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AIBU?

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To make my son pay

206 replies

SirHisss · 30/11/2024 06:43

For his own coat?

He has lost his at school. The replacement for the one he lost at the beginning of this year.

I can't let him go through the whole winter without a decent coat, so it's not something I can just refuse to replace and let him put up with not having one.

He has been round the whole school/lost property twice and it hasn't turned up so I believe someone has taken it, but it wouldn't have been taken if he hadn't left it at his arse in the first place.

He is always losing things, I feel like banging my head off the wall. I don't know how to get through to him. Jacket, sports equipment, trainers, we are on our third replacement bus pass since term started in September.

He was made to replace the lost sports equipment with his pocket money, and when he loses his bus pass he has to pay his own bus fare whilst we wait on a replacement but it doesn't make a difference.

He is a teenager, tall and broad shouldered so has outgrown kid's sizes - a decent jacket does not come cheap!

He is going to buy an air tag for the next one, which I think is a good idea and he can pay for that himself. It's just so frustrating, I work hard and he has nice, good quality things - this wasn't a flimsy cagoule from Primark and it'll be a significant chunk of my budget to replace it. But clothing him is my responsibility and it feels mean to get him to pay for something essential.

OP posts:
Inmyforties1980 · 02/12/2024 09:57

My son was like that although it was mainly his Oyster card. Lost it about 6 times from Y7-Y10. The last time, I asked him to pay then he never lost again but we were also approaching the end of school term. Since then he's become much better in general. He was recently diagnosed with dyslexia in his final year of uni which contributes to his 'forgetfulness' amongst other things.

MirandaJH · 02/12/2024 17:19

He’s your child. Just buy him a cheap one. Also how do you know it’s not being stolen? He’s probably too embarrassed to tell anyone but him losing stuff so often is a bit odd and unlikely.

SoupDragon · 02/12/2024 17:25

MirandaJH · 02/12/2024 17:19

He’s your child. Just buy him a cheap one. Also how do you know it’s not being stolen? He’s probably too embarrassed to tell anyone but him losing stuff so often is a bit odd and unlikely.

it is neither odd nor unlikely.

MirandaJH · 02/12/2024 17:44

SoupDragon · 02/12/2024 17:25

it is neither odd nor unlikely.

A neurotypical teenager losing large items of important clothing is normal? I know teenagers are irresponsible but it’s not like losing some keys…there’s more to the story here.

GiddyBiscuit · 03/12/2024 15:50

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This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

SirHisss · 03/12/2024 17:21

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This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

He was apologetic and had done his best to retrace his steps/ look for it off his own bat plus thought about extra things that might help stop him losing it again (tracker, different colour so it's easier to spot) without me suggesting anything.

The new one he is grateful for and has promised to take more care (he did promise this the last time though).

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