Do you bother to keep in touch with your cousins?

[Allthenameshavegone1972]

Just that really. I really miss the old days of the 70's when we user to have big family parties at my grandparents houses. I have 5 cousins & a few second cousins. We keep in touch on Facebook & that's about it. All of our grandparents are dead, most of the parents are dead too.
I try to initiate a meet up once a year and these always seem to go well. However, none of them ever initiate back. It makes me question whether or not they really want to meet and I think why bother. It seems it's the grandparents are the link that keeps everyone together. Once that link is gone then it all falls apart.

Forgot to add that we (my siblings and I) regret that we're not very close to our cousins and that we didn't spend much time with them growing up. It's a bit late to change that now, but we've made sure that our own children are close and we (as a family) get together to celebrate all of the big birthdays and the weddings etc. We also meet up every year at Christmas, without fail. Our children are adults now and I'm anticipating a great-niece or great-nephew in the next year or two .

My mum has 9 siblings all of which are over 60 and they all have kids who have kids so I've not seen many especially the older ones for many years

However there is 4 that I see on a regular (ish) basis and they are in my age bracket and grew up with

Cousins are weird. I have two I really love and stay in contact with, and others I literally wouldn't notice if I never saw them again! I think this is pretty normal tbf. It's not like siblings or parents, where really people try and maintain some level of relationship with them unless they're genuinely awful.

If your cousins turn up to whst you organise though OP, I'm sure it's because they're pleased to go. They might just be rubbish at making arrangements and / or see you as the new "matriarch", or the events as the replacement for wherever you used to meet (for example your grandparents house).

We have a family chat on my Dad's side where we loosely stay in touch.

I keep in touch with 2, the other 31 ( I think, it may be more), I wouldn't know if they ran over me in a bus.

My DH has two aunts with four adult children each. Most live in London or near us in the south east, and we only see them once every few years if there's a big birthday party. All perfectly nice people (although one family is completely different to the other).

In contrast I have no cousins here but three in Australia and four in the US, and I'm very close with one of the Oz ones and very friendly with two of the US ones.

I have 9 first cousins, all on my dad's side. 2 live in the USA and I have only met them once but I am close with some of my other cousins.

I am particularly close to two of them, we all had babies in a 2 month period so spent a lot of time together when the kids were younger.

One cousin organises a big family Xmas meal at a golf club and I love getting together with everybody but could make more of an effort the rest of the year.

My DD and her cousins (one 18 months older and the other 16 months younger) grew up together. We all lived in the same village and spent a lot of time together. There were also times when me and DS and I provided childcare for one another.

I love how close my DD is to her oldest cousin (the younger one is working abroad atm). They talk constantly and generally get together at least every couple of weeks. They still giggle constantly like they did when they were kids.

No. I see them at weddings and funerals. That's it

I don't really anymore, I was always the one trying to make plans to get together and last year I just thought fuck this I'm sick of being the only one to make an effort and barely get any replies. Haven't spoken to most of them all year.

We used to see them at weddings, now it's usually at funerals. I do keep in contact with one via email.

Haven't seen mine in years, they are all older than me and I'm in my late 60s so good chance one or two of them aren't around anymore.
DH is in touch with his but only at big family events which are rare. One of his aunts regularly gives us updates on them though, again due to age, usually health related.

Yes, in touch with quite a few - group chats on both sides of the family plus social media. There are bloody loads of us though and we spent a lot of time together as children. I don’t know how well it will last once our parents’ generation is gone, though hopefully that’s some time off yet.

My kids only have one cousin who is much younger and I feel a bit sad that they’ll miss out on having the connection that my cousins and I had growing up together.

No. Mine all live overseas so we never see each other either.

Mine are much younger- my oldest cousin is 15 years younger than me- and we never lived near to them. I’m occasionally in touch but we’re definitely not close. My DC aren’t really close to their cousins either as the ages and interests/ personalities don’t really match up. When they see each other they get on but they don’t actively stay in touch much.

Yes. I have only 1 first cousin on my Mum's side but about 15 first cousins on my Dad's! The majority of my first cousins have children! I keep in touch with them. I am probably closer to my cousin on my Mum's side. My extended family - aunts, uncles and cousins are all important to me.

My first cousins are all in a different country and I don’t know them very well or have much to do with them. If I had spent more time in that country I might have perhaps got to know them a bit better. I’m friends with some of them on Facebook. My dad’s siblings don’t really get on so I think each set of cousins have little contact with each other despite being in the same country.

My mum used to meet up with her cousins once or twice a year. DH sees his maybe once a year at Christmas when they have a family get-together (his mum was from a big family). We have also been to some of their weddings.

I'm on FB with mine but can't remember the last time I saw them. I'm NC with my mother and sister but I think they have reunions with the wider family. I remove myself from any WhatsApp/messenger groups when they're organising events with each other as it's too traumatic to even see their names flash up on my screen.

I've got a shed load of cousins. The ones were nearer to location wise I'm close with, their kids and my kids (second cousins?) are great mates. The wider ones we see at wedding, funerals, communions, milestone birthdays etc we're not close bit love it when we get together. There's a bond.

On my dad's side there are two cousins and I don't even know where they are.

No, I've only ever had limited contact with them at family events and through my parents - I don't know much about their lives or have much interest in them. Our branch of the family has been treated rather badly by aunts and uncles in terms of burden of grandparent care and share of inheritance, so I have no real respect for them or interest in keeping contact.

On my maternal side yes - there's a lot of us 1st cousins and we're all pretty close (at least us females are) and we have a WhatsApp group as two of us are overseas.

Whenever I'm back in UK we have a big family event and all get together.

In my paternal side my cousins are much closer to my parents age but we stay in touch on Facebook etc. They're all over the world.

I have three.
I really wish I was in contact. One is same age as me.
It's out of my hands though. Haven't seen them for years.

I suppose it's like anyone you play with as a kid - neighbours, parents friends kids, primary school friends. You have the best time together at the time, but the friendship doesn't transfer to adulthood. And then it's actually a bit awkward seeing them. You know everything about them already but you don't really have a rapport.

My aunt told me, my father should never have had kids , you know because he never wanted oh and here's your cheque from your grandma dying , don't expect anything else . So its not really encouraged me to "make memories" with paternal side of the "family"
I didn't take the cheque btw

I have 21 spread over five countries. Not all my age - there's a span of about 30 years (my mother had seven siblings). So I see one a few times a year. They live an hour and a half away. I have a couple who live much closer but I'm not close to them. A couple I'd see if I was in their country. The rest are too far away and/or I'm just not that close to them.

Like you OP I have some great memories of family parties in the 70s! and all my cousins are lovely, but I now only see them at funerals! however, I'm one of 6 kids and my dad was one of 11 so our extended family is just too damn big to keep in touch, other than through Facebook! It's enough to keep in touch with my siblings and their kids.