mix). When she started she said “It’s obvious she’s a woman as she has boobs and a woman’s voice” but that they were told they must only refer to her as Mx. She thought it was a load of nonsense (as do I) but I told her that it’s best not to ruffle feathers and just go along with it because I don’t want her to be in trouble but I thought I’d have to keep a beady eye out for any problems.

On Friday afternoon she came back from school panicking because she accidentally called this teacher Miss when doing the register. They have to say “Here Mx” when their names are called and she said “Here Miss”. The teacher said “Really DDName, I have been your teacher for 12 weeks now, you know my pronouns!” And moved on. DD said she (DD) went bright red and felt embarrassed.

I have gone back and forth over the weekend, I’m really torn between saying something and leaving it because I don’t want DD to be a target because I’ve pissed a teacher off, or just be labelled a horrible bigot (let’s face it school will not see my POV). It’s a subject she absolutely adores as well so I don’t want her to have any backlash because she struggles with certain subjects and so lives for the few she enjoys including this one.

So Im wondering if I should email the school saying children should not be shamed for “misgendering”, this person is an adult and should be a bit more resilient and not expect children to put aide their subconscious and shirk reality, or should I wait to see if there’s any backlash before doing that? Obviously if there is I’ll defend DD to the hilt but I am thinking about getting ahead of the game as the whole thing really pisses me off.

YABU = say something now
YANBU = wait it out

sorry but mx is ridiculous. wouldn't use it and wouldn't let my child either

How about ‘O mighty one’? I figure that is gender neutral, and once we correct any lacklustre ones who feign momentary embarrassment, we can get on with things. Maybe ‘O imperial majesty’ sounds better.

Oh but thats too logical.

Of course going by Mx doesn't affect their ability to teach, but it's really a Trojan horse for trans women sorry male bad actors, whatever that means to push their ideology on children and make them all transition or sexually abuse them 🙄

It's all too over the top and pearly clutching to engage with sensibly unfortunately.

Because it is GASLIGHTING! Its gaslighting women to deny our lived experience as female. Would you really expect yourself and your children to call a man who had Schizophrenia and thought he was the second coming of Jesus, Jesus?

No I’m not the child but I disagree with you and your assertion that the tone was aggressive. It shouldn’t be described as “shaming”, this is how words lose their power.

No, it is not bigoted. You are very ignorant of what the word 'bigoted' actually means. The actual fact is many of these people DO make it their entire identity and set traps to slip people up. The fact that mix and miss sound so similar means this woman was listening so carefully in order to trip up a student to make a big deal out of it. Have you not read the thread? Have you not read where women in their 20s were called granddad, and didn't react? What do you think the reaction of the teacher in the OP would be, if she were called grand dad? Be honest with yourself. She'd be apoplectic and have a stroke. Her type actively set traps so they can make a big deal and get attention.

Jesus is a pretty common Latin American name, so tbh if he wanted to be called Jesus and he didn’t want me to follow him or believe he was the son of God, I’d call him Jesus in a social situation or if I was treating him in hospital or trying to persuade him to go there?

I think this is a stretch - the OP gives very limited information about the teacher and to say they are of a particular ‘type’ or would react in a particular way to a hypothetical situation is way beyond what the evidence given would support.

As I keep saying, I correct children who call me ‘Miss’ - and I might well say ‘I’ve taught you all term, you know I’m Mrs Can’t / you know I’m married’ in an appropriately chatty way.

We have no evidence to support assertions that the teacher in question was doing any more than this - restating their preferred name.

Wrong! Trans is not a tangible reality. Its a Gender Ideology, a religious cult. You need to accept that. There will never be such a thing as 'gender' or changing sex. This is a reality that you need to accept. This is a dangerous cult and social contagion there is no science or reality to it and there never has been.

Men aren't going to use it, because there's no advantage to men in hiding their sex in the workplace. The men who identify as women won't use it in place of the far more affirming 'miss'. Non binary men might use it I suppose. But other than that it will only be used by women, so becomes as much of an identifier of sex as any other title.

“Would you really expect yourself and your children to call a man who had Schizophrenia and thought he was the second coming of Jesus, Jesus?”

How about the pupils are instructed to use ‘O Jesus Christ, my great redeemer’? Or ‘God in human form on earth’? Once any non believing/ hateful children have been corrected, the teacher could just get on with teaching. Some are stating that it wouldn’t affect the teaching.

You could insert the belief that the teacher is any great religious leader. Or Santa Claus. Maybe seasonal changes. Keep the kiddies on their tootsies.

No, YOUR opinion is misguided and based on a lack of understanding of human immutability, facts and science and devoid of REALITY. Your ideas are harmful, misogynistic, backward, bigoted and discriminatory.

There is no such thing as 'nonbinary'. Its a social fad, there are 8 billion people on this planet made up of two sexes and 8 billion different personalities.

Ooooh, we're pearl clutchers, apparently, according to Serene. Probably women of a certain age, as well.

What about hysterical? Are we hysterical yet?

Or are we just not wanting children to be coerced into going along with a deeply troubling ideology?

Nice bit of misogyny there Serene.

Keep digging that hole of yours. The more we post the more we see how much you despise women.

I just happen to be informed on the subject and understand what the facts are and also what discrimination looks like.

All evidence to the contrary.

And if you don't like Male Bad Actors to be used for the males who are either trans or have used trans ideology to actively harm women and children in what should be single sex spaces, what phrase should we be using?

Because we can't tell what the motive of the male is when it is based simply on the declaration of 'I am trans so I have the right to be there'.

"To assume that every child is more stressed in a good teacher’s class purely because they have a preferred honorific of ‘Mx’ is definitely reaching."

I never made that polarised claim, I said there is likely that other students have seen what happened and taken it on board. 'Some'.

Do you think that some may be affected? Or do you dismiss this as being possible?

And it is not just the 'honorific', it is the pronoun usage too.

That is what you assume of your student's reactions.

There is precisely zero scientific research on the social contagion and cult of Gender Ideology. In fact, it shows a lack of thought, a lack of introspection, a lack of self reflection and a profound lack of critical thought or development. It shows a deeply misogynistic and regressive easily brainwashed mindset.

No I haven't noticed that people, other than you and Tandora stopped engaging with me. If you actually read the thread I think I've had more positive engagement with my posts than any other poster.

Why is it, that you have refused to define non binary? And refused to explain why if gender and sex are different, trans women insist on being in women's 'sex based spaces' even though there is increasing evidence of harm as a result of male sexed people being in there?

I don't know why you find these questions aggressive. I think they are entirely reasonable when your position is that women should give up our sex based rights on undefinable notions of gender.

How are questions aggressive but males demanding access even though it harms women is not?

Going from talking about pronouns to proclaiming that non binary doesn't exist and then leaping to trans women being violent criminals violating women and their single sex spaces with no provocationndoes come across as aggressive to me. We are literally discussing pronouns not the rape of women and children but you were desperate to take the argument there weren't you?

I haven't defined non binary because you know what it is you just don't believe in it. You can Google it if you want a dictionary definition, but you don't you want me to prove it is real, but you won't ever believe it is real so what is the point?

males demanding access even though it harms women is not?

You paint this picture of men aggressively kicking the womens changing room door down which is hyperbolic because that is not what trans women are doing. They are dressing as women , renaming themselves and asking nicely. This is what I find aggressive about your approach, you refuse to accept anyone's points then make dramatic OTT unrealistic statements while demanding a definite you aren't interested in accepting. So no, I won't waste my time engaging with you annymore. You won't change your mind so it is a waste of both of our time.

Ah yes, totally respectful to gaslight our children into not believing in reality/not trusting their instincts. What a load of self indulgent shit. Don’t teach in secondary if you don’t want your bullshit called out

Agreed with every letter of this post. I'd bring it up with the school especially if DD was upset.