Do you bother to keep in touch with your cousins?

[Allthenameshavegone1972]

Just that really. I really miss the old days of the 70's when we user to have big family parties at my grandparents houses. I have 5 cousins & a few second cousins. We keep in touch on Facebook & that's about it. All of our grandparents are dead, most of the parents are dead too.
I try to initiate a meet up once a year and these always seem to go well. However, none of them ever initiate back. It makes me question whether or not they really want to meet and I think why bother. It seems it's the grandparents are the link that keeps everyone together. Once that link is gone then it all falls apart.

I was close to my cousins growing up, 2 of my cousins on my Mum's side are a similar age to me and lived nearby and we were always together, went to the same primary school etc. When my Aunty remarried and had another child we had holidays together and I always saw them at Christmas and birthdays. I have another much younger cousin on my Mum's side, but I had already left home and had a child of my own by the time he was old enough to remember me. I have 4 cousins about 7-10 years younger than me on my Dad's side, my Grandad used to bring 2 of them round when they stayed over and we always got together at Bonfire Night and Christmas. Nowadays I have my cousins on Facebook and Instagram but we don't get together as often since my Grandparents on both sides passed away.

Yes, on one side - usually see the three of them once a year. On the other side, no - didn’t really have much contact with my DF’s DB and DSis growing up and I was introduced to some first cousins at a funeral. Very strange - when one of my first cousins on my DM’s side was my sole bridesmaid.

pritty much ghosts really, the odd chat now and then but thats about it

Nope. There are many of them (large family) and I live a long way from them. Used to know some when growing up, but you need proximity and contact to keep us relationships. Now I could walk past them in the street and I’d not know who they are. Haven’t seen them in person since the last big funeral (pre Covid) and I didn’t really know who was who then.

I'm very close to my cousins, probably closer than some people are to their siblings. I know this is unusual. But, I only have two cousins and we grew up a few miles apart and went to the same schools and were at all family occasions together. As young adults we'd all go out together regularly.

I've moved away from home but by chance one of them lives about an hour away from where I live now and we meet up regularly with our families throughout the year (I see them more than I see some of my siblings who live further away). I see my other cousin when I go home and we meet up with my siblings who still live at home.

Since my Dad died followed by my Aunt a few months later and there was a huge argument I have become really close to one of my cousins and would be happy if I never saw her brother again. We didn’t really know each other well when we were young but found we had friends in common without realising. We are very different yet really similar and I think my Dad would be so pleased we are in touch regularly. The rest on that side I see at funerals but suspect after the argument me and nice cousin won’t be invited to the next one.

On my Mum’s side I have 2 cousins and am close to one of them. They all live abroad and I’m planning a visit in the spring.

I have 4 cousins on my maternal side.

One who is much older and I think I only met once when I was a kid.

Then my other Uncle had a girl. I only have one specific memory of her and that it chasing each other around the coffee table at their flat when she was about 3 and I was 6.

My Uncle split with my Auntie and we were told never to speak this child's name again as it would upset my Uncle.

I never forgot my cousin and I felt sad for her that she didn't get to see her Dad. She found him as an adult and they reconnected.

He went on to remarry and have two more girls who we saw about 1-2 times a year

I'd love to reconnect with them all and my Uncle but I can't do it until my Mum kicks the bucket as I'm estranged from her and I don't want them to tell her anything about me.

I have one cousin on my mums side. The only one. I would say i am quite close to her. We meet every couple of months for a meal and chat. She's 19 years older than me but has a really young outlook. for her age. We get on really well.
On my dad's side, I have 4 cousins who i see only very, very rarely at funerals etc. Always have a chat with each other then but that's it. They are much nearer me in age but I have far less in common with them. My female cousin on dad's side always says, "Don't be a stranger" etc etc after each family event but then we don't see each other again for another few years after that, until the next family event.

Only with one and his wife and children, and it’s not too often as well

Yes! I’m close to all of my first cousins - one is my best friend and more like a sister to me. We holiday together regularly, spend Christmas/Easters with each other. We are in contact most days by text too.

I really lucked out ❤️

We have a family WhatsApp on my mums side with 6 aunties and uncles and 42 cousins lol surprisingly enough though none of us hate each other and we all post regularly with daft stuff or to make arrangements for us all to meet up

I've got four cousins and I'm not really properly in touch with any of them beyond the odd Facebook post and/or Christmas card. There's no falling out or anything but two of them live overseas and the other two are much older than me and live 200 miles away. Now that our grandparents are dead we don't really see each other at things like golden weddings, birthday parties and funerals any more! However, if we did, we'd happily chat and enjoy each other's company. All four of them are nice people. We just don't really have lives that overlap.

I’m the oldest of 10 cousins, the youngest is in their 30s. Some of them are pretty dreadful. One has borne a grudge against me for over a decade because my having to deal with her fuck up got her into trouble, another married money and adopted a ridiculous fake ‘posh’ persona that massively grinds my gears. A couple are decent, the rest I’m pretty indifferent about. All the grandparents are gone now so I don’t see any of them, and I’m not bothered about that.

Yes. Most of them in various levels.

We do a family holiday every other year which envolves usually 6 cousin/sibling family's.

Other cousins we try to arrange coffee/play dates through out the year.

We also have a cousin night every year around Xmas where generally around 10 of us can make it.

It's nice to see the next generation continuing contact, the older kids 'second cousins' have a WhatsApp group they use very regularly.

Never. we have nothing in common so we'd have nothing to talk about anyway...

I don't have any cousins, but I know my DC don't keep in touch with theirs.

We saw ours occasionally as children mainly at grandmas house. But there was no real connection due to age gaps. I grew up on a diet of Famous Five books and my fave Blyton was Six Cousins at Mistletoe farm so I really craved those relationships. Sad really.

I've not seen any of them since my Grans funeral nearly thirty years ago. They live in the next county but I doubt I'd recognise them now

Yes we have a lovely family WhatsApp where we post photos and news. Just one side of the family though. They are all lovely. X

If they didn't want to meet they wouldn't come - once a year is about right and if they know you always organize it they'll just wait for you - if it's too much for you start a WhatsApp group and ask if someone else can host next time?

Yes, I spent a lot of time with them in my late teens and we were very close.
We live in different countries but I make the effort to visit and keep the closeness going, because family is so important. It isn't always easy now I'm in my 50s but I'm always glad when I manage it.

I kept in touch with my first cousin and her DP as adults until they died in their 60s. I have met one second cousin at a funeral and spoken to another a few times on the phone about funerals being arranged but we have little in common. I have no other living blood kin.

I have zero contact with my 4 first cousins. Three of them, not seen any of them since late GM’s funeral 20 years ago. My aunt died 3 years ago and her husband didn’t bother contacting us to inform of her passing. DM just googled her sister’s name out of curiosity (she has an unusual middle name).

The other cousin, saw at my late DGM’s funeral earlier this year. Never spoke to me.

As my DF says sod the lot of them!

Yet have more contact with my parents cousins.

Im jealous of friends who have cousins who are like family best friends.

Not really.

I sort of keep in contact sporadically with one of the cousins on my Mum's side, but haven't seen or heard from her brother since maybe briefly seeing him in childhood. They are much older and were late teens by the time I was born and not very interested in babies.

There's another one who is older again, the last I heard he had joined an Inuit tribe by marriage. I met him once when I was 10 in Utah.

My paternal cousins I know a little better, despite the fact they live in NZ. We have a rapport on Facebook. They are closer in age to us and their children are around the same ages as ours.

Thank you all for your comments and advice. I never expected so may replies!
It's a good idea for me to be the new matriarch, the new one who brings everyone together. I'm the oldest cousin too, so it seems right 🙂