Would I be unreasonable to ask people to leave by a certain time on Christmas Day?

[Threetrees745]

Just that really? We are hosting both sets of grandparents and youngest in the house isn't even a year old yet.
I just think by the evening I'll be really tired after a morning of excitement with the kids then cooking and hosting.

Last time we hosted, our parents didn't leave until nearly midnight and it was very much a party atmosphere with lots of alcohol and music on loud after dinner. My social battery definitely doesn't last as long as my husband's and while I enjoyed it, I was glad when they finally left.

I just feel that I would like a more calm, child centric Christmas this year since we have a baby so I was thinking of asking people if they could book taxis home shortly after dinner. I think my parents would be OK with this and I can be honest with them but my in laws are they type to take offence, especially my MIL as she will take it that she isn't wanted at all.

So am I unreasonable to give everyone a "home time"?

Not unreasonable at all. Tell everyone "we'll be putting the baby to bed in an hour, shall we order you Taxi's?"

People do seem to be assuming that their Xmas (telly, snoozing, quiet board games) is also the OP's Xmas, despite her having explained the scenario more than once.

And not everyone has the kind of family where you can just 'chat, chill out'. When DP and I would do Xmas with his folks it was pretty formal, not relaxed at all. We both couldn't wait for some quiet time on the sofa.

I think it'd be a disaster springing that on people on the day, when they're in the party flow and quite likely drunk.
And the OP has said they pre-book taxis.
A message in advance is much less like an ambush. And she can say, 'I know you'll be booking your taxis, so about 7/7.30 would be perfect, as we'll be putting the baby to bed and then it'll give us all time fora bit of a wind-down.'

We've communicated an end time to all sides and ir sees to have went down OK. I just hope people don't think we are spoiling the fun on the actual day.

I'm definitely the most introverted person of the whole extended family and I don't think they understand downtime and decompression after socialising. When we go to visit one side they often insist we stay over night despite only living a short distance away, insisting that we can borrow pj's, toiletries etc and it starts to become embarrassing to refuse. I worry about coming across as rude and cold but I really really prefer and feel more comfortable in my own space and these feelings have intensified since having a baby.

I think a lot of people on this thread don't understand introverts either. We DO enjoy socialising, we love our families but we need a bit of space and peace afterwards and don't want to be in everyone's pockets all the time. However, I don't believe that means we shouldn't host or be social at all as some of the people on this thread have suggested. It's not an all or nothing situation and there needs to be some compromise so ALL personality types (including children) feel comfortable.

Well done, OP, and I hope everyone behaves well on the day!

I totally get the need for space after socialising. The all-or-nothing brigade on here just don't seem able to understand that wanting your own space and time isn't a mortal insult.

I agree with this, I mean it is Christmas Day.....just maybe delegate some jobs so you don't feel that you are doing all the hosting. And crack on with whatever you want to do with the kids in terms of nap, bedtime etc.

It's not the same as having the house to yourself. I wouldn't class myself as particularly introverted, but even I want some downtime after guests leave, particularly if they are rowdy. As PP have pointed out it isn't an all or nothing situation.

Ah yes, I was assuming.
Very impressed at the outcome. Have a great Christmas:)

How old is your step child?
You could choose an appropriate Christmas film, say Hone Alone or similar and say the following to your in laws and parents…
We are very much looking forward to hosting you all for Christmas lunch this year. At 7pm we will be snuggling down to watch ‘insert movie here’ and invite you to bring your slippers to join us for this festive film. Blankets provided for extra cosy movie times.

Then if they want to stay, you still get chilled time, but they may just choose to leave at 7pm.

I’d probably mention in the message to all saying “can’t wait to have you all, so looking forward to celebrating Christmas with little DC, probably look to round up the day by 7pm to pop DC to bed, remember everyone bring a bottle or game to play”
adverts make it feel like we all want to party, and yes, but also when you’re hosting (and have a family), the whole day is knackering. One year I was literally falling asleep by 11am!

Sorry but I think you’ve got two options here. You don’t host or you chill out. I know you’ve got a young baby, but Christmas comes once a year! Most likely your parents and in-laws won’t stay late, as I’m sure they’ll see two tired parents wanting to get to bed , but the same time I wouldn’t be telling people a leave time. You’re in your own home, the baby can be put to bed, you can actually enjoy your day much easier with it being at yours. Say they leave by ten, you two can still have an hour together ( it’s Christmas) but if they don’t, there is always Boxing Day and the days in between. It’s very easy when you’ve got babies to fuss ( I did it!) but realistically he’s one day and just enjoy yourself, I’m sure you’ll find people don’t end up staying silly late anyway! Don’t stress x

What you could do is send out a paper invitation . Maybe it’s your babies first Christmas? I don’t know but if it, use that ad the backdrop or do a theme.

on the invite have a little schedule:

1 pm : arrival and pre dinner drink

2 pm: Christmas meal

3pm: kids gifts

4pm: family games

6:30: coffee and mince pies

7:30: bed time for baby

“We hope you can join us this year”

You set the expectations with your family and he sets them with his. If your mil takes offence then he can suggest she host Christmas and carry’s on the party as long as she likes at her house. Then you can leave when you’re ready.

But it doesn't have to be all or nothing @wints4487
Getting drunk and staying until midnight isn't what I would want guests to do either, and I like a drink and don't have a baby.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with the OP's very reasonable request