Fed up of feeling invisible? No one noticed my hair.

[worriert]

Maybe more of a background of never feeling like I looked nice and being the only one in the group not complimented.

I had just below shoulder length silver blonde hair. I did a big change, went brunette and had extensions 20” extensions. Not one single person has said anything. I feel like I must be invisible and just ugly.

Interesting.

I personally think that if you are of an age where you have silver grey hair then getting brunette extensions is not going to be an improvement so people have kept quiet rather than upset you.

So you did your hair for other people? I don't care who notices what I do or not as I do things for me no one else

Maybe work on yourself and your self respect and not put your issues on to others

Why would other people comment on your hair?

It sounds like a big change. I'm sure people noticed instantly, recovered themselves then carried on, business as usual.

I had my almost non existent eyebrows microbladed a few years ago. It was quite a drastic change but neither my husband nor my mum noticed.
My husbands boss did, he asked me what I had done as I looked different!

@worriert i wear a wig due to a medical condition. It’s real human hair and custom made for me - it doesn’t look like a wig, but of course it is.

I imagine getting extensions longer than your previous hair is confusing and definitely falls into ‘fake’ territory even if it don’t look it.

20" hair extensions?

Sadly, a comment such as "wtf?" sometimes causes offence, so best to keep quiet

why are so you fixated on other peoples opinion of yourself? you sound to have very serious issues with self esteem and I suggest some counselling.

I’ve changed my hair colour multiple times but not for the validation of others. Doing things and measuring their success based on compliments of others isn’t good for your mental health.

If absolutely NO ONE has said a single thing about such a drastic change, then I'm assuming it's because people don't like it

Unfortunately I also have experience of this.

I have often changed from natural blonde to Brunette/plum/pink/Henna etc
Without fail, most people would completely ignore it..
Until months later I went back to blonde and was told by everyone they had hated the change!

I think if it was below the shoulders before, and is now longer that’s a change that isn’t so obvious to other people as it all just reads as long. I tend to go from waist length to shoulder length and then let it grow again. Surprisingly few people notice when I’ve had a chop.

Tbf people wouldn't randomly ask if you're having chemotherapy, would they? They'd say nothing, which was my point.

As long as you're happy with the new hair, that's the important thing.

Perhaps they’re following the rule if “if you don’t have anything nice to say”.

I’m not sure if you mean your family or friends?

If the latter, some groups have this weird hierarchy that doesn’t like anyone stepping outside their roles. If you’ve been “natural looking Janet” and have turned into “manicured Janet”, they can’t cope! Same with weight loss, clothes, jobs etc. This is why my friends have been more 1:1 than groups in recent years.

I’m sure it’s lovely!

Looking well? Oh we all know what hats code for on mumsnet! And yes I do not expect male colleagues to comment on my physical appearance at work. There is just no need for it.

OP hasn't said whether it's family or friends... or the milkman... or anyone else who may not even know her.

Who did you do it for?

I’d say it’s one of three things:

1. they haven’t noticed. This is really unlikely as it’s a different colour and length / volume.
2. they’ve noticed, like it and don’t want to compliment you.
3. they’ve noticed it, dislike it and think it’s better to say nothing.

If it’s 2, are they competitive? Does it look lovely?
If it’s 3, is the style definitely one which suits and are the extensions done well?

The OP has had 20 inch brunette hair extensions added to her previously short silver blonde hair.

Drastic is probably a reasonable assessment.

I think it is fair to say most people have noticed but aren't really sure what to say.

I think this pretty much sums it up oP.

But I don’t think any of it suggests you are either invisible or ugly.

More likely they are self-absorbed, think you don’t “ need” compliments ( some people give off that vibe) , or thought you looked great before the change.

A sign of being attractive is not receiving compliments !!
That’s my take on it !!!
I bet it looks lovely❤️ Xxxx

DH never comments on anything - hair, new clothes , weight etc. I had a haircut last week and my highly critical girl friend didn’t comment on it so I know it is ok.

true.