Making dinner for my son's friend

[ILCTM]

So my 12 year old son goes to a youth club once a week in the evening. On this day, his friend has been coming home with him straight from school, which is fine, then his friend's dad will come and collect them both, they go back to his house where they'll make their way to the youth club as they live walking distance from it.

The first couple of times my son brought his friend back, I made them both dinner, but I didn't know this was going to be a weekly thing. I have no problem with him coming round at all, but I'm just thinking, if it was you, would you feed his friend every week? I mean on the one hand, I'm making dinner anyway, it's not a big deal, but then on the other hand, I don't really feel like it's my responsibility to feed another child every week.

I remember being their age and sometimes friends would be at mine when it was my dinner time and vice versa and we'd either go home or just hang out in their rooms or whatever. Our parents didn't make dinner for friends unless it was specifically arranged. Just wondering what everyone else would do?

I'd make it, I'd probably make it spag bol night as it's quick and can be shared out with extras.

Yes, I would make enough for the friend as well. I have always fed my children's friends if they are here at meal times.

i’d make it without a thought, something simple

In my childhood, my best friends parents left me awkwardly sat in the living room if I happened to be there at a meal time. I hated it. I always cook enough for whoever happens to be in our house. I don’t find it a problem if I’m cooking anyway.

i bet your son enjoys having him over

If you’re not strapped for cash, I can’t understand why you wouldn’t give him dinner.

I would too. I'd look on this as helping to nurture what could be a very important friendship between them in years to come.

Yeah I can't believe this is a thing!!

Unless you're really struggling and you absolutely cannot afford to feed an extra mouth, even a small portion, then yes I'd do it. But I'd describe myself as really generous with my kids friends. And no one ever leaves our house feeling hungry 😄

I'd just make the kid dinner. Maybe I'd check I wasn't spoiling any plans for him at home, but other than that I wouldn't think anything of it.

I would! How does your DC get home from the youth club? Does the lift from the friends dad enable him going/help you out at all?

Unless you really can't afford it then why wouldn't you?

I'd make it, it would be weird to me to serve my own child and not another!

If they're going to the youth club near his house, why don't they go straight to the friend's house from school? Are you being used for childcare til the dad finishes work?

I get where you're coming from, it's not that it's any extra bother to feed him but you don't want to feel committed to it every week.

Pasta, baked spud with beans and cheese, something warm and filling and not to involved.

bloody hell

i couldn’t resist a sneaky AS

This OP seems to go through life taking issue with so much. Must be depressing to live like this

Is the lift from the friend's Dad necessary? If so I'd see the meal as payment for that. If however you're picking both boys up from the club afterwards and dropping the friend home I'd maybe be less forgiving.

Of course I would!

Anyone who is here at a time I would be feeding my child will also be fed (unless they don’t want to be!).

Leaving a child out is awkward as fuck. Plus especially now that you've been giving him dinner and now suddenly you're not.

If the boys are going to both homes each time - yours first then the other boy’s - can you suggest alternating which home feeds them?

Or could you alternate houses? DD does a club with a friend and we alternate which house they go to between school and club.

Yeah, you can’t feed your child but not his mate, so arranging some sort of alternating seems best. Or if that’s not possible eg due to other boy’s parents working, maybe they could pick up both boys and return yours to save you the pickup journey.

Always fed any kids who were around at dinner time, they generally seemed to like it.
DS is an only child so his friends were very important to him from a young age and we often had one or two in the house. It just seemed natural and worked well.
Other mums didn't seem to mind, (always notified of course,) one lad was from a bit of a chaotic background and loved having a sit-down family dinner sometimes.

No. Basically, they go to school in the town I live in. His friend lives in the next town. So his dad would be coming this way anyway on school days - or he'll get the bus.

The youth club is in the town his friend lives, so my son does get a lift there, but I have to do the trip anyway as my younger son also goes (but doesn't go with my eldest to his friend's house if that makes sense).

He's a lovely boy and they have a really special bond, so I don't mind him coming round at all. And I don't have a problem making dinner for him, but I was just wondering what others would do in this situation. I mean I definitely don't have money coming out of my ears, but I'm not going to notice a few extra chicken nuggets gone each week.

so I don't mind him coming round at all. And I don't have a problem making dinner for him, but I was just wondering what others would do in this situation.

Maybe read your own OP?

Feed them both.

The friend’s Dad is giving your son a lift to youth club. Look on this as the reciprocal favour if you need one, as it seems you do.