Fed up of feeling invisible? No one noticed my hair.

[worriert]

Maybe more of a background of never feeling like I looked nice and being the only one in the group not complimented.

I had just below shoulder length silver blonde hair. I did a big change, went brunette and had extensions 20” extensions. Not one single person has said anything. I feel like I must be invisible and just ugly.

Of course you notice what a silly comment ! Sounds like sounds like an "inspirational quote/ affirmation " from Instagram 😳

So many people get offended nowdays over simple things i think some of us just dont say anything anymore.

I think it can be a good thing.
My hair is curly, but not as curly as I would like, if it goes through a flat stage, I get it permed, maybe every 18 months or so,
The first week or so, it's like a cross between a 70s footballer & a poodle, & I feel very self conscious about it.

I had this done again a couple of months ago - Fortunately either no one noticed, or every6ne was too polite to say.

Also this. It's just often safer to keep your mouth shut.

We’d have to see a picture of the back. I cant imagine how you make a short bob look like a convincing natural 20 inches of hair.

It is weird when no-one says anything!

Yes :) . I cut my hair myself a few weeks ago because it's was getting too long and felt like i had no time to go to hairdresser. Just lobbed it off so it was just below shoulder length after watching a video on YouTube. No one said a thing and seems like they didn't notice. Middle age also

Could be the time of the year too. It's a funny time this, people's brain, especially women's are realising Christmas is approaching and plans/purchases need to be made. Others get SAD and feel down and don't notice detail as much

Because normal people would usually notice and comment??

Are you happy with it, OP?

I wouldn't worry about it. Many people just don't comment. Not sure why, it's just who they are, I suppose.

Show us here, if you'd like to, not your face, obvs🙂

Err no? I literally don't notice hair colour or appearance changes at all.
I also never recognise actors in films etc and only remember who people are once I have spoken with them in a meaningful way.

But why so much fucking effort???
Is DH blind? 🙁

OP, please - if you're feeling fragile about it - don't post photos of yourself here. Posters will either lie-faux-praise your hair, or they will genuinely like it, or they will look and not post because they don't like it.

fairycakes1234, normal people both do and don't make personal comments about other people's appearance.

what good is lying to OP going to do? Everyone saying "Oh perhaps they didn't notice..." Drastically changing hair colour and length is nothing like a new style of glasses or losing weight over a long period of time. If people don't notice that then I wonder how they manage to navigate daily life.

Which only leaves the options given. If they are lesser known acquaintances it's very likely they didn't recognise OP BECAUSE the change is so drastic. If they are people she knows fairly well it could be that they feel awkward mentioning it just in case it's something unusual - e.g. cancer treatment meaning loss of hair. But if they are close friends and family by far the most likely explanation is that they have noticed but don't think it's an improvement, so think the nicest thing to do is not to say anything at all. Which is the route I would (and have) taken tbh.

Do you really think it's nicer to lie to a good friend and give the whole "WOW your hair looks AMAZING!" Usually on here the advice is to be honest with good friends whenever possible.

As the pp said having a haircut that doesn't suit you doesn't mean you're ugly. If anything it could be a relief if you have friends who care enough to spare your feelings rather than saying 'God what have you done to yourself!'

Maybe you have face blindness? but most of society does notice what people look like......it's just life

Well, surely that’s because you have face-blindness, rather than because you’re someone who connects with someone’s inner self, and either way, it’s not relevant to the OP unless all her friends are face-blind?

If people don't notice that then I wonder how they manage to navigate daily life.

Perhaps because weight loss, change of glasses, different colour hair is really not that important to many people? Or they just don't make personal comments?

Yet still they manage to 'navigate daily life' just fine.

@FrabjousDays 🙌

I often don’t comment even when I notice. I’m not even sure why I don’t, I just don’t. I wouldn’t read too much into it. I asked a friend if they had dyed their hair recently and another friend said that they hadn’t noticed, sometimes people just don’t. I’m sure you look great!

Or just that you're reading way too much into my comment? Is it really beyond you that certain people don't think of other individuals based on their appearances? Nothing philosophical about it really. Just that personality, but also job function and relationship to others stick in my mind much more.

But yes if someone completely changed their appearance I might not recognise them unless it was in the context of seeing them do something they always do.

It's all too vague, who didn't notice, the milkman, shopkeeper, next door neihjbour, or was it the friends, the mother, husband?

You can call other people bizarre and claim they're making fools of themselves if it suits you to be rude.

I'd notice if someone went from blonde to brunette but unless the change to someone's appearance was drastic I probably wouldn't notice. I probably wouldn't comment unless the person drew it to my attention and asked me if I liked it.

Perhaps some people would. I'd be unlikely to. Never mind - I'm not particularly offended by you considering me abnormal.

It's such a huge change people will definitely have noticed.

Sad to say, they probably think you looked better before so decided to diplomatically say nothing. Same happened the time I cut my own hair and made a complete mess of it - no-one mentioned it until I brought up myself (to laugh at it)

Whereas when I've re-hennaed my hair people have often commented favourably on the new colour.

Could well be a case of 'if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.'

Your male colleagues are most likely to have noticed. But it's sexist to comment...which is actually right as I dislike it when women comment on my appearance even if complementary.
I'm sure your partner has noticed and it's disappointing they haven't said anything. Your friends, well the fact that they never say anything means they aren't that nice

I’m not one to trot out “they’re jealous” normally, but It could just as easily be that the OP looks absolutely stunning and they are actually jealous.