It's after 3am and DH isn't back yet, aibu for being annoyed?

[tometoyoutodo]

Yesterday he left home for a Work dinner at 2pm and has texted just once at 6pm. How would you feel?
There's 3 Primary aged DCs at Home with Me.

Did he say when he'd be back? Did you need him back for a specific reason?

It’s not on but try not to worry the big boxing match is on at 4. Imagine he’s been swept up in all of that

I’d be pissed, royally pissed. How would he take it if the situation was reversed? Not well I imagine.

I've woken at 3 and called, he did answer but could barely hold a conversation. I'm thankful he's ok as my first reaction was worry! He doesn't go out often so I'm not sure if my minor annoyance is justified.

Is this a regular occurrence?

is he out enjoying himself?

Do you need him home for a particular reason?

If it's a once in a while thing I'd let it go. I've done it myself occasionally - gone out and found myself losing track of time and getting into the spirit of things more than intended!

If he rarely goes out I’d cut him some slack OP🤷🏼‍♀️

Just go to sleep

This is the second thread like this, what is it you want him to call/txt about?
I never understand this, someone on a night out but expected to keep calling/texting the person at home, it's quite controlling and odd

It's not controlling nor odd. It's fear. Fear that the person you love and is the father/mother of your shared children is lying in the street having been stabbed or beaten, alone in the middle of the night.

Once that worry enters your head, it quickly becomes all consuming. It is a dangerous world and only fools pretend these things don't happen.

I never expect to hear from dh if he's out. I just tune him out. It's a rare occasion and he's out with friends. I never go out much these days but a couple of Christmases ago I was out till 6am, it was great. You are capable of being at home with the kids, you don't need looking after. Just make sure it's your turn soon.

Yes it always amazes me the number of posters on threads like these who don't seem to care that their supposed loved one may have met with an accident and that's why they still aren't home at some ungodly hour.
Imo it is only common decency to send a text or communicate in some way to let your partner know you are OK when you stay out longer than they would reasonably have expected you to.

I think it can be worse as you get older as life is more stressful (the child rearing years) and we go a bit overboard when the opportunity arises, or we simply think we can drink like we used to, when we very definitely can't. I'm probably quite drunk and dancing in a loud venue, I'm not thinking about my dh and dc for those few hours and it's brilliant and necessary.

My DH is a grown up. I would be bloody furious if he texted me at quarter past three in the morning and woke me up for no real reason. He’s out, it’s Saturday morning, let him get on with it.
Unless he does this every weekend, but I guess he doesn’t.

Once off, let it go. His hangover will be mighty today.
If its a pattern then you need to sit down and have a conversation.

Some people have such a low, low bar.
Most of us should want to share our lives with mature, considerate partners that have got their shit together for their beloved children, not rolling around in a gutter somewhere at 3am.

Just go to sleep and leave him to it, he's an adult

Is he home yet? Do you have plans as a family today? What would his reaction be if you did the same thing ?

Life 360

He's gone for a night out, don't you ever leave the house

Not a low bar.

Just understand some people want a good night out every now and again and don't automatically assume if they've gone out like millions of others on a Friday night they are laying in a ditch unlike millions of others as a result.

Yes - things can happen. But you can't avoid life in case they do.

Surely you can have a good night out though and a bit more communication so the other person does not worry e.g at the call at 6pm or before you go let the other person know you might be staying with x overnight so not home until the morning.

Yes I enjoy nights out, but grown ups in thr real world do not get so drunk as to still be out at this time with young children. I wouldn’t stand for it.

A good night out doesn’t equate to this in my book. Very low.standards and expectations breeds poor decisions and behaviour- as there are no consequences. I would not find this attractive in a partnership or a man.

3am isn’t an extraordinary time to be out on a night out? Especially not if he was watching the Tyson fight. Adults are allowed to do fun things too.