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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dad going to Disneyland without his son

334 replies

Maria1979 · 25/11/2024 08:24

Just a rant really about how heartless some men people are. A couple (in their forties with an 8 year old son) I know broke up two years ago. Man had found a younger model (25, blonde, curvy bimbo). I am not close friends with woman but we meet regularly (friend's friend). I run into the man and his bimbo often (she does seem really sweet and kind but not alot brain activity going on). Man has his son 2 week-ends per month and he always complains about how his ex is ruining him financially (I see him often so I don't want a conflict I just say that children are expensive and leave it there). Well today he said he's going to Disneyland during the christmas holidays.I said that "Ben" must be thrilled. That's when he goes "Oh, no we're not taking him. I'm sick of just thinking about everryone else. I already took him with ex when he was younger. This time me and "Bimbo" are going to just have fun. But don't tell Ben or ex. Haha". Bimbo giggling beside him. I went numb. I couldn't find any words. How can you be so utterly selfish it's beyond me. And how a man in his forties can enjoy Disbeyland is beyond me but that's another issue.
I don't want to tell the woman because it's none of my business and also because it's just so bloody hurtful.
AIBU not telling her?

OP posts:
namechangetheworld · 26/11/2024 19:03

Fucking hell, all of these holier-than-thou comments about the OP using the word bimbo.

I've seen FAR more offensive comments than 'bimbo' directed at younger models that poster's exDHs have left them for. Where is your female solidarity then?

YANBU OP. A grown man going to Disneyland and leaving his child behind is cruel. It's most children's dream holiday.

Rosscameasdoody · 26/11/2024 19:06

KateDelRick · 26/11/2024 16:49

What utter bilge. You know full well what the usage is.
I don't know if you're male or female but either way you know how the term is used.
You're being offensive about a woman. As has been pointed out. Many, many times.
I'm reminded of another thread and some idiot tried to argue that the N word wasn't offensive because of some usage from 1638.
Racists and misogynists always try to justify themselves.

Typical - she’s realised her mistake after being called out and is backing up so fast she’s practically beeping. In her OP she said that this woman had very little going on in her brain - possibly more insulting than ‘Bimbo’. We all know what she meant, and a half hearted attempt at the origins of the word won’t change that.

Rosscameasdoody · 26/11/2024 19:08

namechangetheworld · 26/11/2024 19:03

Fucking hell, all of these holier-than-thou comments about the OP using the word bimbo.

I've seen FAR more offensive comments than 'bimbo' directed at younger models that poster's exDHs have left them for. Where is your female solidarity then?

YANBU OP. A grown man going to Disneyland and leaving his child behind is cruel. It's most children's dream holiday.

Edited

Female solidarity is in calling out an appalling example of misogyny from one woman to another. And a grown man can make a decision on holidaying anywhere he likes as long as his kids are taken care of. And from the OP’s posts it sounds very much as though they are.

namechangetheworld · 26/11/2024 19:12

Rosscameasdoody · 26/11/2024 19:08

Female solidarity is in calling out an appalling example of misogyny from one woman to another. And a grown man can make a decision on holidaying anywhere he likes as long as his kids are taken care of. And from the OP’s posts it sounds very much as though they are.

Take a look at any thread where the OP's husband has left her for a younger woman and you will see vile misogyny out in full force when speaking about the other woman.

Of course he can go on holiday where he likes. It doesn't make him any less of a shite parent.

OakleyAnnie · 26/11/2024 19:29

Maria1979 · 26/11/2024 06:24

To all the folks who like Disneyland : Ofcourse you're entitled to like whatever you want. For me it's torture but endurable when I see the joy of my kids but each to their own and I'm sure you would be bored by a lot of things I like as well.

For me the bimbo epithet is unisex and I have met some male bimbos as well as female so I don't get the sexist connotation.

I do meet ex frequently even though we're not close and she has been through hell after the divorce fighting for every penny and going through mh problems. My sympathy is clearly with her and not with her ex who cheated on her with younger woman until she found out the hard way and broke it off. A normal father would atleast have the decency to not be stingy with his son. If he'd paid what he owns without trying to stall and whine (he's well off) I wouldn't care if he goes to Hawaï or Disneyland with his new gf. But under the circumstances it's really vile to neglect his son financially while splurging on himself. For those who can't see that, well I hope you never have to go through something similar.

For those who are being vile and agressive: you can disagree with someone without making personal attacks. It really shows your double standards and I understand why some people say that Mn is a hostile place.

‘ you can disagree with someone without making personal attacks’
Oh, the irony!

KateDelRick · 26/11/2024 19:31

Rosscameasdoody · 26/11/2024 19:06

Typical - she’s realised her mistake after being called out and is backing up so fast she’s practically beeping. In her OP she said that this woman had very little going on in her brain - possibly more insulting than ‘Bimbo’. We all know what she meant, and a half hearted attempt at the origins of the word won’t change that.

So the OP claims by Bimbo she meant "an unintelligent brutish man" who is blonde and giggles a lot. What absolute rubbish.

KateDelRick · 26/11/2024 19:31

OakleyAnnie · 26/11/2024 19:29

‘ you can disagree with someone without making personal attacks’
Oh, the irony!

It's actually funny 🤣 🤣!

TheMauveBeaker · 26/11/2024 19:45

I see no problem. I also see that it’s not your business.

BeMintSwan · 26/11/2024 20:22

My father went to Disneyland a couple of times in his 40’s- he did bring me back a Minnie Mouse fridge magnet. 😆
Now he’s 84, and although I wasn’t bought up by him after the age of 4 and he never paid maintenance, I’m still expected to look after him now he has dementia. He has put himself first his whole life.

ChubbyBubbyBoo · 26/11/2024 21:14

BeMintSwan · 26/11/2024 20:22

My father went to Disneyland a couple of times in his 40’s- he did bring me back a Minnie Mouse fridge magnet. 😆
Now he’s 84, and although I wasn’t bought up by him after the age of 4 and he never paid maintenance, I’m still expected to look after him now he has dementia. He has put himself first his whole life.

Don’t look after him then!

Ladymeade · 26/11/2024 21:18

"Bimbo?" Wow - not heard that word since circa 1986......... 🙄

Letmegohome · 26/11/2024 21:19

Ladymeade · 26/11/2024 21:18

"Bimbo?" Wow - not heard that word since circa 1986......... 🙄

Have you read the op's reasoning for using the word bimbo ? 😂🤐

Ladymeade · 26/11/2024 21:22

Letmegohome · 26/11/2024 21:19

Have you read the op's reasoning for using the word bimbo ? 😂🤐

I have now....... 😂

Createausername1970 · 26/11/2024 21:32

For what it's worth DH and myself went to Disneyland a couple of times in our 30/40s before DS came along, we have taken him a few times, and I am now in my 60s and would happily go again with or without DS.

KateDelRick · 26/11/2024 21:37

Ladymeade · 26/11/2024 21:22

I have now....... 😂

"an unintelligent brutish man" 😂

Letmegohome · 26/11/2024 21:45

KateDelRick · 26/11/2024 21:37

"an unintelligent brutish man" 😂

Obvs 🫣😬

Donsyb · 26/11/2024 22:25

I know lots of grown adults who live Disneyland and go without kids 🤷🏼‍♀️

MullersCorner · 27/11/2024 06:23

This “bimbo” who doesn’t have “alot of brain activity”, does she also believe that “alot” and “ofcourse” are actual words?

chargethecat · 27/11/2024 09:29

ByHardyRubyEagle · 26/11/2024 18:00

I can make judgements where I like to and I do think it odd for adults to go on holiday to something that in my view is made specifically for children, or people who have the mental age much younger than their years. Get offended all you like.

Made for children, have you even been to Orlando? On Drinking around the World or Flower and garden festival. Many of their events are not even suitable for kids.

Dutchhouse14 · 27/11/2024 10:06

Marblesbackagain · 25/11/2024 08:30

Stop judgement of the girlfriend. YABU with that!

Yanbu of him being a shit dad 🤷‍♀️

This is a nutshell!
No need to insult the girlfriend, hate it when women attack each other.
It's the dad that's a fault here.
Of course parents can have experiences without their DC but Disneyland isn't one of them imo

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 27/11/2024 10:44

Of course parents can have experiences without their DC but Disneyland isn't one of them imo

Why not? I'm glad DH's children are adults! Mind you, does that mean we should be taking his grandchildren...

chargethecat · 27/11/2024 10:46

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 27/11/2024 10:44

Of course parents can have experiences without their DC but Disneyland isn't one of them imo

Why not? I'm glad DH's children are adults! Mind you, does that mean we should be taking his grandchildren...

Living in a box.. 📦

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 27/11/2024 10:50

chargethecat · 27/11/2024 10:46

Living in a box.. 📦

What? I have no clue what you're saying! I just know it as a catchy song from the 80s!

chargethecat · 27/11/2024 10:55

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 27/11/2024 10:50

What? I have no clue what you're saying! I just know it as a catchy song from the 80s!

So do I as soon as I wrote it. 😂

chargethecat · 27/11/2024 10:59

Actually it’s interesting that Disney is all about Imagination, no matter what age you are.
The people on here that can’t imagine adults wanting to go to Disneyland or World because they wouldn’t, are perhaps the ones that should go! °o°

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