School refusing my daughter a replacement sticker

[Trek28]

My daughter is 4-years old and has just started school. She did some good work in class and was called up in assembly last Friday, and was given a special sticker by the headteacher. When I collected her from school that day she was really upset and told me about the sticker, and that it had been lost/another child had taken it during the school day. I thought, no problem, I'll just email the school and ask for another one.

I emailed the school explaining the situation, but was a bit surprised and taken aback by the response. It reads:

Hello XXXXX,

Thank you for your email.

Unfortunately, the headteacher sticker is given out in the morning and has to last the day at school.

We are unable to give out a replacement. Sorry for any inconvenience caused.

This response strikes me as a bit mean and was not at all the response I expected. I know it is just a silly sticker. But my daughter was really proud to receive it and is still upset that it is lost. She keeps wanting to talk to me about it and I don't even know what it looks like. Any suggestions? AIBU?

HT stern and lacks compassion for not giving out extra stickers 🤣

Good lord

Take it this way, if this is your reaction to being told a polite no over a little sticker, can't imagine what your reaction would be to not getting your own way over anything that actually matters or, heaven forbid, actually hearing your DC didn't stamp their feet and have everyone give into their every demand

I was thinking the same thing! 🤣🤣

Don't be silly 🤣🤣🤣

Perfect answer

This has to be a joke, surely?

Well that's entirely pointless then. Waste of everyone's time.
Who wants to volunteer to have their child left out of the reward? It's not hard for the teachers to find something to nominate each for star of the week over the course of the year. If you just give it for academic achievement, it rewards only the academic high fliers. If you just give it for social contribution it rewards the socially adroit ones. Who can say whether A writing a five page story is more noteworthy than B looking after a new kid joining the class or C reading their first sentence after finding it a struggle all year? They find an opportunity to reward everyone for doing something that is specially good for them. It doesn't make their achievements any lesser.

Probably outside the school protesting so long phone battery has gone flat. Otherwise I'm sure she'd have come back

E-mailing the school and reacting to it in a serious manner has made it a big, emotional issue for your daughter. I would have done the following:

"Fantastic! I'm really proud of you! You should be proud of yourself. Oh dear! Don't worry about the sticker they always fall off and lose their stickiness. I lost loads when I was your age and it would have needed to go in the bin, before I washed your clothing. They never last. I'm really proud of you though and the school is also really proud of you. Keep up the good work and there will be other stickers in the future, but don't worry if it gets lost." Keep your tone jovial and positive, then distract her with something else positive - What shall we do on the weekend? Did you play with your friends today?

It's going to be a loooooooooong 12 years OP 😂 Wait until her friend wins the award twice in a term and your precious poppet doesn't win it at all! Get her used to taking care of her things if they're so precious, it's a tough lesson but it's a sticker, get some perspective

Life’s tough I’m afraid, and it’s character building. You can neither shield her from everything nor put everything right, which is a hard lesson for both of you. Hopefully, in its small way the incident will contribute to her resilience.

Why did you email the school about a sticker?

You're so petty! I cannot even begin to explain how annoying that must have been for the school staff

And this my friends is the next gen of snowflakes being cultivated

I can't believe people would email the school for something like this.

Hi op,

I would highly suggest you don’t talk to them anymore about stickers :) I am sure you can find some she would like!

Good luck 🌺

Yeah no don’t do this

You have answered your own question. Stickers don’t last long. If they replaced every sticker that came up stuck/got lost they would go through 2 or 3 times as many stickers as they should.

I can’t believe you actually emailed about a lost sticker. Mountain out of molehill springs to mind.

The sensible response would have been to say “oh that’s a shame - next time stick some tape over the top of it.

Now do you want an apple or an orange ?”

And the poster who would move schools over a sticker ..I don’t even know what to say.

It's purely financial.

Sadly schools are now so strapped for cash they struggle to buy even basic things like stickers. I worked in a reception class for a decade, I'd say 50% of the children would lose their sticker, the money just isn't there to buy double. In fact during my last few years it was the teacher buying them out of her own money as the school had decided money was needed elsewhere, like buying reading books and pencils.

DS’s school give out special award stickers, that allow the pupils to wear their own clothes the following Friday, it’s important that parents see the stickers to know they’re able to wear mufti.

They're secured on with a big piece of sellotape, it does the job and lasts the day, with small children it seems like common sense to give them some extra security.

Might be worth asking if your DC’s school could do similar, it saves tears.

Our 5 year old comes out of school and sticks her sticker straight on her scoots' handlebars so it's not lost.
Agree with others, applaud her success, maybe have your own stickers for such occasions. Don't bother the school, they have SO much to deal with

Totally agree. In most cases teachers buy stickers and prizes out of their own pocket!

Amazing how we all made it through elementary school with no stickers. We got rewarded with getting to clean up something, a "job" such as erasing the board, or feeding the fish in the fish tankwas a reward.

Kids usually don't make drama if mama doesn't make drama; drama is a learned behavior.

Sod ‘em! Keep asking. Make each request more pleading and polite. Explain it might not mean much to them but it really does to your child and to you. You’d consider it a huge personal favour etc etc. They’ll be embarrassed and fed up of answering eventually and give in. Just DO NOT get arsey or you’ll be forever known as ‘that parent’.

It’s not meant as a keepsake. It is meant to only last one day so everyone can see a child has done something special. It would defeat the object for her to be given a replacement sticker on a different day. Reassure her that you are proud of her for getting a sticker. I’m sure it won’t be the first one she gets.

Oh, they'd be known as "that parent" and staff would be questioning if their children are being utterly spoilt by a parent who cares that much about a sticker. They'd likely be right. Teach your child to be resilient about something as minot as a sticker. It'll do them good in the long run.