Fed up of feeling invisible? No one noticed my hair.

[worriert]

Maybe more of a background of never feeling like I looked nice and being the only one in the group not complimented.

I had just below shoulder length silver blonde hair. I did a big change, went brunette and had extensions 20” extensions. Not one single person has said anything. I feel like I must be invisible and just ugly.

Of course you'd expect people to comment with such a drastic change. I'd find it odd if they didn't.

A couple of years ago I completely changed my hair, cut and colour (brunette to platinum). I went to see my MIL straight from the salon. She didn't say a word about. The only reason in can think I for that is that she really didn't like it and wasn't sure what to say so chose to stay silent!

Nobody has suggested you are ugly. Several have suggested from their own experience that they don’t comment if they don’t like a change someone has made. Some have said they never comment either way.

I’d be disappointed if my friends didn’t notice or comment to be honest. My friends tend to build each other up and compliments are part of that.

Sorry your thread has turned nasty op. The last time I got my hair done, my small daughter said: “your hair is beautiful mummy”
As I preened with self satisfaction she added: “your hair look just like Edna Mode”

Bubble burst
For anyone who doesn’t know who she is

.Edna mode

I honest to god don’t know where that gif came from

I think it makes a difference who exactly the OP was expecting comments from.

Work colleagues - no, not necessarily. People don't always comment on personal appearance in a working environment.

Family and close friends - yes, I would expect them to comment.

Now we've got more info about your age I am very surprised no one has commented as it probably does look much better. I initially assumed you might be in your 50s and it was all too much. I have a theory that people are so unobservant that they wouldn't notice if your head was missing plus people sometimes think things then don't say them.

Wow this thread is bonkers. So many mean comments.

OP - you say in your first post you’re the only one not complimented - do you mean your group of friends are normally the types to exchange comments on things like a new hair do and yet you’re usually left out of this? Is that what’s upsetting you?

You mentioned that you are the only one in the group not complimented. Do you mean the only
one not complemented in a group of friends, OP?I’m sure your hair looks lovely, OP. 🌺 To be honest I very rarely comment on another person’s hair, even when they have drastically changed it. If the person I’m speaking to tells me they have had their hair done, then I will say something like “it looks really lovely”. Not sure why I won’t say something first but I don’t (and it’s not because I think their hair looks awful).

I thought the whole issue was that nobody had commented either way?

nobody on this thread knows what you look like so has no idea whether you are an "ugly dog" or not. I don't see where anyone on this thread has called you ugly. The most anyone has said is that one possible reason for not complimenting your haircut is because those who have seen it in real life don't think it suits you....which isn't even to say they are right.

tbh having read your updates...if you come across this aggressive and angry in real life it's understandable why you aren't overwhelmed with people rushing to compliment you...

@worriert my daughter had a friend with ginger hair. As an adult she dyed it black. I never recognised on numerous occasions. She asked me why and I said I'm not expecting you to have dark hair. She's gone back to her natural colour with blonde highlights. Easily recognised now.

Oh so do you not eat meat? Have milk? Own an iPhone? Only buy locally?

But no you stay up on your high horse.

Oh yes the unimaginative “angry” and “aggressive” Mumsnet 101 comment.

You do understand humans are complex and that reading the odd paragraph they’ve written on an anonymous internet forum doesn’t actually mean you know them in any capacity?

Vegans buying the hair of impoverished girls and wanting applause for it (and seemingly for buying a Samsung to scroll on whilst drinking coffee made from Alpro or Oatly) is a flex I haven't heard of before.

You got your previously bleached with products tested on animals hair dyed and a shitload of weave added. It either looks like a wig or it looks like weave. Either way, the person underneath is unchanged whether it's mentioned or not.

It's just not that deep.

I guess that shows how rife it has become .

Maybe your colleagues find you quick to jump at perceived offence so didn't say anything.

I think it’s possibly something that seems to have been a pattern, as op seems to have been feeling “ left out” of the compliments exchange even before the change.

We can’t be sure why they ignored it op is the honest answer.

People have tabled most possibilities: jealousy, feeling you might not take the compliment happily, not thinking the change was good.

I don’t think being ugly is a likely reason however; i think if you really thought someone was ugly (and people tend not to think that about friends) then you might actually make more effort to comment than usual if you felt they had made a change and needed confidence.

I used to meet up with a group of mums at playgroup, who I considered friends, A couple of times, when I’d had my hair done nicely, I noticed nobody said a word, whereas I would have naturally said how nice they looked and did, when they’d had similar.

I realised, when I bumped into another friend who mentioned my new hair cut straight away, that it was the group of mums I socialised with.

They just weren’t as nice as I’d thought they were.

I’m sure you look lovely. Some people are just jealous.

The more your reply @worriert, the more obvious it is why no one has the guts to give you their opinion in real life.

Who said I was a vegan? Think the point smacked you in the face and you still couldn’t see it. I’m saying you’re a hypocrite because I’m sure you contribute to unethical industries. And do people still use the word flex? …

And I neither have a wig or a weave love. You clearly have no idea about hair. Who said I had “shitload” of hair added? Did I post how many grams I had? I don’t think so. It’s just you again making things up. It’s very bizarre. And what’s wrong with “looking like a weave” many black women have weaves. However you seem to be saying that’s a bad look and why it wouldn’t get a compliment?

The people who are obsessed with saying “it looks like a wig” when they’ve never seen it as a strange bunch. I feel sorry for anyone wearing a wig reading these horrendous comments tbh.

You know sometimes I think people just don’t want you to look better.

Not saying this for this situation. I do however look better, I have dark eyebrows, blue eyes that got washed out with silver blonde and olive toned skin. I just suit brunette more because it’s my natural colour.

When I lost weight a few years back the comments I got were horrible, saying I was too thin and I shouldn’t lose anymore. I think sometimes people don’t like to see someone change.

I got a new job and friend who regularly boasted about her salary asked me straight away how much I would be earring. Even before “congratulations”

You are extremely defensive and aggressive OP, I'd be quite scared to mention your appearance to you tbh

I think maybe you need to get some new friends OP.

I was being sarcastic!

Maybe they don't care (& not in a negative sense pls read on ....) about your looks and think it's too personal a thing to comment on (especially colleagues) and they like you anyway and they aren't the type of people who place too much emphasis on looks . They like you for who you are and not a hair style . I'm sure it looks really good.