To find this off-putting - literacy

[StrawberryDream24]

Started seeing a man (he's mid 40s). Having met him through a sports club (unlike OLD) there was no messaging, other than brief texts, before we started dating.

It's increasingly becoming clear that he has literacy issues

He has not worked in roles that demanded good literacy.

He seems to prefer calling, I'm starting to think the literacy is the main reason why.

Aibu to find this off putting?

Would many people feel the same way?

Just to add that recently he actually got exasperated with me because I couldn't make out when he was saying by text - because of misspelling; he rang me and spoke to me with an exaggerated, slightly exasperated tone. Which made me almost laugh (and not in a good way).

He has good qualities, obviously, or I wouldn't have started seeing him.

Is he dyslexic?

The irony of the 'hood literacy' pre editing made me chuckle.

Thank you.

This isn't (just) grammar, he misspells words I wouldn't consider complicated.

Having a problem with writing wouldn't put me off, but if it bothers you perhaps he isn't the man for you. He may have dyslexia or some other difficulty. Other qualities are more important than an ability to write well.

He's probably dyslexic. You should leave him though as he deserves someone who isn't irritated by him.

Some people have literacy issues through no fault of there own .My husband was dragged up not brought up he has literacy problems but he has always been a hard worker and a good dad and grandad and treated me fantastically.My grandson is severally dyslexic (not his fault ) I do think you are being rather unreasonable having literacy problems dosnt make him a bad guy

Where did I say it made him a bad guy?

I actually purposefully stated he has good qualities.

The Aibu is not "is he a bad guy because he has literacy issues", "it's; Aibu to find this off-putting?".

Sounds like he would be better off without someone like you!

Sounds like he’s not the one for you, OP.
It wouldn’t bother me personally.

This is very unkind.

Of course he was exasperated because you certainly won't be the first person who hasn't been able to understand his text messages.

We're now living in a world where being able to type words clearly, is very important due to the rise of the internet and texting.

Imagine if you struggled to do this OP, would you find it funny?

It depends on the degree of illiteracy tbh . If it's a question of accepting every bit of life admin would be down to me then yes it would bother me . Reading and writing are essential to function these days . If it's poor spelling then no it wouldn't bother me .

No, not on its own. The adults I have known who struggle with literacy have struggled due to dyslexia, or very chaotic childhoods which meant they received little education. Neither of those are the measure of a person.

But how he handles it, possibly. Hard to tell from what you’ve put whether he was being an arse about it or covering up embarrassment.

Ironically it appears to be him who's getting irritated with me for not immediately understanding his misspelled messages.

It would definitely put me off. In fact, it would probably be a dealbreaker.

It would bother me, yeah

Well that's a bit of a silly question really because if everyone here said "YABU", it's not going to change the fact you find it off-putting, is it?

No, I would find it funny.

Nor would I phone the recipient of my message and "explain" what I'd written in a slow, exaggerated, exasperated manner ...as if they are obtuse etc.

You're dating him, you can be put off for any reason you like.

Every one will have things about them that some other people will find to be off putting or a deal breaker. He's not for you, it's fine.

You don't really get the point of opinions/a poll on a forum, do you?

Which is a bit odd for someone who is participating on an opinion poll thread in a forum.

Just ask him if he's dyslexic .

Apologies for the bad guy comment .But if your finding it off putting maybe he’s not for you maybe he is dyslexic maybe he didn’t go to school but surely the good qualities could outweigh this

You're just guessing though.

You have no idea what it's like to have so much difficulty in communicating, therefore you have no idea how you'd react if people have struggled to understand your written words your whole life.

Do you also find people whose speech is hindered hilarious?