Do you bother to keep in touch with your cousins?

[Allthenameshavegone1972]

Just that really. I really miss the old days of the 70's when we user to have big family parties at my grandparents houses. I have 5 cousins & a few second cousins. We keep in touch on Facebook & that's about it. All of our grandparents are dead, most of the parents are dead too.
I try to initiate a meet up once a year and these always seem to go well. However, none of them ever initiate back. It makes me question whether or not they really want to meet and I think why bother. It seems it's the grandparents are the link that keeps everyone together. Once that link is gone then it all falls apart.

I feel like with smaller families (fewer siblings), cousins will become relatively more important. My kids know their second cousins and see them sometimes. I never met mine growing up!

I have five cousins, I keep in touch with three who I have a bit more in common with. I do miss the big family get togethers, I think it also becomes tricky as people get older, have kids etc and the numbers become a bit tricky to fit into someone's house.

Yes. I have one that I speak to daily and see regularly on my mum’s side, one on my dad’s side that I talk to a few times a week but rarely see, and a group chat with my favourite cousins on my dad’s side where we chat regularly about general stuff (usually sharing memes or funny vids) and plan to meet up (which inevitably fails, but will eventually go to plan!) Our children all know each other well too. There are other cousins I don’t talk to as regularly, but we’re a big family so that’s expected really.

All my dad's side moves to Australia, but we talk all the time on FB and are close. We are planning a big reunion next Xmas over there. My mum's side I have 17 first cousins. I am close to one particular branch and see them as often as I can but we all have busy lives. I also have 19 second cousins that I see regularly at weddings, christenings etc, and have two or three favourites that I socialise with outside of family gatherings.

Don't see mine often, they're spread around the world with only 1 living in my country and I don't bother with him because he's an absolutely horrible person!! Saw him at a funeral recently and it was just a reminder of how awful he is, couldn't get away from him fast enough!!

I only keep in touch with one and I see her a couple of times a year and email regularly. The other dozen or so - we all dropped each other sort of by mutual consent once grandparents had died and the family focus changed. The one I still see is someone I would have chosen as a friend, we get on well and enjoy hearing eachother's news but have nothing in common with the others. My grandchildren see their cousins but they're all only children which makes a difference (and live locally).

There's only so many people you can keep contact with.

In my experience, relationships with cousins tend to drift off when you and your own siblings form families/have children. The "cousins" that matter become your own children's cousins.

DH has a half of his family where two adult siblings have remained living in parents home and haven't formed households of their own. They are always keen to "get the cousins together" but there just isn't time - DH is trying to make the time to visit his own 2 siblings and their children, plus my siblings and theirs.

I saw my cousins as a child then it became just weddings/funerals. Now we are older we have reconnected and I have a great relationship with a couple of them. It’s great to chat with someone who”gets” your family history.

Most of my Cousins are years older than me. I come from a large blended family half brother & sisters. When my father passed I was very young & his very lucrative business sold, the money disappeared & so did the extravagant parties & 'family' holidays of 30 plus people, that he paid for, then it became obvious we had only seen most of both sides of the family for what they could get. I see a couple of them at odd family gatherings, but most I haven't seen since he died. Mother passed 18 years after Father still very young. I saw a few of my cousins on her side at her funeral, but they just wanted to know if she'd left them anything, so my DH threw them out. Id cross the road to avoid any that are still alive!

We probably meet every other year, most of us are in our 50’s have a what’s App group for birthdays and Christmas. I think it’s natural for it to drop off as the next generation comes through.

My kids have never had the relationship with their cousins that I had with mine, but I think that families spent more time together in those days.
Now I only see one, and the rest I haven’t seen for many years due to family fall outs.

Two cousins on my dad’s side. No. Haven’t seen them since my gran died.

One cousin on my mums side. Yes. See him loads, message loads. Very very close as kids as my mum and her sister saw loads of each other. Love him to pieces and can’t imagine not keeping in touch.

My mum is also very close to her cousin - they are both in their seventies and we saw him regularly growing up. We called his children our cousins although obviously they are second cousins. It’s rippling on down - mine and my sisters children know my second cousins children and like them. Family gatherings are getting bigger and less frequent, and it’s getting harder to explain relationships but we maintain it because we enjoy each other’s company. Also see them outside of big meet ups, just because!

I would struggle to.

I have 16 first cousins. The vast majority of which have two or three children themselves. and most of them have children.

I will pass...

Close to one set of cousins but don’t see them often due to distance but we are all alike. Not interested in the other side in the slightest, one is a lovely person but other’s religious zealots or toxic oddballs. Since my parent died they have made no effort and it’s been a blessing.

I've only got three. I don't ever speak to two as they're up north and we are down south so we've never been close, but I try hard with one because he hasn't got anyone else. It's always me trying, though.

I was asking my gran the other day and she doesn’t even stay in touch with her living siblings never mind her nieces and nephews and only stays in touch with one cousin. My parents have lots of siblings and have always been big on family so had those big family parties as a child. Didn’t see a lot of my cousins through my 20s and early 30s just because we were all busy, but staying a bit more in touch now especially with those who have kids the same age as DD and going to any wider family events that we can. DD won’t have siblings and probably won’t have any cousins but she absolutely adores spending time with her second cousins. Not expecting them to have a close bond when they’re grown up but hopefully she at least vaguely knows them so she has some family out there.

Not really, we're the oldest cousins(our youngest cousin is about 22, the oldest 35, my brother is 52), . My Dad and his brothers have a very close relationship with their cousins(they're like aunts and uncles to us) almost like siblings (my grandmother was an identical twin) but they're all around the same age.

I have 15 first cousins and about 40 second cousins. There's a lot of my first cousins who I don't see at all but we keep in touch on Facebook, others that I have no contact with as I just never really knew them. My dad was the youngest of many children so most the cousins on his side are a lot older than me so we didn't have much of a relationships. My mum, on the other hand, was the oldest and had us quite young so all my cousins on her side are a lot younger than me, but we still have our grandparents with us so I see them all at family gatherings. There are a couple of second cousins who I keep in touch with and see socially once or twice a year.

I have one cousin who is my best friend and I see her frequently. She’s ten years younger than me and lived with us for periods of her childhood so she's much more like a sister to me.

I have 25 cousins, 20 on one side and 5 on the other. On the 20 side I have so many fond memories of playdates with the handful that were around mine and my sibling's ages when visiting grandparents for the school holidays. But now we've grown up we don't speak at all except at the occasional wedding or funeral. It's a shame really as we were quite close when younger but now we don't have anything in common except shared relatives. On the 5 side, I've only seen them a handful of times in my whole life, wouldn't recognise them if I passed them in the street.

My own DC have no cousins at all. I feel sad for DC that they won't get a chance to make the same memories I have, but they don't know any different.

No, I think there are 28 on my waste of space fathers side. There are 9 on my late mothers.

We see probably half of my mother's side regularly, to support an adult with SEN.

My own children have only two cousins, their dads side. They are them maybe twice a year. My friends and their children are probably in that place cousins would be.

Yes. We are in a whatsapp group and I message them individually too. I meet up with them once or twice a year and my children were invited to one cousin's child's birthday party. The only other one witn a child. I have been to all of their weddings etc. We don't live particularly close - about an hour away though so still close. I even keep in touch with one of my mum's cousins (she is no longer here).

Ugh. No thanks. Brexit voting, fen (mentality) dwelling, send em back loving arseholes.
They may be related, but I'd avoid them in the street!

One of my cousins is my best friend and her husband my husbands. I'm still close to her siblings. One of my other cousins on the other side I'm close to and close to his wife and wel meet up maybe a couple of times a year. Don't speak to his sister at all as she lives away and is just strange but chat to his much younger brother online and see him at family things. My other set of cousins I'm not very close to, more of a comment on a pic on social media situation but wouldn't arrange to meet any of them.

Nope, Facebook and funerals is pretty much it.

One of my husband's cousins keeps us all up to date on his side of the family. But she is someone I would have chosen as a friend, not just an in-law, so that is easy.

My grandparents all died relatively young so my cousin relationships largely dropped away from then so I think you're right. I saw a few of my cousins relatively often as children but see none of them now.