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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dad going to Disneyland without his son

334 replies

Maria1979 · 25/11/2024 08:24

Just a rant really about how heartless some men people are. A couple (in their forties with an 8 year old son) I know broke up two years ago. Man had found a younger model (25, blonde, curvy bimbo). I am not close friends with woman but we meet regularly (friend's friend). I run into the man and his bimbo often (she does seem really sweet and kind but not alot brain activity going on). Man has his son 2 week-ends per month and he always complains about how his ex is ruining him financially (I see him often so I don't want a conflict I just say that children are expensive and leave it there). Well today he said he's going to Disneyland during the christmas holidays.I said that "Ben" must be thrilled. That's when he goes "Oh, no we're not taking him. I'm sick of just thinking about everryone else. I already took him with ex when he was younger. This time me and "Bimbo" are going to just have fun. But don't tell Ben or ex. Haha". Bimbo giggling beside him. I went numb. I couldn't find any words. How can you be so utterly selfish it's beyond me. And how a man in his forties can enjoy Disbeyland is beyond me but that's another issue.
I don't want to tell the woman because it's none of my business and also because it's just so bloody hurtful.
AIBU not telling her?

OP posts:
DoreenonTill8 · 25/11/2024 08:25

'Bimbo' usage just makes you look ridiculous.
Why so invested in 'friend of friend'?

HeadacheEarthquake · 25/11/2024 08:26

"Bimbo" ?

What is wrong with you

Cornettoninja · 25/11/2024 08:27

I think you should probably wind your neck in generally tbh.

i would be fascinated to hear this ‘bimbos’ assessment of you tbh.

Catza · 25/11/2024 08:28

I fail to see a problem, to be honest. It’s fine for a parent to have experiences without a child every now and again.

DaftyLass · 25/11/2024 08:28

What does the woman's hair colour or body shape have to do with anything?

Screamingabdabz · 25/11/2024 08:29

Sweet and kind but still needs to be stereotyped as a bimbo? Mmm.

Marblesbackagain · 25/11/2024 08:30

Stop judgement of the girlfriend. YABU with that!

Yanbu of him being a shit dad 🤷‍♀️

whatwouldlilacerullodo · 25/11/2024 08:30

I would tell the ex wife. If he didn't want her to know, he shouldn't have told you.

SoNiceToComeHomeTo · 25/11/2024 08:31

Strange nowadays to hear women speaking of other women in such a misogynistic way.

getthosetitsup · 25/11/2024 08:31

YANBU about the rubbish parenting of the dad.

YABU with the "bimbo" name calling.

WinkingJadeEye · 25/11/2024 08:32

Catza · 25/11/2024 08:28

I fail to see a problem, to be honest. It’s fine for a parent to have experiences without a child every now and again.

This was exactly my thoughts when I read the OP. I don't see a problem here. Perhaps this is like a "honeymoon" type holiday in a new relationship. I do realise it's tough on the kid with his parents having split up. But he has been to Disneyland before he is hardly deprived, is he.

Firawla · 25/11/2024 08:34

It’s fine actually and you seem like a jealous and sour person. He can do whatever he wants? It’s not a problem for adults to do things on their own, I’m sure he gives other experiences to the boy and he mentioned he’s already taken him to that exact place before? in my eyes this is one of those things that is no big deal

2chocolateoranges · 25/11/2024 08:35

YABU using the term bimbo! Ridiculous.

parents can go on holiday without their children.
ds has already been to Disneyland so I don’t see a problem.

HeadacheEarthquake · 25/11/2024 08:35

You went numb? Hmm

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 25/11/2024 08:36

Of course ita fine for parents to do things without their kids. But Disney is such a kid centric thing, it's the Christmas holidays...if his child found out he had gone without him, he is likely to be absolutely gutted. And 'being sick of thinking about everyone else'. Imagine being so sick of thinking about your own kid at Christmas. I wouldn't tell the mum, what's it going to achieve other than make her feel like shit

DustyLee123 · 25/11/2024 08:37

When I was a kid, my dad took his new family away every year without me, usually to Florida. I went to Butlins once.

CamillaCanterbaum · 25/11/2024 08:37

Good God I assume your a woman? And referring to another woman as a bimbo!? Why is how she looks or her age got anything to do with anything here??

In regards to your post- so divorced dad goes on a trip with new partner, seems fine to me. Is there a list of places we cannot go without our kids? Maybe she is really into Disney, or Christmas, and doesn't want a trip with her partners son. Which is absolutely fine

Is the child supported loved and happy? Those are the biggest points here. Not the fact a father is going a trip without his child. If it was Rome would you feel such hatred? Why or why not?

Maray1967 · 25/11/2024 08:38

getthosetitsup · 25/11/2024 08:31

YANBU about the rubbish parenting of the dad.

YABU with the "bimbo" name calling.

Agreed. Your point stands - without any unpleasant comments about this woman.

betterangels · 25/11/2024 08:39

DaftyLass · 25/11/2024 08:28

What does the woman's hair colour or body shape have to do with anything?

You're not looking great in this, OP. Stay out of other people's business, maybe? The woman isn't even your friend.

And if you went numb at this, you must lead a charmed life.

Maray1967 · 25/11/2024 08:43

I disagree with the previous comments about it being fine for him to go on this trip without his son.

The bloke moans about how much he’s paying for his son - and then goes to Disneyland. Seriously? Surely we all know that is expensive and it seems mean to me to go there and not take DC.

MintTwirl · 25/11/2024 08:43

You lost me at bimbo.
Maybe he is a shit dad, maybe he isn’t, you aren’t close enough with any of them to know what has gone on.

TheYeaSayer · 25/11/2024 08:43

Mind your own business. Parents are entitled to some alone time occasionally, if they take their children away at other times.
Your description of the man’s girlfriend as “bimbo” makes you seem utterly vile. Are you jealous of her?

MermaidMummy06 · 25/11/2024 08:45

You're a bit harsh on the girlfriend. My friend, who was still with her DC father, mentioned going to a place overseas very popular with families. I said 'ooohhhh your DC will love it!' Look of horror - 'Why would I ruin a perfectly good holiday by taking my kids?'. Yes, those words, in front of both our DC. They understood, too. DD kept asking all afternoon if she was coming on the holiday we'd just booked.

They travelled all over & dumped kids on her MIL. Never took them once.

Some people are just sh*t parents, regardless of status.

RightOnTheEdge · 25/11/2024 08:46

You say she is sweet and kind, yet you are very unpleasant about her.
I couldn't get past the bimbo bit of your post tbh.

You need to just mind your own business, they are not even good friends of yours. You must be easily shocked if you "went numb" at this news 🙄

Timeforaglassofwine · 25/11/2024 08:48

If he was paying for her kids to go, then fair enough, he is an arse. If he is just having a holiday with his new gf, then I do think they should be allowed this. As long as he pays at least his obligation in child support, then it doesn't really matter if he complains how much it is, it just makes him look a bit tight.