School refusing my daughter a replacement sticker

[Trek28]

My daughter is 4-years old and has just started school. She did some good work in class and was called up in assembly last Friday, and was given a special sticker by the headteacher. When I collected her from school that day she was really upset and told me about the sticker, and that it had been lost/another child had taken it during the school day. I thought, no problem, I'll just email the school and ask for another one.

I emailed the school explaining the situation, but was a bit surprised and taken aback by the response. It reads:

Hello XXXXX,

Thank you for your email.

Unfortunately, the headteacher sticker is given out in the morning and has to last the day at school.

We are unable to give out a replacement. Sorry for any inconvenience caused.

This response strikes me as a bit mean and was not at all the response I expected. I know it is just a silly sticker. But my daughter was really proud to receive it and is still upset that it is lost. She keeps wanting to talk to me about it and I don't even know what it looks like. Any suggestions? AIBU?

Children lose stickers all the time.

As others have said, bear in mind schools have many other things to deal with which frankly are more important than your child's sticker. That not-particularly-helpful email was probably written by a clerical assistant who would not have had time to think about how to put it more politely, or to go and discuss it with the headteacher.
Try to get things in proportion and find a way to help your daughter deal with it - another sticker / little treat / acknowledge her achievement / whatever.

Persistent harassing for a sticker is def going to make her 'that parent'.

Actually, sending an email about a sticker is bat shit, I'd def have her down as that parent.

Honestly, no wonder people don't stay in teaching. The parents are all nuts.

Poor school admin staff are doomed. Please remember they are real humans. Whatever your child/you are asking for remember to times that by the number of children and then double for parents in the school that they are also having to deal with. Also remember that whatever special allowance/treatment they give you or your child will then be expected by others. And also, once they do something once and show it’s possible, people will expect again and again, and again. It would be so eye opening for parents if they could do a day in the life of, honestly you would get it then. People are generally lovely, emails have no tone.

I was about to say similar…..

sadly @Trek28 not all school staff and fluffy and lovely these days…. My daughter is now year 9, and while she’s had some lovely teaching staff over the years, she’s also had some that have made me wish she home schooled!!
Unfortunately this is a hard lesson for your daughter to look after things better… I taught my DD early on to take her stickers off and put them on her book inside her book bag. That way they stayed there for the whole life of the book.
I second what someone else suggested, buy some really amazing stickers so when she does well at school you can give her one.. or take her out for a treat - an ice cream perhaps

This.
Yes, message was a bit blunt but that's life. Stickers get lost. Move on.

I am really quite surprised at the replies saying the school should replace it.

Without sounding harsh, schools have got far more important things to deal with than a lost sticker. Stickers are given out and lost all the time. School can't keep replacing them.

I say that as someone who has had two children go through primary school.

I am also quite surprised by all the urging to buy the child an ice cream or similar. I thought that was precisely what we are not supposed to do i.e.give sweet treats as a reward or as a way of 'making things better'?

YABU.

As a teacher, schools are under so much pressure in every area. They have so much more to worry about than a lost sticker unfortunately.

Imagine that throughout the year all 400 kids in the school get a sticker and all lose it. If the school gives one they have to do it for all. Then the spend is effectively double what has been budgeted for this. They are quite expensive if they’re the shiny ones!

As a parent of a 4 year old, I would never have emailed about something as small as this knowing that schools already have so many bigger things to deal with.

It seems arsey from the school - it’s a sticker! At the same time - it’s a sticker - it would never be something I would email about. I imagine your 4 year old will forget about it pretty quickly x

Distract her and move on.
Her school days will feel very long to you if you fight battles like this one.

Maybe the school fed up woth parents thinking their child is the only child in the school and parents making fuss over nothing really kid lost a sticker she is 4 she will get over it

Im sorry but i think it’s a bit ridiculous to expect school staff to replace lost stickers. It must happen all the time. They’ve got enough to do and other things to spend money on than replacement stickers for all those that fall off/go missing. I’m surprised you even got a reply. I agree with the poster who suggested keeping stickers at home to replace lost ones.

This

On the back of this, why not offer to purchase the stickers for good work - so if another 4 year old looses the stickers then it can be replaced. Also look at joining the PTA so you can help with fund raising

It's a sticker.

You and her need to learn to deal with her losing things and her not getting her own way.

It's not the schools fault. They shouldn't be obligated to replace it.

They've given a learning opportunity for the pair of you. Learn.

See, I'm quite surprised that the majority think the op is being unreasonable. I am almost certain that my dd's school would replace the sticker without batting an eyelid. The child is 4, not 14. At that age, it means a lot to them. I don't think the reply was rude really, but I do think a TA/ teacher could have arranged a replacement pretty easily - particularly if it's known that stickers go missing and kids get upset.

It was I think a Headteacher award sticker so not quite so easy to replace as one the teacher gives out themselves which as you say is much easier to do!

It's not about money. It's about time. A member of staff either needs to drop everything immediately, go and find the appropriate stickers and then the child. Or they need to remember this at the exact right time when it is convenient to do it (eg. When they're going to that child's class). The first one is disruptive to their work. The second is relying on an already overloaded memory. Promising the sticker would be replaced would be unlikely to end up happening.

only 3?! That a major improvement. Unless… two usernames?

It’s a bit harsh but stickers aren’t meant to be permanent anyway. Respond back with a pilot acknowledgment, make a suggestion that they might add a certificate (like some schools do) and for this, you and your daughter can home make a certificate to commemorate the event.

Yes tell them how to do their job better and spend more of their own time and (possibly own or at least scare school) money. See how that goes!

She had the sticker given to her & the recognition of the good work she did so she doesn't need another sticker. Buy her a treat or a sheet of stickers so she knows that you are proud of her achievements & explain that she doesn't need a sticker for you to know how great she is.