Fed up of feeling invisible? No one noticed my hair.

[worriert]

Maybe more of a background of never feeling like I looked nice and being the only one in the group not complimented.

I had just below shoulder length silver blonde hair. I did a big change, went brunette and had extensions 20” extensions. Not one single person has said anything. I feel like I must be invisible and just ugly.

You ask WHY no one has commented on your appearance.
I then added a reply to the end of this thread a d saw your last 2 remarks about the poster saying "what did u expect?".
I added a fairly nice reply.
I think we found the reason no one commented -they are scared to! Especially if you are this defensive irl .
You obviously have some insecurity from past hurt here (no shame from me bullied here too for my appearance).
Thing is OP if u like it ....who gives a tiss what anyone else thinks?

Sorry OP, it’s nice to be complimented and awful that no one has just taken a minute to say your hair looks nice. Doesn’t cost to be kind but people are so self absorbed these days.

Throw your brains at them.

I work with someone who changes their hair colour every few weeks. Purple, blue, green. No one mentions it and I don't feel the need to either. They're happy with it so that's all that matters isn't it?

I suspect this is the reason nobody in real life commented.

Look OP, you feel this group of people have deliberately ignored a huge change and therefore they don’t like you. I would probably take the hint.

They aren’t your friends. Accept it and move on.

Most people will still see long hair, so are unlikely to comment. A friend of mine who had bottom- length hair had 6 inches off, which was drastic in her eyes, and got upset when nobody commented. It looked the same to us.

Who exactly hasn't noticed?

If its a group who you think of as friends, and they are making you feel bad about yourself, then better not to associate with them.

There is no need to associate with people who make you feel bad about yourself

That is a tad odd, for not one person to say anything. It’s not a reflection on you though OP. You haven’t done anything wrong. Some people are just very wrapped up in their own lives. You carry on doing what you want and feeling pretty, because your worth is not based on what others think. I’m sure you look and feel fabulous!

To me it shows how many people now want to insult people in one way or another in order to object that they aren’t ‘allowed’ to. You can say what you like. People might criticise if it’s in some way unpleasant.

It may not even be not liking it. Just struggling to get used to it and feeling awkward about it because etiquette is to love it. It can actually be slightly unnerving when someone hugely changes their appearance because they don't feel like them any more.

No it's not that at all, it's because most people are so self-absorbed and they don't look any further than their noses!!

Do what my mum does, say what you’ve had done/new thing you are wearing and say “ do you like it?” I

Mumsnet is the place where people post thinking they’ll get support but really, they leave here worse than they came!

Comments are mean and unnecessary. Your friends really could think the look doesn’t suit you or maybe they don’t care enough to compliment you. It’s not nice feeling invisible and I totally understand where you’re coming from

The comments mostly haven’t been mean, just thinking of reasons they might not of commented that weren’t that she’s “ugly”, as she said. OP hasn’t thanked anyone, just came back and bitched at perceived offense.

20 inches is a shitload to add.

As it's appeared overnight, it'll be obvious it's either a wig or weave. That's not passing judgement upon it or whether it looks good, it just is - to go from shoulder length to that length instantly can only be from one or the other. I originally said I wouldn't mention it because you might be undergoing chemotherapy. That still stands, I'm not going to remark upon anybody's purchase unless they tell me they're having treatment/want to know what I think.

This level of anger and unpleasant language towards yourself and towards others for not falling over themselves to compliment you, though, is unusual.

She's answering back at the mean comments, she's allowed to do that, people here love to be mean, I'd love to know what they're like irl. 🤔

No one has suggested op is ugly on this thread - except op herself.

What people have suggested is her friends might have omitted to compliment her even if she is NOT ugly.

It’s not the fault of anyone commenting that the friends didn’t compliment. No one here can change that. And noone can compliment as they haven’t seen her.

The best they can do is supply reasons those compliments might not have been forthcoming without resorting to the conclusion op is ugly - which is what they have done. A decent range of suggestions had been supplied.

I’ve lost two stone and not a single person has said anything or appeared to notice (excluding DH who has been very complementary and encouraging).

I had the opposite recently - ie somebody noticing something about me that hadn't happened!
She said 'how did you manage to lose all that weight?'
I was a bit ???? because I've been the same size and weight for about 20 years.

All these posts replying saying people aren't saying anything because they hate it are disgusting!!
What a horrible thing to say to someone.

I'm so sorry you've had those replies OP, some people on here just can't help themselves and they have to pass their misery on to others. Please don't take it to heart, it's them not you I promise.

As for your hair, I'm absolutely useless at recognising what someone has changed. I can usually spot that something has changed, but the minute it has, I forget what they looked like before!! So in your instance I would be looking at you knowing something was new but my brain would have wiped any recollection of you being silver blonde. I do try hard to acknowledge that though, to stop people feeling as you (and I often,) have. Sending hugs x