To be so upset I’m missing my child’s nativity?

[charmonachain]

Teacher myself … I really wish I’d just called in sick to be honest which I’ll probably be flamed for but I am a tad gutted. Saying so here so I don’t spend tomorrow swearing.

It’s not .
Like every job it has its upsides and downsides.
Not being able to go to performances is a downside.
Knowing you will always have Christmas Day and the many other holidays at home is an upside.

Very short sighted of them! Hope you don't offer to lead any after school clubs, trips, evening events for the children at your school. Why is it ok for you to put yourself out for others children but your own children have to miss out on you being there.

They obviously do not value their staff.

The main school I work at has been really inconsistent on this which has caused a few issues. They put a lot on staff so last year tried to make up for it by allowing unpaid time off for Christmas concerts and sports days. This year however its a black and white "no" to anything like this due to how tight they're running staffing levels and the issue is there are a lot of teachers there with primary aged children. There have been a few "coincidental" absences for this which obviously looks bad but I can also understand the confusion around some allowances last year but not this year. Lots of schools are realising that you have to allow for some stuff like this but then others don't.

That's so shit. Our kids school made sure the date of our Nativity didn't clash with a couple of the teachers kids ones so that they could go.

I don’t think pointing out ‘I survived’ is not hugely comforting in this context is rude, I actually think the post I replied to was ruder. But we are all different, report it if you think it’s rude.

my husband and I are both doctors and there have been years neither of us could go. When we can’t we send granny. None of our kids seemed that bothered whether we were there or not. I know it’s disappointing but you won’t be the only parent who can’t make it.

Surely loads of people, not just teachers, can't get time off for nativities? And this is the compromise for being able to have every single holiday off with your child. I work for myself, for the very reason that I want full autonomy over how I spend my time, although I make other compromises, and it costs me, personally, to make sure there is cover for me.

Yes, it's disappointing, but teaching is notorious for not being able to take term time off, so it can't be a surprise

Do you teach drama?

Whilst your first paragraph is absolutely correct, re the second one, a lot has changed in schools attitudes towards this. Teachers are leaving in droves so a lot of schools are now recognising the need for a bit of flexibility towards unpaid leave for stuff like this.

I am guessing you think this is delightful, biting wit.

It isn’t.

I was a teacher and missed the nativity play and various harvest festivals etc. My mother usually stood in for me though DH went once or twice. TBH, my children couldn’t have cared less. They knew I worked to bring more money into the house and could see how it made life easier.

I feel sorry for you OP thinking that a primary nativity is such a big deal when it isn’t. I wish they’d stop doing them tbh as they’re such a waste of time and effort in my view.

My school (secondary) used to run on goodwill and flexibility. New head, new SLT - everything is by the book. Which means that staff have responded in kind and it's increasingly hard to get anyone to volunteer to do 'extra' stuff like trips and clubs. One of the reasons I am now planning on retiring sooner rather than later.

That’s a bit harsh, many people see them as a right of passage.
And the children mostly enjoy doing them.

That's a real shame for you OP.

When I was teaching and DS1 was in nativities, my lovely HT would allow me the couple of hours off, paid!

Presumably you wouldn't object if all the teachers at your child's school who have school-age children themselves were to phone in sick, so that your child's nativity play has to be cancelled.

They are a nice thing for the children it's when the parents get involved the whole thing becomes a ball ache. Complaining about who got what part, complaining they are on during the day, complaining they are in in the evening, considering giving up a whole career because they can't go to see it etc etc. They should just do a Nativity and perform it to the other children in the school or invite local Residential Home residents like my kids school used to do.

Well, it isn’t even a primary nativity. It’s a preschool one. It’s a big deal to me: whether it should be or not is by the by, it is. I would have liked to have gone and given it was only an hour as a one off it could reasonably have been accommodated, and it does sting when you know you go over and above!

I can honestly say that I wouldn’t.

And I will also add that half our KS3 had no teacher last year - in a core subject. The rest were off with stress. So an hour off once is paling into insignificance somewhat; especially since next year it will be the full day.

That’s teaching in general nowadays if you ask me.
The more you invite parents in the more trouble you end up with.
The worst part of my day is talking to parents on the gate.

Why wouldn’t you object to such unprofessional behaviour?

I don’t blame you for ringing in sick next year. How mean not letting you go for an hour to see your baby- honestly, and we wonder why there’s a recruitment crisis!!

my school is very accommodating- our head is a woman and she has 4 children so she’s very human in these situations. But it should be like that across the board.

What really is unfair is the inconsistency between schools because mine absolutely would allow the time for this.

All these schools with very accommodating heads must be very fortunate with their staffing levels. My local school had no flexibility. The senior leadership already covered classes a lot, especially if someone was off sick. There weren’t enough TAs to meet the needs of children with SEN at the best of times. And substitute teachers (for which there was pretty much no budget) were like hen’s teeth.

Will the performance be videoed so you atleast get to watch it in some way? I know many schools do not video or allow parents to video or photograph due to data protection which was the case with my own dcs primary school. which was a shame but I totally understand why they didn't allow it.