To be so upset I’m missing my child’s nativity?

[charmonachain]

Teacher myself … I really wish I’d just called in sick to be honest which I’ll probably be flamed for but I am a tad gutted. Saying so here so I don’t spend tomorrow swearing.

I’m a nurse so usually managed to get time off in the week for things like this BUT missed out on weekend and bank holiday stuff. Sometimes I was very sad and disappointed but this is the job I chose. In your position I’d be disappointed and frustrated that my manager was so inflexible.
Perhaps arrange to take your dc out for a little treat after school so they can tell you all about it. Not the same I know but sometimes we have to focus on what we can do not what we can’t.

Yes and you would think a school of all places would value the experiences and wellbeing of children!

Most schools do at least one "evening" performance these days.

No chance of that?

The school I’m in at the moment is doing 1 afternoon performance.
Just one if you can’t make it you can’t make it - there has been quite a backlash from separated parents who can’t go together be in the same room.

There are a lot of jobs that aren't teaching that can't facilitate people taking time of for Nativities etc.

The teachers always sooth the parents by saying the children don't really mind and that it shows how confident they are to perform with no parent there and it builds resilience etc etc.

Then you find teachers talking about pulling Sickies and leaving teaching because they can't go to their own child's Nativity.

Call in sick and if they ask for the reason /return to work conversation cite diarrhoea.

You might as well just announce you are using your sick leave to go to a nativity, that you had already been turned down for, as do this. If your schools aren’t 30 miles apart (and even then) word would have got back to your school before you have.

My children’s school had evening performances, so I could go to those.

I’ve been to pre school and school performances as a grandparent, when parents couldn’t go. Not the same, but better than nothing.

It’s just the way it is very often in teaching.

No need to be rude to @BIWI OP. They were trying to make the point that no lasting damage will be done to your child.

I would have taken missing every play every parent evening and every sports day to be able to have all of the school holidays with my child.

They can choose it for whatever they want for their child. Not 1 nativity and then the rest of the week off by themselves with no benefit for the child whatsoever

I used Parental Leave for this exact reason. I’ve been a parent and teacher for over twenty years and am sick of missing everything. The last few years, at least once a year I use an afternoon of parental leave to attend something of my children’s. My boss reminded me that you are required to give 21 days notice but we all know that no school gives 21 days notice of a performance.
Edited to add that I’ve taken an afternoon each time, not a week.

Good point. Does that help OP? You get the actual christmas day off

To be taken when it's convenient for the employer basically. Which in teaching is the holidays. So no use at all.

You have to take it in whole weeks unless your child has a disability

No employer has any way to police that.

Look; you were just wrong. Stop going on about it.

That’s not true. I’ve used it for an afternoon.

That's so rude to everyone else in the same situation

Of course YANBU to be upset.

Is there not a colleague who would swap their PPA with you ? So you approach the head with a solution rather than a problem ? That's what has happened in schools I've worked in.

I missed all of nativity and sports day as I had to save all my annual leave to cover the school holidays. Luckily we had grand parents to send and I don’t think my children were too bothered as long as they had some “representation” in the room. I don’t remember this as a big issue for any of us to be honest.

Ah you got lucky

You must take parental leave as whole weeks (for example 1 week or 2 weeks) rather than individual days, unless your employer agrees otherwise or if your child is disabled.

"...unless the employer agrees otherwise."
https://www.gov.uk/parental-leave/entitlement

I can see why this is upsetting - I’m a working parent who CAN easily get time off for a nativity or other school event but I would swap that for all school holidays off with them, to be honest. You’re very lucky to have that. I’ve never missed a nativity but I have resented having to put my children into holiday clubs on hot summer days so that I can go to work.

Some employers will let you, it officially the parental leave you are legally entitled to must be taken in blocks of one week at a time.

I work for myself now but literally never had an issue taking it for single days at a time.

Again, you were simply wrong to say “parental leave isn’t for that.” So just stop.

The sad thing is, there are patents who complain that their child's teacher is missing so they have a cover, or that they have to bring their child in for an evening performance (whole thread on her a few days ago about how unreasonable it is for schools to have evening performances)