Need a hand hold -Part 3

[Imbluedalale]

Hi spoonies , welcome to new thread , thank you so so much for supporting me .

Hi @RaspberryBeretxx , how’s your Monday going? My mum and dad are here they arrived about an hour ago . My mum is fuming on my behalf and said she feels like ringing college herself . My sister is a social worker and is mad as she says it’s a huge safeguarding issue and she said that when she speaks to children in her role they are never allowed to tell them about any abuse that the parent has experienced. Yes ex knows where I am but I have everything locked and my dad has just put all locks on the back gate . Still waiting for call back from domestic abuse team and my MH team xx

Oh bloody hell. What an absolutely monumental cock up from the college.

The thing is, it’s all true and whilst it’s devastating for her, maybe in the end it’s the right thing. Where is your daughter now?

I wonder if it’s a good idea to contact the lovely police officers that picked you up at the station. You never know, they might organise a drive by overnight. Does he know your exact address?

Regarding your youngest, he can’t keep him from you. I know he feels powerful to you, but the law is on your side. Xxx

Still stuck in London 🙃

@Imbluedalale I'm glad your mam and dad are with you.
I have no idea what the vice principal was thinking and your sister is right, it should not have happened
I hope your daughter is OK xx

Hi @Apolloneuro , so sorry to hear you’re still in London. I hope you manage to get home this evening. Sending big hugs. I hope you have your lovely green coat with you to keep you warm.
My daughter has been at college all day and ex is back there and he’s lovingly taken them all out for a meal tonight and shopping so I won’t hear from them this evening. Going to have an early night I think I feel drained today xx

Hi @Munchyseeds2 , she is upset but she’s ok. Ex is throwing money at them all again today so I won’t get a look in. I hope you are ok xx

Glad your mum and dad are there for you and you’ve spoken with your sister too. You need all the support. Big hug. I’m glad your dad has out plenty of locks on but hopefully ex will just try and brazen it out if he knows. It won’t help his case to keep DC if he’s arrested.

My Monday has been ok thanks, just took DS to get his braces tightened and various bits fixed back on (too many hard/chewy sweets I think 🤦🏻‍♀️).

Sending all the vibes to you Laura xx

Thank you @RaspberryBeretxx . I’ve been looking on the college website and I’ve got the principles contact information and the CEO. I’ve looked at the safeguarding complaint process on direct gov for schools too. I’m still unsure what to do with the information tbh as the vice principal has rang me 4 times today and has asked that I don’t take it any further as she’s quite new to the role and she got it wrong. I don’t like telling on people .
Thank you for the hug ❤️
Glad you’ve had a nice day , my 2 eldest have braces and their teeth are turning out lovely wish I had them when I was younger xx

That’s a hard one on whether to take the issue further as it’s not like she can unsay it. But it really was a really bad mistake and if you do take it further they might be able to put better training in place for all staff around issues like this. Maybe just dont stress about whether or not to report for now and sleep on it?

Thats good that your older two have lovely teeth now! I figured it’s good to get it all sorted young. I had braces but only a retainer and not train tracks so my teeth arent quite straight. I wish I’d got the train tracks now!

thinking of you and hope you’re ok. At least your ex should be back in Liverpool tomorrow.

Thank you @RaspberryBeretxx . I will definitely sleep on it and maybe give it a few days to process as I’m still quite angry about it and my mum says you shouldn’t make decisions when your angry.
Good news is my eldest is on his way to see me with his girlfriend as it’s his birthday today , he’s 19. And he just rang me asking if I wanted anything fetching. Also my mum and dad offered to get me a sofa today so I’ve picked a lovely one it’s a creamy colours with 2 large footstools and lots of cushions I’ll add a picture so that’s coming Saturday and getting flooring done tomorrow.
My support worker called me back and she thinks I should definitely make a complaint re the college but I’m going to wait and see how it all is in a few days . I know people makes mistakes, I’ve made plenty and it’s done now so maybe I should just let it go xx

New sofa , forgot to add …

For my penny’s worth re the college, maybe you can raise it as a concern without making it a complaint, if you see what I mean. Sounds like there’s an issue of training for this vice principal required. Unfortunately she has made a serious mistake and that does need addressing, really. It’s naughty of her to put it on you not to take it further.

I do have my green coat and it’s been keeping me warm. No trains today. Fingers crossed for tomorrow.

I tried a different M&S today and they didn’t have our bleeding perfume either 😡

I don't want to spoil your evening with your DS but I've been thinking about your situation for a few hours now.

I've been teaching for 30+ years. I am a Head of Department but I work part time for various reasons. All Heads of Department in my school have several years' experience. People who are on the Senior Leadership Team have not only led departments, they have taken on additional responsibilities too. They have worked for a minimum of 10 years in those roles. All staff, teaching and support staff receive Safeguarding training, updates and refresher sessions several times per academic year. I simply cannot fathom that a Vice Principal, someone very senior in an organisation, can take such a lax attitude to safeguarding or be unaware of its importance. She must have received lots of input over her career, so it baffles me that she can have such a massive lapse in judgment. Asking you not to say anything smacks of her knowing she has messed up monumentally.

I wouldn't do anything this evening other than spend time with your DS, but tomorrow I would want to speak to the Designated Safeguarding Lead (DSL) of the college. You could frame it that you don't especially want to get the VP in trouble, but their knowledge of safeguarding is woeful and they need urgent refresher training. Should it be the case that this VP is also the DSL, go to the local authority. If the college asks what you want to get out of it as a resolution, you could answer "better training and the bus pass". You have nothing to lose by asking.

Agreed @Malbecfan It’s the sort of mistake you’d expect from a new teacher, not SLT.

@Imbluedalale that sofa is beautiful and looks so comfy and not too long to wait!

We went looking to replace an armchair that's about 20 years old at the weekend but we couldn't see anything we like....probably why we've had it for 20 years!😂

Your Mum is very wise isn't she? Sleep on things and see how you feel in a few days, it is a 'mistake' that the VP will never make again for sure

Enjoy time with your lad this evening xx

Hi @Apolloneuro , I’m so sorry to hear there’s no trains again today. What a nightmare! I’m glad you have your lovely green coat with you and it’s keeping you warm. I can’t believe the M&S in London doesn’t sell shay and blue! We need to sort this @Apolloneuro , get writing that email 😂
Your right re vice principal she’s since sent my daughter a very gas lighting message . I didn’t know they was even allowed to send text messages to students. But she’s basically backtracking and saying it wasn’t meant to sound how it did. The problem is that she has asked me several times to not take it any further and she also said she will arrange daughters bus pass first thing tomorrow so it’s sorted but I feel like she’s trying to soften me up to not say anything xx

Hi @Malbecfan , how are you?
You’re not spoiling my evening at all and I really appreciate as much advice re the situation as possible. Son has gone now it was lovely to see him and he liked the house. His girlfriend is lovely and beautiful too. He has to have his hand operated on so I said I’ll be there if it’s ok with him when he’s given a date.
The vice principal is also the safeleading lead at college which is astonishing. My daughter stated several things in the email that I sent to the college that she simply wouldn’t have known and the vice principal on the first few calls kept apologising but on the last call she said she can’t recall speaking to daughter about the violence ??? Well she definitely did because my daughter doesn’t lie and she would have no reason to either. I said to her on the phone ‘you either said it or didn’t say it’ and she said ‘I might of said it but I can’t recall’ . Do you mean go to the council to let them know what’s happened as she’s the safeguarding lead?xx

Evening @Munchyseeds2 ,thank you it’s a lovely sofa and I’m looking forward to it coming.
Is it the fabric on the armchair that needs restoring or the whole chair? You could take it to an antiques furniture workshop there was one in my old village and they restore it back to new looking xx

Oh gosh Laura, just caught up on your thread. What an awful thing for the vice principal to do, a massive breach of GDPR. Hope you are okay?
I agree with @Malbecfan , she may be new to that role, but vice principal jobs are not given to inexperienced people and she would have years of working up to this role so that doesn’t wash as an excuse. She is clearly bricking it because she knows she has cocked up massively.
I feel that you should take it further and ask to speak to the safeguarding lead at the college.
What she did could have huge repercussions for you and possibly your daughter.
Enjoy seeing your son tonight. Sofa is gorgeous, just right for snuggling up on.
@Apolloneuro sorry you haven’t been able to get home. Hope you are able to travel tomorrow.

I am almost speechless that this vice principal has made contact using the school’s intranet in this way. That’s absolutely unacceptable isn’t it @Malbecfan?

If she actually texted your daughter’s personal mobile phone she needs to be in trouble big time.

I once had a lovely lad of about 22 send me a Facebook friend request (I know his mum, so not so random). I taught him when he was 9, so turned it down.

You have to be so, so, so, so careful when dealing with minors or service users. Bloody hell.

Hi @AdmittowearingCrocs , how are you? Good I hope .
I asked the vice principal why on earth she was discussing my broken ribs with my daughter and she said she thought that my daughter would have known the reason for my broken ribs . She didn’t know the reason! My daughter seems upset with me and that’s upsetting me massively.
She is the safeguarding lead because that’s what she put on the text to my daughter as my daughter forwarded me the message xx

I thought that was strange that she’s been texting my daughter but I didn’t know if it was allowed or not in college. It doesn’t say anything regarding that on the college website. She said to daughter on text that what she said wasn’t what she meant and that she has to ask certain questions due to her being the safeguarding lead but my daughters not an idiot and she’s put 2 and 2 together . Daughter said she kept going on about my broken ribs and asked daughter what had happened. I’ve felt sick with worry all day over this xx

Blimey - every update gets worse laura, the stupid woman has messed up big time and she knows it!!
I would be calling the council in the morning and taking it further

I have to agree; I can understand that people make serious mistakes but all this weaselling is really appalling! I definitely agree with whoever said that even if you don’t choose to word it as a complaint, this needs to go further. But I also know you have so much on your plate, so if you do decide to let it go, that’s completely understandable. Your poor daughter, but most of all poor you!

It gets worse- she is the Safeguarding Lead and she is the one who caused the problem. Take it to the Principal then and if no joy, to the education authority.
She should not even have discussed your injuries with your daughter without checking with you how much your daughter knew about your situation. You have worked so hard to hide things from your children then some idiot ruins that.
Sending you big hugs my lovely 🫂