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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

It's a MIL one - stop me before I say something I'll regret

888 replies

Bounty9 · 20/11/2024 14:15

I'll start out by saying DH and I have been together for 12 years and I had a wonderful relationship with MIL before kids got thrown into the mix.

SIL had her little boy 3.5 years ago and he was the centre of the universe, understandably. We then had DD 1 year later and honestly, she paled in comparison in MIL eyes - there has been obvious favouritism the entire time, and it's been pretty exhausting, ending in quite a big argument last September on a big family holiday, which marked the end of group holidays. But bridges have been rebuilt and we basically stopped doing things as a large group, and encouraged 1:1 time with MIL and DD instead, which was going well, DD adores her.

We decided this year to book a 3 day getaway, me, DH and DD and invite MIL and FIL and pay for them as a thank you for all the holidays they've taken us on over the years. it's a centre parcs break. We are travelling up, staying one full day and then travelling back. It's about a 1.5 hour drive. This has been in the diary since summer, and we all knew the dates.

MIL has text me today to say she has 'unintentionally' double booked and it's DGS nativity play on the only full day we are there, so they are going to drive back for it in the morning, and then come back in the evening - essentially they will be gone for 6 hours. We'd booked a santa visit, lunch etc that and I'm bloody hurt that she couldn't just say no this time.

I know it doesn't matter. DD is going to have the best time, we are going to have lovely family time, but ffs just when you think she can't let you down again.

AIBU to feel upset about this? I haven't replied yet. I want to just say forget it, don't come if you're going to miss half the trip and activities, but DH thinks we should just let them do as they please and not let it spoil our time.

OP posts:
RoseJoker · 27/11/2024 06:31

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Apolloneuro · 27/11/2024 12:17

Just popping in to say I’ve been invited to my granddaughter’s nativity 😂. It’s safe to go as I’m not cancelling long standing arrangements with my other granddaughter to do so!

Goodtogossip · 10/12/2024 15:45

Ask MIL if she'd prefer you to cancel their booking as you feel she'll be missing the most significant part of the trip, your DD seeing Santa & the other activities you've arranged & by the time she gets back your DD will be tired & going to bed soon so it's pointless them going. Explain that it has upset you that they have accepted an invitation to the nativity knowing they already had arrangements booked in with your family & ask how they think it will make their DD feel knowing they chose DGS over her.
whatever happens you & DH enjoy spending quality time with your child & make it as special as you can for her. At the end of the day it's the Grandparents missing out not all of you. Hope you all enjoy the magic & your trip.

godmum56 · 10/12/2024 17:28

Apolloneuro · 27/11/2024 12:17

Just popping in to say I’ve been invited to my granddaughter’s nativity 😂. It’s safe to go as I’m not cancelling long standing arrangements with my other granddaughter to do so!

how is this helpful?

ThePoshUns · 11/12/2024 07:42

I wonder how the trip went?

IAm16StoneHalloween2024 · 11/12/2024 10:09

ThePoshUns · 11/12/2024 07:42

I wonder how the trip went?

Ooh is it today?

Bounty9 · 11/12/2024 13:42

Haha thank you everyone, it is indeed today!! I’ve had some time to stop being so annoyed about it, but to be honest the trip is so magical that it doesn’t even matter that they aren’t here. The Santa visit was amazing! It is still annoying but we paid it no attention and just focused on DD today.

OP posts:
thepariscrimefiles · 11/12/2024 14:00

Bounty9 · 11/12/2024 13:42

Haha thank you everyone, it is indeed today!! I’ve had some time to stop being so annoyed about it, but to be honest the trip is so magical that it doesn’t even matter that they aren’t here. The Santa visit was amazing! It is still annoying but we paid it no attention and just focused on DD today.

I'm so glad that you are all having a wonderful time. It sounds amazing!

Your MIL is the loser here, missing out on witnessing your dd's joy.

maydaymayday1 · 11/12/2024 16:40

When they come back don't ask one question about the nativity.

Iloveacurry · 11/12/2024 18:19

Sounds like your DD is having a lovely time! MIL is missing out.

LushLemonTart · 11/12/2024 19:55

Bounty9 · 11/12/2024 13:42

Haha thank you everyone, it is indeed today!! I’ve had some time to stop being so annoyed about it, but to be honest the trip is so magical that it doesn’t even matter that they aren’t here. The Santa visit was amazing! It is still annoying but we paid it no attention and just focused on DD today.

Glad it's going well 🙂

Apolloneuro · 11/12/2024 20:33

godmum56 · 10/12/2024 17:28

how is this helpful?

It’s a joke! Pretty sure @Bounty9 will take it in the spirit.

crumblingschools · 13/12/2024 07:28

@Bounty9 have in-laws attended any of the trip?

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