Caused a scene in a cafe today. Now wondering if we were unreasonable

[pennytoffees]

I'll start off by saying I'm welsh, born and bred and speak the language as does my entire family.

We visited (my mother and I) a local cafe today and had such an awful experience. We haven't been there in years but don't remember it being that bad. We don't sound welsh and spoke to them in English so they obviously assumed that we were tourists. They were very cold towards us.

Anyway, we placed our order and another staff member brought the food over to us. We asked for some sauces to which she replied "go and ask her" and then pointed to the woman at the till. There was a queue and we didn't want the food to go cold so asked her if she could get us some. She gave me a filthy look but reluctantly handed them over. I just want to add that at no point did she say that the sauces cost extra so we just presumed that they were free like most cafes/restaurants. It turns out that they weren't (to be honest I think it's pretty greedy charging customers for sachets of sauce when they've spent £14 on a meal and I don't know any other local businesses that do it but thats another argument). We would have paid with no issues had she explained that to us.

The main issue is that she came over to a couple sat behind us and started talking about us in Welsh thinking that we didn't understand. Funnily enough they asked for some sauces and she gave them for free but when we asked it was an issue. The only difference is they were clearly locals. At this point we'd had enough so I asked to speak with the manager and she asked me "why, is there a problem?". I said "yes but I'm not discussing it with you". Anyway, he came over and I explained what had happened. She was on the other side of the counter and came over and said "I'm sorry, I wasn't talking about you". She wasn't close enough to hear us talking so obviously knew what she had done wrong and was just trying to cover her tracks.

He apologised and we left it at that, didn't even finish our food as we felt so uncomfortable. To be honest I don't think he knew what to do but after reading the reviews online, it's clearly a regular occurrence and he doesn't care how his staff behaves or treats customers. It was embarrassing as everyone was looking at us. We don't like confrontation or causing trouble but felt we had to confront her. I believe we would have been treated differently had they known we were welsh. I was actually embarrassed to be welsh to be honest. They forget it's the tourists keeping them in business.

AIBU? Would you have confronted her or just walked away?

@TheWonderhorse yes, I agree with all of that.

Hopefully, at some point you'll realise that saying "the majority are Welsh first language" and then saying "English for those in NW Wales is a second language" is contradictory.

Of course some/many/most North Walians have Welsh as a first language. That doesn't mean the OP does.

The op was making up fairytales, ones you realise that then the reality of what I’m saying will possibly make sense to you.

... saying "the majority are Welsh first language" and then saying "English for those in NW Wales is a second language" is contradictory.
@MasterBeth , in what way is it contradictory?

@WomanFromTheNorth I don't understand this antipathy to the English in both Scotland and Wales. If anyone from these nations chose to make their home in England they are made very welcome but not vice versa. I'm from Liverpool and every St David's Day we used to wear traditional Welsh hats. Our neighbours used to call their grandparents nain and taid. I am a mixture of Liverpool Welsh, Scots Irish Scottish and Irish with a small helping of English.

Having spent a lot of time in both places, I used to be married to a Scot, I don’t believe there is as much antipathy as some would like us to believe. In Wales, Scotland, or anywhere else for that matter.

There isn’t! Where I’m from we had a lot of visitors from Liverpool and Manchester, absolutely no issue and you’re more than welcome as we often share a history across the border. The issue comes from the some who refuse to recognise that the UK is a collective of individual countries come together, not England and Associates. It’s lovely to hear that people from Liverpool dressed up for St David’s day.

I won’t disagree that England wouldn’t show discontent towards the Welsh in general. Other people though… I have Jewish ancestry (though not religious) and I’ve been told ‘Hitler had the right idea’ and ‘that’s disgusting’ by some English people who I’ve told. I don’t judge all English people by it though. Some simple minded folk wherever you go.

I don't understand how you can make such ridiculous sweeping statements, but you're not alone in this cesspit of a thread so make yourself at home!

Anyone else fancy drawing this thread to a respectful end?

This thread does not represent the attitudes of my social group and real life; which is a mixture of Welsh, (fluent speakers and non-Welsh speakers,) English, German, French and Jamaican, (the latter of which is a fluent Welsh speaker.) We embrace our cultural differences, swapping recipes, language, cultural trends and humour. It’s truly beautiful.

To every person in this thread who has felt a moment of exclusion through not understanding a language others are speaking; consider the people who have hurt you in your first language. I have been offended in both English and Welsh; similarly, I have been supported and encouraged in both languages. It’s the nature of the person that distinguishes those moments, not their nationality.

Multiculturalism encourages an open-minded attitude, dispels stereotypes and celebrates our differences. Who would like to turn this thread into something positive and encouraging?

Liverpool is often referred to as the capital of North Wales.

Because there are plenty of "those in NW Wales" for whom the second statement is not true.

It was. Not any more.

We spend a week on the Llyn peninsular for a week in the summer visiting family. It would be easy to believe it is a suburb of Liverpool if you didn’t know otherwise.

Interesting. The Liverpool suburbs must be nicer than I thought...

Some Liverpool suburbs are nice, but I think the pp was referring to the accent.

I was.

Yeah don't be sarcastic. People do get upset about this stuff & you're just being embarrassing by implying it doesn't happen.

Would that be ok to do on here? I don't want to say the name but llandysul is pretty small, it's absolutely not the Italian cafe they're lovely in there, there's then only one gift shop that's also a café on the same street. That one is very "you aren't local are you?" vibe

Is this just a clever marketing ruse by the cafe?