School refusing my daughter a replacement sticker

[Trek28]

My daughter is 4-years old and has just started school. She did some good work in class and was called up in assembly last Friday, and was given a special sticker by the headteacher. When I collected her from school that day she was really upset and told me about the sticker, and that it had been lost/another child had taken it during the school day. I thought, no problem, I'll just email the school and ask for another one.

I emailed the school explaining the situation, but was a bit surprised and taken aback by the response. It reads:

Hello XXXXX,

Thank you for your email.

Unfortunately, the headteacher sticker is given out in the morning and has to last the day at school.

We are unable to give out a replacement. Sorry for any inconvenience caused.

This response strikes me as a bit mean and was not at all the response I expected. I know it is just a silly sticker. But my daughter was really proud to receive it and is still upset that it is lost. She keeps wanting to talk to me about it and I don't even know what it looks like. Any suggestions? AIBU?

What a rude reply!

Bit harsh

Buy a pack of your own special stickers to give dd when she does something lovely

You asked. They said no. Tell your dd that stickers don't last and the best part is that she was given her sticker in assembly and everyone knows how great she is. Then drop it and distract her with something else if she mentions it again.

That's super shitty. Why can't they do something small to be kind to a 4 year old?

It seems a little harsh but the Headteacher has more things to worry about than replacing a sticker. Can you suggest to your little girl that you go out together and buy a little gift for her achievement?

Wow it’s a sticker given to a 4 year old, I’d be impressed if it made it to lunch! What’s their reasoning for not replacing it, I’m baffled.

I think that's mean-spirited, personally. I would have replaced the sticker. I also find the response you got rather snotty. If that's indicative of the ethos of the school and headteacher, you'll need your helmet and shinpads for the next 6 years.

I'm a R/Y1 teacher and I would not treat children or their parents like this.

Lol, I worked in reception and we had a very clear no replacement stickers rule. The kids all learned fast that if you stick and unstick your sticker, it falls off, and you don't get a new one. Most of them put their special ones on their water bottles, which saved a lot of heartache.

WTF! Reply saying 'I'm sure you can appreciate she is 4 and this reply won't really be understood. Is there any chance you could approach the headteacher directly to make an exception? I'm happy to collect it from reception so it wouldn't be lost again. Thanks'

But she's 4?? What a weird and harsh rule.

Because the headteacher stickers cost about 15-20p each if they are in colour, and if every four year old requests a replacement, they run out before the yearly budget replenishes so the kids in June and July get nothing. Welcome to underfunded schools!

I appreciate that their response may come across as harsh but having worked in schools for years I can testify that they are truly at breaking point.

I got out a few years back and all my teacher friends are completely overwhelmed. Budgets are beyond stretched, staffing is low, behaviour problems on the rise, SEN and MH issues highest ever..,, working in a school right now is firefighting.

I guarantee you that of all the shit that person has to deal with in a day deems a lost sticker beyond low priority.

I am not saying it should be this way but that’s the reality,

Not necessarily harsh as PPS have said. Imagine if everyone kept going and asking for replacement stickers each time they lost the one they got.

The head teacher at our school gives 2, one in assembly and one attached inside the Friday going home book. Saves a lot of tears. If both were lost they would replace it, I appreciate we are lucky to have such a lovely small school though.

I had to request a replacement special sticker in reception last year for ds - we lost it at swimming after school. The teacher had no problem replacing it (and we still have it now!), she knew what it meant to him.

Mean school and snotty response, that sucks for your daughter.

Stickers are constantly lost. I think you can resolve this yourself op by buying special stickers yourself. I can't believe that you actually emailed them over it to be honest!

That isn’t a very nice reply from the school. But also, you emailed them about a sticker. For your daughter’s sake, help her to understand that the sticker isn’t the thing here. Intrinsic motivation is far more valuable than fixating over the external reward. Focus on the achievement, what she did to achieve it and how she felt about it. That’s the important thing here. The sticker wouldn’t have lasted long even if it had made it to home time. It’s not worth any more energy.

You could have been the 20th person that week that asked for a new one. Schools can't afford it. She got the sticker, give her a treat at home and move on. These things happen.

I can see where they’re coming from. They’d have a constant queue of kids if they replace them each time.

There is also nothing rude about the reply. It is factual.

Ours learn to go to the trolley to get sellotape & stick 2 pieces in a cross over it if they really want the sticker to stay 😊

I actually can't believe you emailed about a lost sticker. You've got a long few years of schooling ahead of you OP!

Harsh
If the school budget doesn’t allow replacements then they should stick them in their school book or contact book.
Or don’t do stickers at all - just have their name read out in assembly and have a round of applause.

This is a bit silly. Rather than say, ‘well done sweetheart, don’t worry about the badge, I’m just so happy how well you’ve done, you’re amazing!’, you’re focussing on a sticker that will get lost, fall off, etc and not last a day. I’m sure teachers have better things to do than give out stickers all day. My child is 3, and although would have a little strop about losing the sticker, is quite happy to have a cuddle and a ‘well done’. Unless there is a SEN issue, don’t you think teaching a bit of resilience in a kind way to something so minor may help your child going forward? Concentrate on the praise rather than the material things. Or just buy a similar pack of stickers?!