Need a hand hold -Part 3

[Imbluedalale]

Hi spoonies , welcome to new thread , thank you so so much for supporting me .

@spoonfulofmustard I love The Rest is Politics podcast too, it’s always well balanced and interesting, and both of them have really nice voices to listen to. Most times when someone recommends a podcast to me I get annoyed by the presenters or their voices and have to switch it off, but I really like those two.

@Meanwhile33 i find them soothing and diplomatic on things that are terrofying me! i agree that voices make a podcast

Good evening @Meanwhile33 , I have been thinking about you today and wondering how you got on with your meal prepping. So pleased to hear that you’ve had a lovely day and lunch went well. What did you decide on in the end to go with the ham?I bet your shattered now bless you.
I’m glad that young girls of today feel more comfortable talking about periods and stuff I remember feeling really embarrassed when I was a teenager. Also I think when you’re pregnant it would be nice to know about all the other stuff like when breastfeeding doesn’t always go to plan, piles and prolapses . I cant believe a train line have decided not to put toilets on isn’t that classed as discrimination?xx

Oh my word, I'm so sorry for everything your sister, and you all as her family, have been through. I can't imagine how awful that must have been.

Hugs @BeNavyCrab - I hope you are feeling better. There are some nasty bugs going around - I felt right off colour yesterday, although I feel ok today.

I appear to have missed chicken bum lightshades, penis sleeves like spiralizers (OWWWW!), chicken bum lightbulbs, and all sorts! Blimey!!

I looked on the Shay and Blue webpage, and saw that new perfume! And while I was there, would you believe it, five more mini-samples jumped into my basket!! Well, they seemed to want to come live with me, so it would be a shame to disappoint them! I shall keep you updated on them! Amber Rose is continuing to be very pleasant - a subtle version of Black Tulip.

Hi @ChoccieCornflake , how’s your weekend been apart from feeling off yesterday?
lol 😂 your not missing out on the chicken bum light shade believe me .
I too have felt a bit off today , I miss my children mainly I think that’s what it is . I’ve tried to keep busy I made a chilli and had it with rice. My mum got me a jar of lazy chilli and said to just put half a teaspoon in which I did , wow I nearly had to order a new tongue off Amazon. I’m not good with spicy food.
I love that the shay and blue samples jumped into your basket 🤣Which ones did you get? Did you know that for £12.50 a month you can join a subscription with them and you pick a bottle of their perfume every month and you can swap and change. I actually worked it out yesterday to try and rationalise it to myself so here’s my calculation:
12.50 x 12 =150
150 divided by 365 days =0.41
So that means it’s only 41p a day ! Xx

@Imbluedalale Good morning to you and all the spoonies!
@spoonfulofmustard the rest is entertainment has become my favourite podcast. The sheer amount Ive learned on there but interesting facts! Outside of Hedly Thomas from The Australian who has done 2 on missing women with amazing conclusions. I loved Alastair and Rory since day 1 but like you the news got too much and I was sick having middle aged white tell me how it is globally! Even LBC was annoying. Definitely admire the openness on mental health by Alastair.
The Trawl is hilarious and sticks to UK with Jemma Forte and Marina Purkiss. They fell into it due to Brexit dissatisfaction and it's just grown. Worth a wee look. I save them for Sat morning.
@Apolloneuro hoping you got home safe and had a great weekend.
Time to get up and get the tea and pc on. Have a good Monday spoons 😁

Morning to all the spoonies.

Loving the chicken bum lampshade @Imbluedalale 🤣. Great that you’ve got it all up and ready 😁. Also loving your Christmassy windowsill 💕. I have those little Santa/reindeer figures too!

That’s great you’re enjoying the air fryer too, I love mine.

That’s so lovely that your dad is making a big effort to ask you how you are and be more open to mental health stuff. I hadn’t heard that song before but it’s so beautiful 😍. DD listened to it too but just got obsessed with glimpses of the swimming pool and whether she was going to have a swim 🤪.

So sorry yesterday was a bit of an off day - it must still be so hard not to have your children with you. Sending a big hug! Oh and well done with the chilli batch cook.

@spoonfulofmustard I love that you’ve completed first viewing of love actually! Ds and I are halfway through violent night 🙄🤦🏻‍♀️.

@Apolloneuro really hope you get home ok today. That sounds stressful.

I had a sort of conservatory type room knocked down and rebuilt so we were painting that. I’m so happy with it. Went with 2 walls white and 2 green as I wanted it to feel like stepping into the garden 🤣. I have a tiny kitchen so it’s going to be a bit of a utility room/extra bit of kitchen. I’ve got a lot of cleaning and tidying to do today.

Good morning @nornironlady . How are you feeling today? Hope you managed to sleep well. I had the fright of my life last night whilst sleeping. I currently have cardboard covering my windows until I get blinds and during the night I heard a big bang and one of them had fallen off . It didn’t half make a noise .
In definitely going to have a listen at those podcasts. They sound really interesting.
Going to have some breakfast and a cup of tea and then do some more admin for a few hours xx

Good morning @RaspberryBeretxx , how are you? I hope you had a lovely weekend.
I love my windowsill in my kitchen too although I’m looking forward to getting some blinds for it . Got my flooring coming tomorrow so I’m looking forward to that. I’ve been having a few bad dreams last few nights so I think that’s why I feel as I do Aswell as missing my children and knowing I’ll be facing more obstacles when youngest gets back from Liverpool.
My sister got a new air fryer as she’s had her kitchen done I think she got a twin one so she let me have hers. I’ve never been bothered about air fryers before but I definitely get the hype now.
I love Lauren Daigle, she also has another good song called Rescue which is really good.
Awww your dd sounds adorable 🥰
Your conservatory sounds beautiful, can we see pictures once it’s done? I bet the colours look perfect together xx

@Imbluedalale I slept right through till 6am which is almost a lie in for me! It's a little windy here but nothing out of ordinary. My plastic greenhouse and polytunnel have remained mostly in place even if the plastic is torn to shreds! They are just covering pots and a couple of cauliflowers which will probably die off now it's turning frosty. There's always next year. I tried growing everything this year but not much successfully. I enjoy the trying. I'm hoping to get a more sturdy greenhouse for next year and make a better go of it.
@RaspberryBeretxx yes please for a picture if you won't mind, I'd love to see your finished room too!

I love The Rest is Politics! However I have developed a weird crush on AC!!!
Love listening to Rory Stewart. May not agree with him on everything. Do find it odd that we end up with really talented people who end of never leading a party or a country. And that’s not political it happens in all walks of life!
Love their Leading podcasts too they just have a way of getting the best out of people.

OMG I can’t believe I’m writing this . I’m shaking and my tummy is doing somersaults . I sent an email to my daughters college last week regarding getting her an extra bus pass as I phoned the college and they said I needed to put everything in an email explaining everything which I did and I included some details of the DV as one of the reasons for having to flee the property and ex making me homeless . Daughter has just rang me upset as the vice principal of the college has told her I sent an email to them on Friday and has told my daughter about the broken ribs! My daughter is inconsolable now . I’ve just rang the college but vice principal is in a meeting. Why would she tell my daughter all the details of the email? What do I do because now ex is going to know I’ve told people and he’s going to go ballistic?xx

Oh no, that's terrible and very inappropriate for him to do that. Your poor daughter will be so upset to find out like that! It's such a worry because it's now putting her at risk, purely from his reaction to finding out. I wouldn't normally suggest asking a child not to say anything to their parent but do you think she will be able to do that, once she's calmed down?

Ive spoken to the vice principal. I was shouting and crying on the phone to her unfortunately but I was so upset for my daughter. She said she’s extremely sorry and she didn’t think before she spoke and that she should have contacted me first. I’m now petrified of ex finding out because he will then do everything he possibly can to ruin me even more. He doesn’t know I’ve told anyone he thinks ill never say anything because he still has power over me with kids xx

breathe my lovely, you are terrified of what he may do but he can't touch you. your children will have your back and he will NOT ruin you xx he was holding onto you being a coward but you are strong. we are all here for you and will support you no matter what xx

@Imbluedalale

@spoonfulofmustard is right, honestly she is (and I'm sorry that DD found out like this)

Twatface wont like that his secret is out but he now has nothing to keep you quiet and in your place....if he (or any of his mates) do anything physical you call the police lovely xxx

Here for you Laura and praying SO hard. Make sure you can always call the police but hopefully this will all come down on his head

That's awful. Is there any way that you can see her in person today? Go to the college perhaps? Maybe there's a spare office you could sit in with her. I think it's important that you sit down together so you can explain that you were trying to protect her and didn't want to put her in a difficult position. Perhaps she would agree not to say anything to him if you explain your concerns? It might be that she prefers to live with you now, but she doesn't need to tell him that this is the reason.

I know it's really tough, but ultimately it may not be a bad thing her knowing the way that you've been treated and that women do not have to tolerate that sort of behaviour. She has probably taken in a lot more than you realise over the years, and thinks the sort of relationship is normal. In the long run it is important that she understands that what she has witnessed is not a healthy loving relationship so that she learns to expect better for herself.

But I appreciate that this is really not the way that you would have wanted any of this to come out and must be a horrid shock x

Oh I’m so sorry! How absolutely unprofessional of the vice principal to tell your DD! So awful. Can you talk to her about what a sensitive situation it is with her dad and maybe she won’t tell him for now? I know she shouldn’t have to keep that secret but whatever keeps the 2 of you and your younger DS safest is important right now. Also sending lots of love and strength to you.

Don't do anything for now @Imbluedalale apart from breathe.

I can't remember but how old is your DD? I suspect the college might be in deep poo for divulging your information to your DD, so wait it out and see what happens. Realistically, apart from keeping your DC from you, what else can Ex do? Your DD won't see him in any sort of rosy light now. Try not to panic - hopefully Ex will be having too much of a good time in Liverpool to care.

Hi all, sorry I’m only just replying I’ve been trying to get my head around everything from this morning. I didn’t want to tell daughter in a message or on the phone as I wanted to talk to her in person about everything I think that kind of conversation needed to be in person.
The vice principal rang me back and again she said she’s really sorry and that she wasn’t thinking and she shouldn’t have shared the email and its contents with daughter. She said she should have called me first and asked that I give her a chance to rectify it . So during this time I’m texting daughter and consoling her but not saying too much in a message incase ex sees and the vice principal has texted daughter and said she got it wrong and it wasn’t how she worded it just that she has to be extra careful with safeguarding and that I didn’t email her saying anything after all. I’d already told daughter I had sent an email but didn’t disclose its contents so she’s made it even worse now! Ex is currently here in Doncaster as he came back late last night and is staying until tomorrow morning where he will be taking youngest son back with him so he’s here now. I’ve tried ringing my support worker and domestic abuse team but nobody available so left messages to call me back. I’m worried that ex or his mum will turn up as they are both violent and also that this gives my ex more ammo to keep my youngest away from me . I’ve asked my daughter to not say anything just yet but I think she already might have with her being so upset earlier . Vice principal said she knows she’s done wrong and she’s rang me a few times since to apologise xx

She’s just turned 17 xx

Hopefully someone will contact you soon xx

Just checking in and hoping you’re ok @Imbluedalale . I know it must be terrifying. I hope you can speak to your daughter in person and that your ex hasn’t found out. Does he know where you are? Also hoping someone from the domestic abuse team can ring back or your support worker. Have you rung your mum? It might help to have someone to talk to.