Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Caused a scene in a cafe today. Now wondering if we were unreasonable

744 replies

pennytoffees · 26/11/2024 21:20

I'll start off by saying I'm welsh, born and bred and speak the language as does my entire family.

We visited (my mother and I) a local cafe today and had such an awful experience. We haven't been there in years but don't remember it being that bad. We don't sound welsh and spoke to them in English so they obviously assumed that we were tourists. They were very cold towards us.

Anyway, we placed our order and another staff member brought the food over to us. We asked for some sauces to which she replied "go and ask her" and then pointed to the woman at the till. There was a queue and we didn't want the food to go cold so asked her if she could get us some. She gave me a filthy look but reluctantly handed them over. I just want to add that at no point did she say that the sauces cost extra so we just presumed that they were free like most cafes/restaurants. It turns out that they weren't (to be honest I think it's pretty greedy charging customers for sachets of sauce when they've spent £14 on a meal and I don't know any other local businesses that do it but thats another argument). We would have paid with no issues had she explained that to us.

The main issue is that she came over to a couple sat behind us and started talking about us in Welsh thinking that we didn't understand. Funnily enough they asked for some sauces and she gave them for free but when we asked it was an issue. The only difference is they were clearly locals. At this point we'd had enough so I asked to speak with the manager and she asked me "why, is there a problem?". I said "yes but I'm not discussing it with you". Anyway, he came over and I explained what had happened. She was on the other side of the counter and came over and said "I'm sorry, I wasn't talking about you". She wasn't close enough to hear us talking so obviously knew what she had done wrong and was just trying to cover her tracks.

He apologised and we left it at that, didn't even finish our food as we felt so uncomfortable. To be honest I don't think he knew what to do but after reading the reviews online, it's clearly a regular occurrence and he doesn't care how his staff behaves or treats customers. It was embarrassing as everyone was looking at us. We don't like confrontation or causing trouble but felt we had to confront her. I believe we would have been treated differently had they known we were welsh. I was actually embarrassed to be welsh to be honest. They forget it's the tourists keeping them in business.

AIBU? Would you have confronted her or just walked away?

OP posts:
Nc546888 · 26/11/2024 21:22

Hmmm. I think they are out of order but if it had been me and I overheard them talking about me in Welsh, I would have said very very loudly in Welsh ‘we can hear you, you know!!!’ And I wouldn’t have got managers involved etc that would have been enough for me and I would have eaten all my food and not felt pressured to leave early

despairnow · 26/11/2024 21:24

I would have definitely burst into Welsh and called her over in Welsh to clarify about the sauces or something!! Would have been hilarious to see her face

Birdscratch · 26/11/2024 21:24

North Wales?

Bridgetomalley · 26/11/2024 21:24

I definitely think I would have said something to her in Welsh when she was discussing you with the other customers.
And then I would also have complained to the manager
I hope you have left a review of the business detailing what happened.

KeepScrapingBy · 26/11/2024 21:24

I hate it when they charge extra for sauces! That sounds like terrible customer service.

3CustardCreams · 26/11/2024 21:24

Yanbu. Leave a scathing online review.

pennytoffees · 26/11/2024 21:25

@Nc546888 sorry, forgot to add that we said "we can hear you" but she'd walked off by that point and we don't think she heard us.

OP posts:
Bridgetomalley · 26/11/2024 21:26

KeepScrapingBy · 26/11/2024 21:24

I hate it when they charge extra for sauces! That sounds like terrible customer service.

Even worse when they charge some customers for them and not others!

RamblasTapas · 26/11/2024 21:26

When she started talking about me in Welsh I would have started loudly talking to my mother in Welsh!

pennytoffees · 26/11/2024 21:26

@Birdscratch indeed! The cafe was in Anglesey and we are from Conwy.

OP posts:
Gymmum82 · 26/11/2024 21:27

I would have either turned round and spoken to her in Welsh or started talking to my mother very loudly in Welsh so she could hear.
The scenario doesn’t surprise me though, I live very close to north wales border and the Welsh are so rude and unpleasant to the English/tourists.

BaklavaRocks · 26/11/2024 21:28

I love Wales but I have encountered similar in the past. My step dad is Welsh (very Welsh) and when I used to visit his home town etc.. which was in a very Welsh part of North Wales, if he wasn't with me and I went in a shop or bar or something, I'd get evil looks and people talking about me and people being rude. Some Welsh people really don't like the English or tourists. Which is sad.

PotholesAnonymous · 26/11/2024 21:28

The English get treated with contempt by most other nationalities I find.

We're not very much liked.

3CustardCreams · 26/11/2024 21:31

Americans like us a bit no?

Letmegohome · 26/11/2024 21:31

I was "talked about" at an Indian wedding, by some charming gentlemen who were part of the catering team , in Hindi. They were most surprised when I bollocked them in Hindi , I'm white and vaguely northern.
Some ppl are just dicks.

Birdscratch · 26/11/2024 21:33

I’m from the NW of England. North Wales has always had that reputation. People switching to Welsh if an English person walks in. We just avoid it - we know when we’re not welcome! I’ve only ever driven through Wales!

booksunderthebed · 26/11/2024 21:34

I travel through Angelsey all the time on the way from Ireland to England, have never noticed that. Also went on holiday in North Wales a few times. People always seem fine. Maybe they don't mind ferry passengers?

My parents lived in North Wales in the 60s and tried learning welsh but just got made fun of by the locals for doing so!

starrymidnight · 26/11/2024 21:34

3CustardCreams · 26/11/2024 21:31

Americans like us a bit no?

That’s not necessarily a compliment.

Coffeecakelatte · 26/11/2024 21:37

@3CustardCreams If you're from London, or part of the Royal family. 😂

KimberleyClark · 26/11/2024 21:39

Why didn ‘t you speak to them in Welsh to start with if you are able to?

KimberleyClark · 26/11/2024 21:40

Birdscratch · 26/11/2024 21:33

I’m from the NW of England. North Wales has always had that reputation. People switching to Welsh if an English person walks in. We just avoid it - we know when we’re not welcome! I’ve only ever driven through Wales!

Yes, like they can tell people are English just by looking at them…..

Dreamerinme · 26/11/2024 21:41

I think I would have let her talk for a bit about you and then say something to her in Welsh and watch her face drop.

A White British friend speaks fluent Japanese as she was brought up in Japan but came to the UK as an adult to live. She told me that one day here she overheard two Japanese women slagging off British people and everything about the UK; she listened to them talk for a while and then said to them, in Japanese, that “if they really didn’t like England and it’s people then perhaps they should return to Japan.” She said they nearly died of mortification and picked up their bags and literally ran off. You never know who can speak what language.

Birdscratch · 26/11/2024 21:44

KimberleyClark · 26/11/2024 21:40

Yes, like they can tell people are English just by looking at them…..

Generally people speak to request service in bars or restaurants, so you can hear their accent. Mime is dying out in the food service industry.

TheOccupier · 26/11/2024 21:44

Frankly it doesn't sound like you caused enough of a scene. I'd have been telling that rude woman about herself (in Welsh) until I'd reduced her to tears.

MumOfOneAllAlone · 26/11/2024 21:45

This wasn't a scene, op, but she bloody well deserved one!