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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

New nursery, unexpectedly high fees and an unreasonable manager

235 replies

Singlemommy2024 · 12/11/2024 22:58

I moved my DC to a new nursery after management changed at the previous one and I felt DC wasn’t being adequately challenged. I chose the new nursery because the owner’s child was friends with mine, and I wanted to try their new Montessori program as I’d heard good things about it. DC began in September, and after settling in days and a discussion about fees and policies, I paid a deposit to secure the spot.

Although I’d previously informed the manager DC was eligible for 15 funded hours she only explained that due to the Montessori curriculum they require kids attend a minimum of 20 hours. I was happy to do this as I’d always wanted DC to do more than 15 but the old nursery didn’t allow this for term time only students. We agreed that DC would attend 4 half days a week 8am - 1pm. The manager recommend the morning slot citing a more structured curriculum in the morning and I accepted what I thought was her professional opinion.

After the third settling-in day, the manager informed me I’d be receiving an invoice. Later that day I received an invoice for September fees, due that same day. Surprised, as I hadn’t expected a payment so soon, I planned to clarify this with her the following week. When she later confirmed it was correct, I explained I wasn’t prepared for this payment. She accepted a partial payment, with the balance paid the following week.

Shortly after, my schedule changed, so I asked if DC could switch from the 8am - 1pm slot to the 1 pm - 6 pm slot. The manager told me they only offered 8 am - 1 pm or 8 am - 6 pm slots, which was confusing since I recalled her mentioning both. Still, I agreed to three full days instead of 4 half days to keep my course schedule since my sister agreed to assist with payment and I’d get reimbursement from UC.

One week later, and one week to the due date I received an invoice for three full days, with payment due by Oct 1. Unable to pay in full right away, I made a partial payment and arranged a meeting at the Job Centre for assistance. By Oct 1, the manager emailed me at 4 am about the balance. I explained that I was actively working on it, yet she continued to pressure me for payment, even calling during nursery hours without updating me on DC’s well-being.

After my meeting at the Job Centre she coincidentally called me I explained I’d just left but was busy and would need to get back in contact with her. She ignored what I said and proceeded to threaten to suspend my child although she’d received partial payment for the month and is in receipt of 15 funded hours from the government. Due to this call I performed terribly in my telephone interview.

When I finally arranged the grant, I needed the nursery manager’s signature. She asked unnecessary questions, took a copy of my form without consent, and kept demanding confirmation of payment, despite clear evidence it would go directly to her account. I expressed my dissatisfaction but had to rush back to the Job Centre to ensure the payment would be processed that day to avoid losing DC’s space.

Afterward, I requested a meeting to provide feedback. The manager was defensive, reluctantly admitted to miscommunications but wouldn’t offer any flexibility for future payments, despite the unexpected costs I’d incurred. Additionally, she hadn’t given me a copy of the contract initially, which stated both session options, including 1 pm - 6 pm was on offer. The payment due date was also buried in a long paragraph, which I missed. Please note she didn’t state the afternoon slot was unavailable because the nursery was full either she just changed the policy without communicating it to parents.

Following this experience, I left a review detailing my concerns. Since then, the manager has been passive-aggressive toward both me and my sister, who occasionally picks up DC. My child has also complained about the manager’s child pushing and hitting them, which concerns me as I worry the child isn’t disciplined due to the staff’s connection to the manager.

OP posts:
Avoidingsleep · 13/11/2024 21:01

Singlemommy2024 · 12/11/2024 23:24

I work part time and receive 15 hour funding. I was able to afford 4 half days but the difference between 4 half days and 3 full days is a stark difference.

when I initially signed up there was no mention that DC had to attend 20 hours minimum until we lost the space at old nursery. I wasn’t unhappy with this though as I wanted DC to attend more than 15 hours and also was able to afford to pay for 1 half day plus consumables.

Once I complained about how my issue was managed only then she backtracked on the 20 hours minimum until minimum and mentioned DC could attend 15 hours only but it would have to be 3 hours a day, 5 days a week from 8am - 11am. Again this doesn’t coincide with my schedule. None of this information is in the contract either.

You have essentially tripled the hours you are paying for. Even with 15 ‘free’ (my son’s nursery has a slight additional fee for essentials as the government don’t pay the nurseries as much as the places cost) you still now have another 15 to pay for. Which works out at 60 hours a month rather than 20.

Most nurseries run set half days rather than flexible hours as they don’t have hundreds of spaces and can accommodate other families for the other half of the day.

But yeah, nursery is ridiculously expensive. If you need the 4 days, but can’t afford it look into local childminders, a lot of them take the 15 hours, but their daily rates are lower.

Toptops · 13/11/2024 21:50

TheHoneyMonster82 · 12/11/2024 23:09

As soon as I read that your child ‘wasn’t being challenged enough’ in nursery I knew you were being unreasonable. . .

Me too!

KiwiLondoner · 13/11/2024 22:40

My children have been learning phonics since age two at nursery. I don't think you're being unreasonable at all to move your child for not being challenged.

Fees sound confusing but not sure what grounds you have, if any. Just wanted to say I disagree with everyone's criticism of your decision to move DC for not being challenged. You have every right to do that

Laura95167 · 13/11/2024 23:13

Singlemommy2024 · 12/11/2024 22:58

I moved my DC to a new nursery after management changed at the previous one and I felt DC wasn’t being adequately challenged. I chose the new nursery because the owner’s child was friends with mine, and I wanted to try their new Montessori program as I’d heard good things about it. DC began in September, and after settling in days and a discussion about fees and policies, I paid a deposit to secure the spot.

Although I’d previously informed the manager DC was eligible for 15 funded hours she only explained that due to the Montessori curriculum they require kids attend a minimum of 20 hours. I was happy to do this as I’d always wanted DC to do more than 15 but the old nursery didn’t allow this for term time only students. We agreed that DC would attend 4 half days a week 8am - 1pm. The manager recommend the morning slot citing a more structured curriculum in the morning and I accepted what I thought was her professional opinion.

After the third settling-in day, the manager informed me I’d be receiving an invoice. Later that day I received an invoice for September fees, due that same day. Surprised, as I hadn’t expected a payment so soon, I planned to clarify this with her the following week. When she later confirmed it was correct, I explained I wasn’t prepared for this payment. She accepted a partial payment, with the balance paid the following week.

Shortly after, my schedule changed, so I asked if DC could switch from the 8am - 1pm slot to the 1 pm - 6 pm slot. The manager told me they only offered 8 am - 1 pm or 8 am - 6 pm slots, which was confusing since I recalled her mentioning both. Still, I agreed to three full days instead of 4 half days to keep my course schedule since my sister agreed to assist with payment and I’d get reimbursement from UC.

One week later, and one week to the due date I received an invoice for three full days, with payment due by Oct 1. Unable to pay in full right away, I made a partial payment and arranged a meeting at the Job Centre for assistance. By Oct 1, the manager emailed me at 4 am about the balance. I explained that I was actively working on it, yet she continued to pressure me for payment, even calling during nursery hours without updating me on DC’s well-being.

After my meeting at the Job Centre she coincidentally called me I explained I’d just left but was busy and would need to get back in contact with her. She ignored what I said and proceeded to threaten to suspend my child although she’d received partial payment for the month and is in receipt of 15 funded hours from the government. Due to this call I performed terribly in my telephone interview.

When I finally arranged the grant, I needed the nursery manager’s signature. She asked unnecessary questions, took a copy of my form without consent, and kept demanding confirmation of payment, despite clear evidence it would go directly to her account. I expressed my dissatisfaction but had to rush back to the Job Centre to ensure the payment would be processed that day to avoid losing DC’s space.

Afterward, I requested a meeting to provide feedback. The manager was defensive, reluctantly admitted to miscommunications but wouldn’t offer any flexibility for future payments, despite the unexpected costs I’d incurred. Additionally, she hadn’t given me a copy of the contract initially, which stated both session options, including 1 pm - 6 pm was on offer. The payment due date was also buried in a long paragraph, which I missed. Please note she didn’t state the afternoon slot was unavailable because the nursery was full either she just changed the policy without communicating it to parents.

Following this experience, I left a review detailing my concerns. Since then, the manager has been passive-aggressive toward both me and my sister, who occasionally picks up DC. My child has also complained about the manager’s child pushing and hitting them, which concerns me as I worry the child isn’t disciplined due to the staff’s connection to the manager.

You have to pay for a service you use. Usually nursery fees are paid in advance. Usually nurseries with a higher reputation can demand a higher premium.

You put DC in the nursery, didn't pay, increased her attendance and didn't pay again and think you have a right to be put out. This is their livelihood, a partial payment isn't acceptable.

You should know before you drop your child off what you owe and when it's due. Doesn't matter if it's buried in a paragraph or red penned across the front. Its your responsibility to read the contract and to pay your bills. YABU

Laura95167 · 13/11/2024 23:20

Singlemommy2024 · 12/11/2024 23:27

Child is 3 going on 4 and they’re not even teaching phonics and writing skills. No feedback on daily activities to promote development and nothing in the plan to prepare them for school. I don’t think that’s too unreasonable to ask, do you?

Isn't montessori a child led programme? Maybe that means she's not showing an interest in the language element?

GrannyRose15 · 13/11/2024 23:28

Singlemommy2024 · 12/11/2024 23:27

Child is 3 going on 4 and they’re not even teaching phonics and writing skills. No feedback on daily activities to promote development and nothing in the plan to prepare them for school. I don’t think that’s too unreasonable to ask, do you?

Children of that age should be learning through play not being force fed phonics for goodness sake.

Opentooffers · 13/11/2024 23:41

Just because nurseries split the days up into sessions for mornings or afteroons, it doesn't meed these are available.You arrange the sessions prior to starting and pay in advance, that's normal. Not their problem if they can't accommodate the hours you want or to change them. You should of sorted all the schedule you needed with the new nursery before your DC had left the prior one, as well as the fees and when to pay.
You've somehow decided that your DC is going to be pushed to the max and be high achieving although you are not.
Perish the thought of a nursery not doing phonics lol! I didn't know they did, certainly didn't at my DS's nursery, yet at primary school he soon got promoted to phonics lessons with the year above as considered 'gifted'.
You've actually taken your DC away from the friends he will have made at his previous nursery because you got friendly with someone who knew they do phonics at this one, and sod how your DC feels emotionally- he will be educated no matter what before school. I feel so sorry for him, especially now he is being bullied. You've made some very poor choices at you DC's expense and are now blaming others when it hasn't worked.

Buffs · 14/11/2024 00:33

Singlemommy2024 · 12/11/2024 23:27

Child is 3 going on 4 and they’re not even teaching phonics and writing skills. No feedback on daily activities to promote development and nothing in the plan to prepare them for school. I don’t think that’s too unreasonable to ask, do you?

It sounds like you might not have done your research on the nursery yet you have high expectations. Did you visit, ask about phonics and writing, ask about the feedback they give? Did you check their Ofstead report? If these are your expectations then you need to check the nursery will meet them.

Purlesweetcheeks · 14/11/2024 00:50

Hi OP, after carefully reading your post, I can totally understand where a lot of your frustrations are coming from. I think most of the comments are perhaps not seeing things from your point of view. It seems to me that you’ve tried to make every effort to make the payments and perhaps there was a slight miscommunication about due dates for payments/expectations etc. The point here is not about missed payments/late payments etc, but about how OP felt in this situation. No parent should be made to feel uncomfortable when dealing with management in a childcare setting - I personally think the management could have handled the situation with a bit more decorum. As a childcare provider it’s important to be open minded and respectful of not only the children you’re dealing with but also the families involved. I must admit, writing a negative review might have escalated matters a little, but I think the management should have arranged a proper meeting with you to chat about what might have gone wrong and how to resolve things moving forwards. I would suggest perhaps finding a new setting for your child - not because you’re necessarily in the wrong, but so that you can both have a fresh start and know exactly what you’re getting your child (and yourself) into. Take care 😊

Witknit · 16/11/2024 16:53

TheHoneyMonster82 · 12/11/2024 23:09

As soon as I read that your child ‘wasn’t being challenged enough’ in nursery I knew you were being unreasonable. . .

Ditto

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