To find this off-putting - literacy

[StrawberryDream24]

Started seeing a man (he's mid 40s). Having met him through a sports club (unlike OLD) there was no messaging, other than brief texts, before we started dating.

It's increasingly becoming clear that he has literacy issues

He has not worked in roles that demanded good literacy.

He seems to prefer calling, I'm starting to think the literacy is the main reason why.

Aibu to find this off putting?

Would many people feel the same way?

I would definitely find it off-putting if he is being a twat to you about not understanding what he's written, instead of just saying "Sorry, my spelling isn't great" or letting you know he's dyslexic etc.

I used the word mansplaining because he was explaining something to me that was obvious and did not need explained ...... if his texts had been legible.

He was explaining it as though I was too slow or obtuse to have understood what he was referring, (ignoring the fact that I would have understood perfectly if I could have read his messages).

It was for that reason that I felt it fell within the realm of mansplaining

I have worked with several dyslexic people and currently work regularly for a dyslexic doctor. None of them can "learn" how not to be AFAIK and it is a great handicap to them and a source of embarrassment. We never actually use the word but they do sometimes ask me how to spell things. I don't think checking in a dictionary etc would work because what their eyes see written down is sometimes a quite different spelling from what is actually there.

I don’t think that’s technically mansplaining. But, that really doesn’t matter. It’s still isn’t an acceptable way to speak to you.

I do not like this man. Boo to him. Boo!

It is ironic that the majority of your posts have been edited due to spelling and grammatical errors.

depending on why someone was illiterate I probably wouldn’t date them, I love discussing a good book.

as far as the mansplaining goes I don’t think you understand the definition of what it is.

YANBU. I had a brief attempt at OLD and one of the biggest dealbreakers for me was poor communication. Some of the spelling and grammar from middle aged men was shocking.
I remember getting messages that I had to read several times to try and figure out what on earth they were trying to say.

You're allowed to have any dealbreaker you choose with someone you’re dating. It’s a personal thing.

Anyone else think it's ironic that the OP has made 14 posts on this thread, and had to edit 10 of them? 🤦‍♀️😂

X posted with @Wolfpa!

How is it ironic that a person complaining about lack of care in communicating clearly is trying to improve the clarity of her communication? That seems entirely consistent.

He's not a bad person and you're not unreasonable.

I couldn't date someone who is barely literate anymore than I can tolerate the ridiculous shit that comes out of my nephews' mouths sometimes. I just stare at them blankly until they repeat what they're saying in a sensible manner. I'd probably be mean to do that in a relationship, so it wouldn't be for me. 🤷🏾‍♀️

No I don’t think it is ironic. She is clearly able to see that she had made an error and has corrected it

Wow..some of the posters on here really show a horrible intellectual snobbishness. Being dyslexic does not make you stupid or uneducated. And the irony is you wonder why he is defensive about it when he gets this reaction.

Let’s hope these highly educated women on here who are only looking for a highly educated man never have a dyslexic child

10 out of 14 times? 🤦‍♀️

No, that's definitely ironic 😁

Surely it would be ironic if she didn’t make the corrections and left a load of spelling and grammatical errors in 10 out of her 14 posts?

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I have family in America and they got so pissed with me saying 'huhhh', cos I hadn't a clue what they were on about.

Apparently 'finna' is a replacement for 'gonna'. Makes them sound fully dunce, but 🤷🏾‍♀️.

If she cared that much, she wouldn't have fucked up 10 out of 14 posts in the first place.

1 or 2 maybe but come on, not 10!

Yeah it is a bit wierd how op is posting and then having to edit spelling and gammer afterwards for most of the posts 😂🤣

Thank you!

teach him to voice note - treat it as if its dyslexia and it becomes less of an issue, find ways round it

Post in relationships next time maybe.
Is it just writing or reading as well? I would find it very limiting to be with anyone long term that couldn't read either. General incompatibility. Toss him back.

Depends how much of a big deal it is to you.

My husband was a bit like this to an extent when we met a classic one was “quier” which he followed up with “you know a church quier” he meant choir! I do think he has undiagnosed dyslexia though as he often reads things but says a different word to what is there.

Are you actually for real? 😦

The reaction is asking what he meant. Why would you get defensive about being asked to clarify a message? Would you prefer they just ignored it or guessed at what you meant?

They weren't spelling errors.

You don't seriously think most errors on this forum are spelling errors (due to the poster not knowing how to spell that word correctly), do you?

I don't assume that, I have to wonder why you do.