To feel bad for the new employee at work

[MariMiceMouse]

I’m going to try keep this vague as I don’t want it to be identifying but here goes.

In my office there is a real mixed bag of privilege from Etonians to comp school in the north east, Oxbridge to ex polytechnics. In most instances it makes no difference at all.
We took on a graduate this year, she’s very privileged. Studied at a top uni, went to top private schools and international schools.
She seems to be very intelligent and has made some friends.
However there is a specific group who really don’t like her, she mentioned at drinks once that she was moving into her new flat, that to turned to where and asking to see etc. eventually it came out that it is a graduation gift and mortgage free - probably worth nearing 2 million for a 1.5 bed. Really puts into perspective the wealth we are talking about here.
She wears expensive designer clothes and accessories everyday which also irritates some people.
The conversation when she’s not around always seems to fall to how privileged she is.
There are maybe 4 people who seem to get on really well with her (ironically the youngest and furthest from that level of wealth).
Shes on my team and sits beside me, she’s actually really lovely, funny and so intelligent even about things that don’t relate to her job or degree.
It feels like a lot of the office are keen to see her fail and it’s making me feel quite bad for her.

AIBU to think it’s really poor for grown adults to be so cruel behind someone’s back just because they are from a different background.

Yeah they are pathetic and need to get a life and on with their work. It’s awful to be so jealous and puts them in a very bad light, especially to be carrying on this way in a professional environment, regardless of what their personal view may be on their own time.

You shouldn’t have to put up with them creating this toxic environment at work. It’s already affecting you. Certainly if they start to treat her poorly, I wouldn’t hesitate to out them to managers/HR - highlighting types of comments they have been making and how frequently/relentless it is.

I would speak to her and tell her to keep things private from now on. Some people cannot cope with others having more than them. It's ridiculous that they are working in wealth management and don't like other people having a lot of money.

This is misogyny and bullying. You can see it so call them out. It wouldn’t be justifiable but could be explainable if she wasn’t nice or was bragging. Mention to someone senior too. And really tackle the micro aggressions

I think this girl was silly to reveal so much about her privileged life as people do get jealous and will try and make her life harder. This may be a life lesson for her. People at work don’t need to know what her flat is worth or that she got it as a gift or that it’s mortgage free. Who shares this much personal information with colleagues? It’s naive and short sighted.

She is young. The nasty response may be a learning opportunity for her to keep this to herself. Next time it may be people with much worse intentions who are hearing about her wealth.

I partly disagree. It depends how the information was revealed.and the context. Us women do like to chat after all! If others asked questions about where she lives, etc, she has answered honestly for example then, to me that’s her being open and honest about herself and who she is. Possibly a bit too much maybe but if she felt she was chatting amongst friends…..The bottom line is, none of this makes her a “bad” person and actually says more about the others with their unpleasant attitudes- wouldn’t want any of them as friends!

She can't help what background she comes from, it's all she's known. The bullying colleagues sound awful. Report them.

Sounds like they are profiling her instead of taking the time to get to know her as a human being. Unfortunately some people are just like that, and those same people also have a tendency to compare and get jealous. It’s very petty and they’re acting like playground bullies. I’ve experienced a lot of it over the years because of my accent - I’m from a northern working class background but did well academically (= “swot” at school, obviously!) then moved away and lost my accent, and people just automatically assume that I’m posh and stuck up and privileged, none of which is true! I hope she is dealing with it ok as she sounds like a decent person, which is all that really matters.

They’re just very jealous, I do get it, we’d all love that life or we think we would. Reality is she was probably under a lot of pressure to achieve from a young age. Maybe she attended a form of boarding school etc and was terribly homesick / her parents lived abroad etc, and was jealous of the kids that went home everyday to mum and dad. Maybe she masks or it has made her terribly driven and focused. Maybe she never wanted a career and wants to be a Mum.

no one knows anything really about people’s real life, goodness if she’s nice people be friends with her. Just be glad she’s not horrible as surely that would be worse?

stick up for her if you value her as a friend, this could be the start of a long professional relationship. You never know who will be where in ten years time.