It's after 3am and DH isn't back yet, aibu for being annoyed?

[tometoyoutodo]

Yesterday he left home for a Work dinner at 2pm and has texted just once at 6pm. How would you feel?
There's 3 Primary aged DCs at Home with Me.

Where do these AWOL partners actually go after the pubs and restaurants are all shut?
Don't these posters who say they don't care their partner hasn't come home even give a passing thought to where the absent partner is? Who they are with?Who they are spending the night with?

Thanks to those few posters who understand my concern! Especially @Gingerlingerlonger
He got home at 6, woke the entire house up and has now gone off to bed. I've no doubt his hangover will be awful once he wakes up, I on the other hand have a DC football match, tennis & ballet lessons to contend with plus x2 Birthday Parties (DC Friends) this afternoon.
Realised I started this thread in annoyance after a few weeks of real imbalance in our parenting responsibilities, definitely a conversation to be had today.

Fun isn’t getting stinking drunk at 3am like a student! Honestly it’s just grubby and very unappealing. Ditto the fight. Kniuckle draggers.

You sound far too good for this op. Where on earth has he been?? Disgusting behaviour waking everyone up such a poor example to your dc.
I would have put him back outside. Revolting.

It takes 30 seconds to send a text saying that plans have changed.

It is called RESPECT and consideration. Absolutely no excuse for such piss poor behaviour.

Don’t do it then.

You have every right to be angry OP.
Totally selfish irresponsible behaviour.
I wonder if he will remember where he actually was until 6 in the morning because I would certainly be wanting to know.

I’m not going to thanks. It is possible to have a great night out without getting shit faced and disrespectful - you do know that don’t you?? Jesus raise the bar. Be better. Expect better.

They’re at the casino. 9 times out of 10.

There aren’t many places to spend the entire night unless you live in a major city. So I would be hauling his arse out of bed and demanding some answers.

You do seem quite passive op, I don’t think this is helping. He has zero respect for you or the family and life you share.

Hmmm of course they are.

It is called standards and how could
you defend such disrespectful behaviour! It says everything about you and your poor self esteem.

I'm honestly not passive at all, I'm sensible, fiercely independent and my priority will always be my darling DC. I'm not going to have a serious conversation (which would likely turn into an argument) with my drunk DH at 6am when the Children are barely out of their beds. He's home, he's safe and I'll leave him to suffer until he's capable of a proper conversation.
He was at a nightclub with work friends until 4 then waited for a taxi, it was a major city over an hour from our Home. Online banking shows all the transactions of the evening.

Interesting you think im the one with low self esteem when you’re the one convinced everyone’s up to something illicit when they commit the heinous crime of… going on a works night out 😂

Can any of your plans for the DC be got to without driving? I'd tell him to do his share regardless, unless you agreed yesterday that he wouldn’t have to.

You make a " works night out" sound like a church outing.
You must be very naive if you don't know what a " works night out" can involve.
Especially when the partner at home is left totally in the dark as to what is happening.
Just wait until the works Christmas nights out / parties threads start on MN this year. Quite depressing the effects some of these " works night out" have on relationships.

And the one time they arent, they are usually in a lap dance/ strip joint

Once a year my DH went out with the lads from work - usually paid for by work . He was in construction so it was "all lads together " I knew the night was going to get messy and I let him at it

Left the door on the latch and went to bed

He was an adult, He loved me, I trusted him. No problem

The only time it was a problem was when we had moved to Northern Ireland, he was still working in London and the snow arrived and I asked him to forgo the night out and come home, he wanted the night out, and all flights were then cancelled for two days and it was a mad panic to get him home for Christmas

Ask him which party he's dealing with as you can't do both

Make sure you get an equivalent break from the kids on another weekend OP, it's only fair.

I think it's polite to let someone know you're not dead but will be out late. People go missing on nights out. Fall in the water. Get stabbed. End up in hospital. All sorts.

You sound like a barrel of laughs! Going on a night out isn’t disrespectful, although he should’ve let her know he’d be back later than planned. We’re all different - just because it’s not your idea of fun, doesn’t mean it’s wrong.

@MinnieMountain Unfortunately not, I would not be happy with him driving the DCs around today, plus chatting to Coaches, Parents etc.