To be so upset I’m missing my child’s nativity?

[charmonachain]

Teacher myself … I really wish I’d just called in sick to be honest which I’ll probably be flamed for but I am a tad gutted. Saying so here so I don’t spend tomorrow swearing.

Strange bunch of mums in this thread all trying to outdo each other on who has it worse in terms of time off with their kids. It’s unfortunate for any parent who has to miss anything, and it’s not a contest.

Perfectly understandable for OP to be upset about missing her child’s nativity. That doesn’t invalidate everyone else’s experience.

I’m a TA and I’d happily cover class for my teacher to watch their child’s nativity. I appreciate they’ll be lots of things during the school year that you’d like to go to, but I think the Christmas nativity is a little bit special.

Is there any chance you can go into school tomorrow and ask SLT again? What would generally happen if you got sick during the school day? Who would cover then?

I’m not suggesting you throw a sicky. That’s an awful idea. It’s a very small world.

I know the child won't suffer, but something a lot of mums are bad at doing is advocating for their own feelings. It's OK to feel you have missed out and would have liked it, even if it has no consequence for your child. You are important too.

It is also frustrating when it's an employer being crap, rather than a necessity of the role, as plenty of schools do let teachers have nativity off.

Are the school not doing any evening shows? Surely lots of parentswon't be able to get time off work?

Many schools realise that many (most?) 4 yr olds are exhausted enough at this time of year, and wouldn't cope well with being asked to return in the evening and perform.

As a one off they would survive! Every single school i have attended, friends schools, my kids schools etc have always had at least one evening performance.

No because they are probably thinking of the children not the parents. As they should.

https://www.gov.uk/parental-leave

Employers do not have to let you have it off to watch your child for an hour in the school play. Yours did. You were lucky.

What is the point of doing it if your parents cannot come to watch?!

I know that. But lying and claiming you're sick is unprofessional conduct.

The point of a Nativity play for small children is to learn to work together, follow instructions, perform to an audience etc. The audience including your parents is a by product of the exercise.

Who would support children to put on an evening show? Teachers who need to be at home looking after their own families?

I think this is a reflection of the times, where getting 4 year olds reading and writing etc results in them being so exhausted that an evening performance isn't considered.

I am sure I am not alone in those evening performances of my own childhood being one of my lasting memories of childhood. The excitement of going back to school in the dark and being on the stage in front of proud parents.

I live in a village ie not much travel, where asking children to come back to school at 6pm seems to work OK.

I’m a TA and I’d happily cover class for my teacher to watch their child’s nativity.

Your own time? Unpaid?

I hated it

I suppose if there were no special activities at Christmas, there would be complaints. It isn’t possible to accommodate everyone’s wants and needs and make allowances for a variety of jobs, with or without flexibility.

The way I see it with schools, if your head is understanding and grants you this kind of request occasionally, you go above and beyond because there’s plenty of goodwill. If they don’t, then it’s bare minimum.

Yes, exactly. She’s not in the military on deployment somewhere for ten months but she’s still allowed to be sad.

Those same teachers might then appreciate that the school their own children go to put on an evening show so they can attend w/o asking for leave.

And there I was thinking it was teaching them a significant story about a key religious festival.

The timing of parental leave is to the employers discretion. They can approve but for, as an example, the third week in March 2025.

It IS this unflexible. It sucks.

Oh well yes that as well 😂

I think it’s a great shame schools only value parental involvement in their own school but don’t have a wider care for it in general. OP how would it work if you teamed up with another parent on your teaching staff and offered to cover for each other for next year? Would your HT be supportive if it didn’t involve them in having to sort it?

Alternatively become fast tracked to headship and use your influence for good to make a less toxic working environment in your school that actually supports fantastic family friendly working practices. Teachers would probably be very drawn to a school with this reputation.

Can you watch the video with your child and make a special evening of it?

Canyou request your DCs school do an evening performance next year?

I'd leave then. No wonder no one wants to be a teacher it sounds utterly soul destroying