To want to double barrel DD’s surname?

[FestiveGoat]

ExH and I divorced 6 years ago. When DD was born we gave her our (his) surname. After divorce I reverted to my maiden name. DD is now 8 and I want to change her surname from “ExHName” to “ExHName-MyName”

AIBU?

Somewhere else then!

🤣🤣🤣🤦🏻‍♀️

It was Spain sorry!

Alright no need to be a knob, it was a warm southern European country.

(I have been going round telling people it was Italy though, glad I googled)

Nope.

Spaniards have a personal name(s) followed by two surnames – the father's paternal family name and then the mother's paternal family name

Err yes, that’s what I said?

Oh mother’s paternal name, I see.

I prefer my system, which possibly exists nowhere.

If a court permits it it is more likely to be your surname-his surname so you keep his as her last used surname like she has now. Have you suggested this to your x? He may be more comfortable with that.

Odfod

See how arseholery gets out of control quickly. Now..... When you do have a child let's hope you can get a grip of the double barrel nonsense.

If you change your daughters name back to your surname, and she gets married and takes a husband’s name , that means she’s would have had multiple different surnames.

If she applies for a job when she’s older which needs a DBS or security clearance,this will be a pain in the bum as she’ll have to explain the multiple name changes.

No..... I'm neither drunk nor trolling. I'm pointing out why we cannot all have double barrel names. If we did, we would all end up with very long names.

I really don’t think I’m the arsehole here, but okay.

Who knew that double barrelling could be so contentious?

Are you really willing to take your ex to court over this?

Your updates show you have tried to influence your DD by the way, because if having the same surname as "nanny and pops" was so important, you'd have given her that name from day one 🤦‍♀️

They can keep the name they have, add another surname*, take the same surname as their spouse, or create a new surname with spouse. Exactly the same options.

*DC has a child at school who is called something like Joseph Smith-Bloggs Maclethwaite (not the real name).

This.

I feel strongly that women should keep their surnames from birth (unless you really hate your surname for whatever reason, in which case change it asap to something you choose, not just if you get married) and pass on their surnames to their children.
But if you don't do that, you don't get to change your mind about it years down the line and mess around with your child's surname.

My mum changed her surname and mine when she married my stepdad... years later she divorced him 🙄 I wish she had not changed either of our surnames.

I'm not saying you're being an "arsehole". I'm saying double barrel names are arseholery. Which they are......

Somehow the entire population of Spain manages it 🙄

This.

I don’t agree with women automatically taking a husband’s name and I don’t agree that children should automatically take their dad’s name.
But in this case, she is 8. Whose benefit is this for?

This is why I kept my married name - I wanted the same name as my Ds

Translated to “I have zero comeback on this point!”

I’m not the person who posted but at least put a bit of thought into why you disagree. It’s actually an interesting scenario. Ridiculous, but interesting.

Actually I did have a point, which is that it works fine in other countries.

What got me was the repeated use of the word stupid to describe my (actually very sensible) parents, which I thought was very uncalled for, but I suppose is typical of the internet.