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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

New nursery, unexpectedly high fees and an unreasonable manager

235 replies

Singlemommy2024 · 12/11/2024 22:58

I moved my DC to a new nursery after management changed at the previous one and I felt DC wasn’t being adequately challenged. I chose the new nursery because the owner’s child was friends with mine, and I wanted to try their new Montessori program as I’d heard good things about it. DC began in September, and after settling in days and a discussion about fees and policies, I paid a deposit to secure the spot.

Although I’d previously informed the manager DC was eligible for 15 funded hours she only explained that due to the Montessori curriculum they require kids attend a minimum of 20 hours. I was happy to do this as I’d always wanted DC to do more than 15 but the old nursery didn’t allow this for term time only students. We agreed that DC would attend 4 half days a week 8am - 1pm. The manager recommend the morning slot citing a more structured curriculum in the morning and I accepted what I thought was her professional opinion.

After the third settling-in day, the manager informed me I’d be receiving an invoice. Later that day I received an invoice for September fees, due that same day. Surprised, as I hadn’t expected a payment so soon, I planned to clarify this with her the following week. When she later confirmed it was correct, I explained I wasn’t prepared for this payment. She accepted a partial payment, with the balance paid the following week.

Shortly after, my schedule changed, so I asked if DC could switch from the 8am - 1pm slot to the 1 pm - 6 pm slot. The manager told me they only offered 8 am - 1 pm or 8 am - 6 pm slots, which was confusing since I recalled her mentioning both. Still, I agreed to three full days instead of 4 half days to keep my course schedule since my sister agreed to assist with payment and I’d get reimbursement from UC.

One week later, and one week to the due date I received an invoice for three full days, with payment due by Oct 1. Unable to pay in full right away, I made a partial payment and arranged a meeting at the Job Centre for assistance. By Oct 1, the manager emailed me at 4 am about the balance. I explained that I was actively working on it, yet she continued to pressure me for payment, even calling during nursery hours without updating me on DC’s well-being.

After my meeting at the Job Centre she coincidentally called me I explained I’d just left but was busy and would need to get back in contact with her. She ignored what I said and proceeded to threaten to suspend my child although she’d received partial payment for the month and is in receipt of 15 funded hours from the government. Due to this call I performed terribly in my telephone interview.

When I finally arranged the grant, I needed the nursery manager’s signature. She asked unnecessary questions, took a copy of my form without consent, and kept demanding confirmation of payment, despite clear evidence it would go directly to her account. I expressed my dissatisfaction but had to rush back to the Job Centre to ensure the payment would be processed that day to avoid losing DC’s space.

Afterward, I requested a meeting to provide feedback. The manager was defensive, reluctantly admitted to miscommunications but wouldn’t offer any flexibility for future payments, despite the unexpected costs I’d incurred. Additionally, she hadn’t given me a copy of the contract initially, which stated both session options, including 1 pm - 6 pm was on offer. The payment due date was also buried in a long paragraph, which I missed. Please note she didn’t state the afternoon slot was unavailable because the nursery was full either she just changed the policy without communicating it to parents.

Following this experience, I left a review detailing my concerns. Since then, the manager has been passive-aggressive toward both me and my sister, who occasionally picks up DC. My child has also complained about the manager’s child pushing and hitting them, which concerns me as I worry the child isn’t disciplined due to the staff’s connection to the manager.

OP posts:
SmallhopesPenny · 12/11/2024 23:05

Can you provide a TLDR version? I really couldn't follow all of that.

Onthesideofthespiders · 12/11/2024 23:06

At any point before signing up, did you know the fee?
When you moved to the full day, did you know the fee?

That’s really all that matters. Did you actually know what the fee was? If you knew the fee and you knew you couldn’t pay it then you’re very unreasonable for signing her up.

And you moved nurseries because you didn’t think your child was being challenged enough? That gives a pretty good idea of what type of parent you are; difficult.

Onthesideofthespiders · 12/11/2024 23:08

When you say you left a review, did you leave this on some public site? You left a negative review of a nursery while your child still attends and you haven’t ever actually paid an invoice on time?

TheHoneyMonster82 · 12/11/2024 23:09

As soon as I read that your child ‘wasn’t being challenged enough’ in nursery I knew you were being unreasonable. . .

Amammai · 12/11/2024 23:10

How were you planning to pay for childcare? Even if the fees were higher than you expected? You must have enquired about the day rate/half day rate?

If half day rate was, for example. £50 then 4 half days would be £200 per week, so £800 per month.
If a full day was, for example, £80 then 3 full days would be £240 or £960 per month. So either way, you still need a high amount of money. I’m wondering how you intended to pay.

weareallcats · 12/11/2024 23:10

TheHoneyMonster82 · 12/11/2024 23:09

As soon as I read that your child ‘wasn’t being challenged enough’ in nursery I knew you were being unreasonable. . .

Yep…

KoalaCalledKevin · 12/11/2024 23:11

TheHoneyMonster82 · 12/11/2024 23:09

As soon as I read that your child ‘wasn’t being challenged enough’ in nursery I knew you were being unreasonable. . .

Yes I thought that

FanofLeaves · 12/11/2024 23:11

Well it’s certainly a challenging environment now, isn’t it? For all the wrong reasons.

OF course they’re going to be giving you the cold shoulder if you’ve actively complained about them on a public platform and still expect your daughter to attend. It sounds like there’s a lot of confusion over payment etc but I think you’ve gone about it terribly. I get it will be stressful if you’re waiting on UC or other payments but I do not know of a single nursery that doesn’t ask for their monthly payments in advance.

weareallcats · 12/11/2024 23:11

It does kind of read like you’ve signed up
for something you can’t afford to pay for.

cherish123 · 12/11/2024 23:15

I assume what you're saying is that it's more expensive than you thought it'd be. You changed hours so it was going to change the amount you were due. I think this nursery may be too expensive.

Singlemommy2024 · 12/11/2024 23:15

Onthesideofthespiders · 12/11/2024 23:06

At any point before signing up, did you know the fee?
When you moved to the full day, did you know the fee?

That’s really all that matters. Did you actually know what the fee was? If you knew the fee and you knew you couldn’t pay it then you’re very unreasonable for signing her up.

And you moved nurseries because you didn’t think your child was being challenged enough? That gives a pretty good idea of what type of parent you are; difficult.

I didn’t know the fee because the manager was unable to provide a clear fee structure for term time only students, only year round.

Also the fees I initially agreed to were affordable because I was sold that DC would be able to attend half days whether it be morning or afternoon. I only fell into issues when my commitments changed and needed afternoon sessions only to find out she’d changed the policy without communicating it.

OP posts:
Whoknows101 · 12/11/2024 23:16

The way your post is written suggests to me that you are an absolute nightmare to deal with....

DieStrassensindimmernass · 12/11/2024 23:23

Why did you sign up with no information on the fee structure?

Singlemommy2024 · 12/11/2024 23:24

Amammai · 12/11/2024 23:10

How were you planning to pay for childcare? Even if the fees were higher than you expected? You must have enquired about the day rate/half day rate?

If half day rate was, for example. £50 then 4 half days would be £200 per week, so £800 per month.
If a full day was, for example, £80 then 3 full days would be £240 or £960 per month. So either way, you still need a high amount of money. I’m wondering how you intended to pay.

I work part time and receive 15 hour funding. I was able to afford 4 half days but the difference between 4 half days and 3 full days is a stark difference.

when I initially signed up there was no mention that DC had to attend 20 hours minimum until we lost the space at old nursery. I wasn’t unhappy with this though as I wanted DC to attend more than 15 hours and also was able to afford to pay for 1 half day plus consumables.

Once I complained about how my issue was managed only then she backtracked on the 20 hours minimum until minimum and mentioned DC could attend 15 hours only but it would have to be 3 hours a day, 5 days a week from 8am - 11am. Again this doesn’t coincide with my schedule. None of this information is in the contract either.

OP posts:
Singlemommy2024 · 12/11/2024 23:27

TheHoneyMonster82 · 12/11/2024 23:09

As soon as I read that your child ‘wasn’t being challenged enough’ in nursery I knew you were being unreasonable. . .

Child is 3 going on 4 and they’re not even teaching phonics and writing skills. No feedback on daily activities to promote development and nothing in the plan to prepare them for school. I don’t think that’s too unreasonable to ask, do you?

OP posts:
NewName24 · 12/11/2024 23:29

Amammai · 12/11/2024 23:10

How were you planning to pay for childcare? Even if the fees were higher than you expected? You must have enquired about the day rate/half day rate?

If half day rate was, for example. £50 then 4 half days would be £200 per week, so £800 per month.
If a full day was, for example, £80 then 3 full days would be £240 or £960 per month. So either way, you still need a high amount of money. I’m wondering how you intended to pay.

This, and both the 2nd and 3rd replies, from @Onthesideofthespiders .

YABVU to send your child to Nursery without paying the very first invoice and then to leave a public review complaining about the Nursery . Hmm

As soon as I read that your child ‘wasn’t being challenged enough’ in nursery I knew you were being unreasonable. . .

I mean, I am inclined to agree with this, too.

FanofLeaves · 12/11/2024 23:30

The fee structure should have been clear and upfront and easy to refer to BUT it was your schedule that changed at short notice. This is what put a spanner in the works.

RissiOne · 12/11/2024 23:31

They don’t teach phonics in nursery, that’s done at school.

Also you have to pay the bills on time. That’s life.

Singlemommy2024 · 12/11/2024 23:32

DieStrassensindimmernass · 12/11/2024 23:23

Why did you sign up with no information on the fee structure?

She provided full day and half day rate.

She did not say there was no afternoon session the contract says there is an afternoon session available. I’m forced to pay for 3 full days instead of 4 half days because she stopped offering afternoon sessions, instead she now offers morning session or full day only.

OP posts:
Singlemommy2024 · 12/11/2024 23:35

FanofLeaves · 12/11/2024 23:30

The fee structure should have been clear and upfront and easy to refer to BUT it was your schedule that changed at short notice. This is what put a spanner in the works.

I was happy to wait the notice period to change, that isn’t my issue.

My issue is that she sold me on a nursery that offers 2 sessions a day morning or afternoon. Only once I needed the afternoon session was I told they no longer offer it. Not because they don’t have capacity either but because she just decided to stop because of this I was forced to change to 3 full days instead.

OP posts:
Notsuchafattynow · 12/11/2024 23:35

TheHoneyMonster82 · 12/11/2024 23:09

As soon as I read that your child ‘wasn’t being challenged enough’ in nursery I knew you were being unreasonable. . .

Ha ha me too.

FanofLeaves · 12/11/2024 23:36

They don’t teach phonics or writing skills at nursery beyond letter learning and mark making. The ready for school skills are toileting, eating independently, following instructions and coats on and off/putting own shoes on. You need a pre school attached to a school if you want formal learning.

Singlemommy2024 · 12/11/2024 23:36

RissiOne · 12/11/2024 23:31

They don’t teach phonics in nursery, that’s done at school.

Also you have to pay the bills on time. That’s life.

This nursery teaches phonics.

I’m not complaining about paying on time. I’m complaining about unexpected fees please use your comprehension.

OP posts:
scotstars · 12/11/2024 23:37

Phonics is for school not nursery.
Why would you sign your child up without clear information on what was to be paid and when? I've never known a nursery to bill in arrears they all want paid for the month ahead they are a business with bills and staff to pay

whiteboardking · 12/11/2024 23:39

Nurseries don't and shouldn't be focused on phonics & writing. It's play based and developing fine motor skills. And Montessori even more so?!?!