When a child is born, parents choose the forename and the surname that the child will be known by. It becomes the child's name. All this tosh about the surname reminding the parent of their ex is because the parent associates that name with the XP. It is the child's name!!
If you want to change your child's name because you can't bear how it reminds you of your ex, how do you cope with the characteristics your child shares with your ex? What about their forename? Did you choose that together? Was that your ex's suggestion? Why not change that too? Why do people always want to change the surname?
Is it because you associate the first name as the child's name, but the surname belongs to your ex in your mind?
My mother divorced my father and decided my sister & I were to be 'known as' my step father's surname, since my father would never have agreed to it. When my NI number came through for myself and my sister, we were named on them by our step fathers surname. There were never any deed poll changes. It shouldn't have happened but it did. It has caused me no end of issues, from sorting car insurance to opening bank accounts.
It continues to cause me issues many decades later!
I can't use my driving licence as photo ID for anything really, further education, to vote, I have to get one time codes to verify my car insurance. Those are just a few issues. It crops up regularly!!!
When your birth certificate doesn't match your official name, it causes problems!!
All to be named after a man my mother is long divorced from!!
When I had my DC, I swore I would never change their names. My children have their fathers surname. It is their name! Why would I change it?
My children don't give a shit that they have the same surname as their father. They recognise it as their name!
What is the purpose of changing a name after 8 years? * *
If you had wanted your child to have a different name, the time to decide that was 8 years ago!!