Neighbour won’t change Wi-Fi password

[bluestoneboys]

Backstory - I get on pretty well with my neighbour, kids same age etc and my son used to go to school with them and loves to go over and hang out on occasion, while he was over there, neighbour let him use the Wi-Fi and he memorised the password (they know his history etc and that he has a brain like a sponge and a photographic memory)
now I can’t keep him off the Wi-Fi (at home he’s only ever had access to my personal hotspot so that I can completely limit access)
eventually I plan on getting him an iPad (probably for Christmas) so that I can download apps that can keep him safe as he’s permanently screaming at me when I say no YouTube etc as I don’t think it is appropriate for an 8yo
Now I’ve sussed out that he’s been hooked up to her Wi-Fi for about 2 weeks and has been sneaking time on his laptop overnight which fills me with anxiety about what he’s possibly doing on there. But she’s said she can’t change the password as that is too complicated etc
obv I know he’s my responsibility but given everything else he’s got going on and neighbour is aware I found it quite odd that she couldn’t change it in an effort to 1) stop him freeloading off her and 2) keep him safe
as of today I’ve now removed his laptop from him completely as it’s the only option I have currently to stop him, but he’s been flat out screaming and shouting for an hour now because his laptop is ‘very special’ to him as it’s where he stores all his work for homeschooling and also pictures of his pets (especially ones who have died) and he can get quite sentimental and sees this as a bit of an attack from me now
AIBU to ask her to change it to something he doesn’t know or was I out of line?

Of course YABU! You can't expect the neighbour to change their internet password because you can't keep your son off it.

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Yep YABU. She doesn’t have to change her wifi password just because you tell her to, he’s your child.

YABU, your son and his laptop are your responsibility, not your neighbours.

Are you serious?! I can't believe you even asked her to do that. How about you parent your child and take his devices off him and give him consequences for 'screaming' at you! Good god

Surely just limit access to his laptop? Why would he need that in his room overnight anyway? I'd start there @bluestoneboys

On windows you can block a WiFi network on a device, may take a bit of research but the burden of doing this should be on you, not your neighbour.

Is your son nd? Just the way you’re talk8ng about him saying his laptop is special to him etc? Or is he just being a brat?

You weren't unreasonable to ask. And personally I think your neighbour was mad for giving out the WiFi password. We never gave it to our son, let alone his friends!

Can you offer to sort out the change yourself if she finds it too complicated?

Remove devices from him that access the internet. Nothing on his room at night. Limit screen time and remove devices/power cables etc. Offer other activities.

He needs to understand boundaries and have structured time with his laptop. Despite the screaming, that wouldn’t achieve anything. 8 is old enough to understand this.

If we change our password we have to go and take down the ring camera and reset it via the button and redo the million devices. Am I doing that for a neighbours kid stealing my internet? No

However if you can give me the device name I’ll ban it from my router.

It would be nice if her to change it but you can’t force her.

I would allow DS access to the laptop but only in family rooms so you can see what he’s doing. And let him know you will be checking his search history so if he goes online you will find out. You could also explain to him that technically using someone else’s WiFi is stealing?

This is your problem to solve not your neighbours. I’d be taking the laptop and the more he screamed the longer it would remain away from him. Parent your son and teach him about consequences tk bad behaviour.

Sorry OP but every bloody device in this house is connected to the wifi. I'd not be keen on spending an hour or so reconnecting everything with a different password either.

Plus, I am rather attached to my SSID and password, having moved them with me to every home for the last 15 years.

It'd probably be a No from me too.

He’s 8 years old. He shouldn’t be shouting and screaming for his laptop at nearly 9pm and I’d tell him if he doesn’t shut up he won’t be getting his laptop back for the rest of the week.

It wouldn't bother me at all if a neighbour asked me to do this to protect their child. It's not a big deal.

I'd restrict access to his electronic devices though and definitely have none in the bedroom overnight.

You’re definitely being unreasonable. You can’t delegate parenting to your neighbour. It’s also not that easy to change the password.

I would ask her to ban the device name, and then help your ds work through all this rage .
It sounds like he feels very dependant on the device already

You are being wildly unreasonable. She is not responsible for parenting your child. The easy solution is for the password to be changed but that doesn’t tackle the root issue, which is his dependence on the laptop. It’ll be a rough few days but stick at it, spend some time with him, play games in the evening or whatever. He can have the laptop and home WiFi when you allow. That’s not your neighbours job.

Changing the password is such a pain as you then have to go through every single devise to to log them into the new password which is a massive undertaking once you realise how many smart devises you have. So I really don’t blame her.

you need to parent your child. Lock devises up if needed.

if you really can’t be arsed get your neighbour a big present and ask her if she can block his devise specifically from her WiFi.

Does Familylink work with laptops. You can control what he accesses, timings and void access when needed.

@bluestoneboys
What?! Pay for your own wifi & parent your child .
Neither are your neighbours responsibility

This!! Absolutely bonkers to expect your neighbours to do this rather than parent your child! Is he fully homeschooled?

If this isn't a wind up, you need to put better controls in place, especially if he's only 8 i.e. take his laptop off him before bed / restrict his time on it, restrict what he can access and put downtime on it. You can also override the wifi and forget your neighbours wifi network so it's not findable

If you can't control the access now, I wouldn't be thinking about getting him a laptop. I'd also be educating myself on proper parental controls and usage.

Expecting your neighbour to change it is taking the piss and devolving yourself of any responsibility.

Remove his devices and put him into school.

Sorry op but you want to inconvenience your neighbour as you can't parent your son! Why don't you just take the laptop out of his room at a certain time, if he screams, so be it!

Come on you know you are being totally unreasonable 😂