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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be so upset I’m missing my child’s nativity?

318 replies

charmonachain · 01/12/2024 15:38

Teacher myself … I really wish I’d just called in sick to be honest which I’ll probably be flamed for but I am a tad gutted. Saying so here so I don’t spend tomorrow swearing.

OP posts:
LividBaubles · 01/12/2024 15:41

Did you ask and get refused?

Yep. You know what to do next year. Is it too late to get sick?

(and anyone judging you can fuck right off frankly)

Glasgow1996 · 01/12/2024 15:43

Phone in sick!!!!!!

charmonachain · 01/12/2024 15:43

Problem is that I DID ask - it will be glaringly obvious now. I am so annoyed, though and feel quite let down although I knew it was likely.

OP posts:
VickyEadieofThigh · 01/12/2024 15:44

Glasgow1996 · 01/12/2024 15:43

Phone in sick!!!!!!

And then make an appearance at another school, in front of a shedload of witnesses? Go straight to suspension and possible dismissal for unprofessional conduct.

Zae134 · 01/12/2024 15:46

Could you ask again and offer to take it unpaid?

SillySeal · 01/12/2024 15:46

Do they not have anyone who could cover you? Or is it because there are lots of teachers in your school in the same boat?

Seems mean. I get teachers can't take holidays in term time but I do think it is harsh they won't let you have a few hours off to watch your own child. I would be annoyed too OP and I'm not a teacher.

Zae134 · 01/12/2024 15:48

I'd also take it to governors, you should have a policy that allows you some element of flexibility under parental leave. Or even another way of doing it- we do a cover scheme whereby I can be put on cover for up to 2 hours each year in return for 2 hours back paid.

GridlockonMain · 01/12/2024 15:48

YANBU, that’s a shame for you ❤️

WhitbyBee · 01/12/2024 15:49

Zae134 · 01/12/2024 15:48

I'd also take it to governors, you should have a policy that allows you some element of flexibility under parental leave. Or even another way of doing it- we do a cover scheme whereby I can be put on cover for up to 2 hours each year in return for 2 hours back paid.

That is not what parental leave is !

Glasgow1996 · 01/12/2024 15:49

VickyEadieofThigh · 01/12/2024 15:44

And then make an appearance at another school, in front of a shedload of witnesses? Go straight to suspension and possible dismissal for unprofessional conduct.

Awk behave yourself it’s her child!

Happiestathome · 01/12/2024 15:49

It is completely understandable to be gutted. It’s a shame SLT couldn’t/wouldn’t find a way to allow you to be there. Treat yourself to something lovely to cheer yourself up. It’s great working term time as a parent, but rubbish in these moments.

Littlemiracles232504 · 01/12/2024 15:50

This is actually really sad!
I'm sorry your missing this I hope your DCs school can at least document this for you

EmotionalSupportPotato · 01/12/2024 15:51

Personally I'd leave teaching if it's this unflexible

Onthesideofthespiders · 01/12/2024 15:51

WhitbyBee · 01/12/2024 15:49

That is not what parental leave is !

Yes, it is.
Everyone is entitled to 6 weeks unpaid parental leave until your child is 18 (or something like that).
But I think it needs to be taken in blocks of one week at a time? I can’t remember.

But, that’s exactly what it’s for. Unpaid leave for anything you want to do with your child.

ByDenimSheep · 01/12/2024 15:51

It sucks. It really does but it’s part of being a teacher. We both teach - we always sent a grandparent it’s the same for your child but it’s not the same for you.
The only thing I ever saw was the year 6 leavers production as it was in the evening and didn’t clash with my school.

FridayFeelingmidweek · 01/12/2024 15:52

charmonachain · 01/12/2024 15:43

Problem is that I DID ask - it will be glaringly obvious now. I am so annoyed, though and feel quite let down although I knew it was likely.

Call in sick and if they ask for the reason /return to work conversation cite diarrhoea. One day, in a galaxy far far away, teachers will be allowed an element of flexibility so they don't miss their own children's precious moments. This is a huge reason why many of my experienced teacher friends have left the profession a few short years after having their own kids.

EmotionalSupportPotato · 01/12/2024 15:54

Onthesideofthespiders · 01/12/2024 15:51

Yes, it is.
Everyone is entitled to 6 weeks unpaid parental leave until your child is 18 (or something like that).
But I think it needs to be taken in blocks of one week at a time? I can’t remember.

But, that’s exactly what it’s for. Unpaid leave for anything you want to do with your child.

Right but 1 week unpaid leave is excessive for a nativity plus the school are allowed to say no it's too short notice and give her another week she doesn't even want

bridgetreilly · 01/12/2024 15:54

Can the other parent go? I know it’s not the same but at least your child will have someone cheering for them.

TickingAlongNicely · 01/12/2024 15:54

Yanbu to be upset. But you won't be the only one.

EmotionalSupportPotato · 01/12/2024 15:54

bridgetreilly · 01/12/2024 15:54

Can the other parent go? I know it’s not the same but at least your child will have someone cheering for them.

How's that going to make op feel if she's a single parent??

Littletreefrog · 01/12/2024 15:55

Glasgow1996 · 01/12/2024 15:49

Awk behave yourself it’s her child!

And it's a Nativity not a life or death situation.

bridgetreilly · 01/12/2024 15:55

EmotionalSupportPotato · 01/12/2024 15:54

How's that going to make op feel if she's a single parent??

Well, in most cases there is still another parent. Or a grandparent, or someone!

Onthesideofthespiders · 01/12/2024 15:56

EmotionalSupportPotato · 01/12/2024 15:54

Right but 1 week unpaid leave is excessive for a nativity plus the school are allowed to say no it's too short notice and give her another week she doesn't even want

I didn’t say that I would use it for this, but another poster explicitly started that this is not what parental leave it.

But it is. It’s for whatever you want.

LadyKenya · 01/12/2024 15:57

Glasgow1996 · 01/12/2024 15:49

Awk behave yourself it’s her child!

Would the head be so understanding though, if they found out? I highly doubt it.

BIWI · 01/12/2024 15:57

Both my parents were teachers, and both sets of grandparents lived 200+ miles away, so I was very used to no-one being there for anything like this that happened at school. I survived!

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