Fed up of feeling invisible? No one noticed my hair.

[worriert]

Maybe more of a background of never feeling like I looked nice and being the only one in the group not complimented.

I had just below shoulder length silver blonde hair. I did a big change, went brunette and had extensions 20” extensions. Not one single person has said anything. I feel like I must be invisible and just ugly.

That's an interesting take. Maybe I'm too free with my compliments?

Lovely!!!

That’s the saddest thing I’ve ever read, to think that, and it’s even sadder someone said they were to free with their compliments, based on this patently untrue and sad comment.

Huh? I bleached my hair and toned it silver. I’m in my early 30s where I appreciate you can get grey hairs but as of now I actually haven’t.

I’ve gone back to my natural colour. Which does suit me better (as does most peoples natural hair colour) and added on considerable length.

This has just gone beyond weird this thread

This thread is absolutely awful. It’s basically come down to why should anyone compliment you and it obviously looks shite.

And even bitchy comments about the length of how it can’t possibly look nice because it’s 20”. I’m sure those saying all this have hair of a goddess.

Which people are they? Friends, family, colleagues etc? It is strange that no one has said anything, unless you change your hair often. I used to switch between dark and blonde a lot so people didn’t really say anything.

If your hair is suddenly a lot longer it's either extensions or a wig.

Some people would be wary in case it's a wig & others don't like extensions so might say nothing even if they think it looks nice.

However if you are one of a group of friends & someone usually says something then it's odd that nothing has been said to you I think.

Even if it's something neutral like "that's a big change".

I don't think it means that you are invisible or ugly, but treated differently!

I thought it was now forbidden to comment on such things? Might give the impression that fat was bad or something.

what sort of answers were you expecting? Not being goady, I'm honestly interested to know, what did you want, think or hope people might say when you started the thread?

Realistically, as many people have pointed out, there are only so many reasons why people wouldn't have commented on a drastic appearance change. You haven't posted a photo, which is fair enough, but means nobody here can actually give an informed opinion of whether they think it looks good or not so I'm at a bit of a loss as to what you expect from the thread?

Would a bunch of replies just saying "Aw they're all jealous hun, bet you look stunning" actually have helped you feel better at all? If you honestly want to know whether this particular appearance change suits you you'd be better off asking someone you trust in real life. If it's a wider issue about feeling unattractive, and wanting to improve your appearance or not having much confidence and wanting to improve that, those are two very separate things and you'd be better off starting a thread specifically asking about them, possibly even in specific forums like style and beauty/mind & body if you want advice.

People can be horrible OP. Your new hair is quite probably beautiful and people aren't commenting through sheer jealousy.

You've made a change that they see as an improvement and can't bear to compliment you because it makes them feel more sh*t about themselves.

I'm guessing if you've gone to a warm brunette from silver grey it's added warmth to your face. They won't like this. Walk round head held high with a smile on your face because you KNOW it looks nice.

I don't tend to mention people's personal appearance. I don't think it's anyone else's place to comment on how someone else looks

Yes I want people to comment that others are jealous of a look they could easily achieve (if they wanted but I’m an ugly dog on this thread so highly unlikely)

There’s a vast difference getting negative and positive commenting.

Going against the grain but I'm surprised no one noticed. I had my hair cut shorter and got loads of comments from friends and colleagues and we're only talking a couple of inches.

There are reasons that no one commented.

People have suggested them.

Were you hoping people would suggest that they haven't commented because they are jealous?

Also you say negative commenting, but no one has said anything

As an older person, I do not understand this 'look at meee, me, me' neediness and/or validation required by some people, particularly from their work colleagues or internet strangers (helpful tough MNs are!).
As a PP said, most people, even OHs don't notice even major changes in appearance. Mostly, wanting someonecto notice is just wanting validation for a decision executed rather than being confident enough to own it

Yes I want people to comment that others are jealous of a look they could easily achieve

This is this sarcasm?

I mean people really aren't jealous of brunette hair extensions are they?

So you want people to validate your beliefs that because you've bought probably forcibly removed hair from vulnerable people... they're jealous of you?! @worriert

Surely people just do notice a massive change?
Commenting is more of a social convention, so I’d expect at least a few to do so.
Contrary to what @AloneLike has said, this has even happened while I’ve been middle aged - and even for non drastic changes…

You should have just come out with it instead of courting and soliciting opinions without the necessary instructions on what the responses should say.

Nobody has said that you're an 'ugly dog' but the fact that you've said that posters here have said this (they haven't) means that you are unable to read and comprehend and it was a waste of time responding.

Go and ask somebody who matters to you - straight out - or don't. I don't care.

God, loads of these responses are just indicative of the poor standards too many women have for their relationships and friendships. Good friends notice when their friends have had their hair done or are wearing a really nice outfit and good friends go out of their way to make their friends feel good about themselves. Every single man I’ve ever been a relationship with has noticed when I’ve changed my appearance and said something positive about it. That so many posters seem baffled by the idea of giving and receiving compliments to and from their friends and partners and seem to think it’s the norm for the men in their lives to care so little about them that they’d not even notice a complete change of hair colour and length is just sad.

Nobody said ‘gush on and on’ for goodness sake. A simple ‘Ooo! New hair! How lovely’ which is noncommittal and not even a lie really - it presumably is lovely to have had a hair change.

OP it sounds like you put a lot of thought into your appearance. Do you use social media?
It's a bit worrying that you seem to feel it necessary that other people comment.

I had a haircut a few weeks ago and nobody commented. I only realise that now that you thread made me think about it.

Is it possible that you seek validation through social media etc and your friends just don't want to comment on your appearance because they're uncomfortable at how important it is to you? I know I had a few friends who were looks - focused and I deliberately would avoid commenting on anything related to their looks to avoid feeding their to my mind unhealthy concern even when they were heavily fishing for it.
That may be off base and it may be that your friends are like me just not observant of looks or avoiding commenting for other reasons.
I hope you don't let this get you down too much.

Well, I didn’t expect the ‘you can’t say anything these days’ crowd on a post about hair…