Fed up of feeling invisible? No one noticed my hair.

[worriert]

Maybe more of a background of never feeling like I looked nice and being the only one in the group not complimented.

I had just below shoulder length silver blonde hair. I did a big change, went brunette and had extensions 20” extensions. Not one single person has said anything. I feel like I must be invisible and just ugly.

Who have you seen since?

Are you talking about your husband and close family, or colleagues or something?

Are you sure they recognized you? That's a drastic change.

Who have you seen? People often need a minute to remember to say something

That sounds like a very drastic change, definitely not a case of people not noticing.
So....

1. did people not recognise you?
2. did people not like it? In which case is it a case of if you can't say something nice don't say anything at all.

Pro tip:
Tell DH you are getting hair done.
Spam him with pictures.
put your appointment in his diary.
Text him on your way back how much you love/hate how it turned out.
Walk in and say a loud: "ta daaaa" pointing to your hair.

At this point it is reasonable to expect him to notice.
If all fails shave your head. Men do notice that.

Are you middle-aged? I am and no one ever notices when I change my hair colour. I suspect I could adopt a neon green mohican and still pass under the radar.

People are often in their own little world. It may take time to notice .I know when I change something say new glasses it is a some time before any one else notices. I think it is quite funny. Only recently have some people started to say Oh your new frames suit you to me and that the colour suits me. I got my new glasses in the summer. It will I am sure dawn on people that you have made changes.

I bet you look beautiful OP! Sending love

Can you post a pic from the back?
I've had my waist length haur all chopped off but been ill since so not seen anyone but I bet they will all say they liked it better before

Sometimes people don't say anything about a change in case it was ages ago and they don't want to look silly

To be honest I’m middle aged and i barely notice when i change my hair

It may not be they haven’t noticed you op. It’s possible they don’t really like it. 😕

I’ve had that reaction before when people have made a change I thought was terrible and it took all I could manage to stay level when greeting them and not look shocked. I could not have managed in that instant ( as frantically concealing my shock) to also say something complimentary that didn’t sound forced. So I just went for friendly obliviousness!

It might also be they noticed something different but couldn’t pinpoint it and didn’t like to admit it.

And this too op. If it’s that drastic, I’m sure they have noticed.

I've got my dad and brother here for a visit after not seeing them since February - they live in Scotland and we are in the South of England. I've lost 5 stone this year (thanks mounjaro) and have either of the, noticed? Have they buggery. 🤣

Why should people notice or comment?

This is a shocking reply. How can anyone read someone thinks they are ugly and then respond saying they maybe notified and thought it looked terrible.

😢

Why does it make you feel "invisible" or that people didn't notice? I would have thought it difficult not to notice such a big change. But what do you expect people to do? They can praise it if they like it, but every day we see various things we think look good and don't necessarily comment on everything. What if they don't like it? 20 inches of extensions is very long hair. Clearly you've chosen to do it and presumably you like what you've ended up with, so it would be rude of them to voice that they think it looks stupid.

😂this

I agree with the PP that said they’ve noticed but don’t like it, so don’t know what to say. It’s easier to say nothing.

If you’re consistently the only person in your friendship group who never receives any compliments and gets ignored, you need to find different friends. I doubt this is about them not noticing your hair, they just don’t care about you or your feelings and aren’t good friends. Start distancing yourself from these people and looking for avenues to new friendships.

Bizarrely I find that comforting.

I was just going to follow my post and say it’s a good lesson that we are not as conspicuous as we feel. Next time you are feeling awful going out because it’s been three days since a hair wash, not your normal two, or you have a spot on your chin, it’s comforting to know these things don’t matter so much to others!

If someone looks worse I tend to be shocked and not be able to say anything that sounds credibly positive so I just say nothing.

We need to see a pic of your hair now OP.

You’re all bizarre. ‘Why should people notice’ erm assuming you’re not blind you’d notice if a sister/friend/colleague had obviously spent a lot of money on extensions and a complete colour change!! Don’t make yourself look foolish by claiming you’re that unobservant.

I bet it looks great OP and hope you love it. Keep doing things for you that make you happy and give you a boost. It’s horrible to be unappreciated, I know. Are there any outlets where you can meet new people? An exercise class or some sort of club?