School refusing my daughter a replacement sticker

[Trek28]

My daughter is 4-years old and has just started school. She did some good work in class and was called up in assembly last Friday, and was given a special sticker by the headteacher. When I collected her from school that day she was really upset and told me about the sticker, and that it had been lost/another child had taken it during the school day. I thought, no problem, I'll just email the school and ask for another one.

I emailed the school explaining the situation, but was a bit surprised and taken aback by the response. It reads:

Hello XXXXX,

Thank you for your email.

Unfortunately, the headteacher sticker is given out in the morning and has to last the day at school.

We are unable to give out a replacement. Sorry for any inconvenience caused.

This response strikes me as a bit mean and was not at all the response I expected. I know it is just a silly sticker. But my daughter was really proud to receive it and is still upset that it is lost. She keeps wanting to talk to me about it and I don't even know what it looks like. Any suggestions? AIBU?

I'm very much in the strict parenting group, probably too strict, and even I think this is grim.

What's worse, the responses by so many on the thread that she should learn to take better care of the sticker.

The child is 4.

4 years old.

She's been on this earth for FOUR whole years.

Take a good look at yourselves.

It's a fucking sticker.

This made me smile.

Why would you email the school about this, I'm sorry but so self centred and wasteful of office staff time. You've probably now highlighted yourself and your child as a bit of a pain over what a sticker.

Read any article about state schools or even on here and you realise time is tight. Although to be honest my daughters attend private schools and I still wouldn't want to waste their time on this.

All lessons need to be learnt at some age don't they? One of my daughters learnt throwing a teddy into the Thames is the end of that teddy at 2, is that too young to learn that? No of course it isn't, she never threw a teddy when we were out again.

What age is the right age to learn about stickers falling off, by 8 most children are not even interested in a stickers.

They're not mutually exclusive.

Your daughter lost her sticker and you should be using this incident to show her that she has to look after things. I accept she’s only 4 but the sooner children start to learn about responsibility and consequences the more resilient she will be as she grows

I'm shocked you emailed them to be honest.

If every child wanted a replacement the headteacher would forever be giving out new stickers.

I understand your little one is upset, but the head has so much to be dealing with that a sticker is really the bottom of the pile.

Agree with PP that you should either buy some stickers, or take DD out for a little treat.

This is spot on. It's a sad lesson, but a good one to learn.

It's going to be a tough few years of schooling if you find that email rude. It's to the point and explains the sticker situation perfectly.

There's going to be many, many things that happen at school over the next few years that will be email worthy; a lost sticker isn't one of them.

Give her a cuddle tell her you're proud of her for whatever the reason she got the sticker for and you're sorry it got lost the sticker. Then move on to something else.

This isn't something that needs fixing. It's never too young to learn by example there's no need to sweat the small stuff

Emailing the school is an over the top reaction.

I'd use this as an opportunity to teach her that we need to take care of things that are important to us and we don't always get what we want.

I wouldn't have expected a replacement! I would give her lots of praise though.

I think the problem is where do you draw the line. If you replace it once for own child you may end up constantly being asked

I agree with this. I would not have said I was a particularly harsh parent, but surely part of our job as parents is to help our children learn to deal with little disappointments rather than smoothing their way by trying to remove them all. This is one of those events that offers an opportunity for development in this way - I'm not entirely sure why some people would rush to remove it. Helping your child to deal with it, along with lots of sympathy and cuddles, is going to be much more valuable to them in the long run than rushing to fix the problem for them.

Which part of the email is rude?

Absolutely this!

And to add, they probably get emailed about lost stickers all the time (?) So it's a standard stock response to say no we can't be dealing with individual sticker queries.
Yes she's upset and disappointed, that's normal for a 4 year old. But you could have comforted her, told her it didn't matter, given her a different sticker or any amount of things. Now it's a bigger thing that it needed to be

It’s sad the school will begrudge a 4 year old a sticker. She must’ve been really proud of herself and she’s been excited to show her mum. What a shame!

Where do you draw the line? Do you let every child have a replacement? Or only 4yos? If you replace 4yos,why not 5yos?

Much easier have a blanket policy for all.

For those having a go at school office staff, you clearly have no idea what they do each day. We’re a 2 form entry school. Our 2 admin spend the first 90 minutes phoning parents to check up on whose children haven’t turned up that day - this is a safeguarding requirement - even though our parents are repeatedly reminded to phone school asap if their child is going to be off. Then one of the admin spends another hour sorting out dinner numbers whilst the other goes through the class wallets to check for letters / forms / messages. During 8.00 - 9.30, they also have a constant stream of parents at the office window wanting one thing or another - a new school jumper, book bag, to speak to the class teacher etc. They administer meds to children throughout the day so have to chase up those children at certain times. At some point, one of them has to check the Office email account to make sure little Freddie’s mum’s email about his lost sticker is dealt with promptly. Little Freddie’s mum is famous for sending emails at night, and following them up before school has opened asking why she hasn’t had a reply. Some days, especially Monday, there’s up to 10pm emails to deal with. Of course, the admin staff have to speak to whomever the email is about - class teacher, Senco (because the parent didn’t email her directly - again), Head, Pastoral lead, lunch time staff etc. After lunch, admin also meet with lunch time staff for a quick debrief about any incidents that may have occurred, and follow those up if it’s an accident that needs forms completing one bumped head letters sending home. Towards the end of every afternoon they get yet another stream of parents calling into school to collect their child early for an emergency doctor / dentist / opticians appointment. You’d be surprised how many children get emergency appointments especially when it’s a nice sunny day!after home time, yet another stream of parents who have picked up little Freddie from the classroom, little Freddie has told his mum that Jack’s been bullying him and stole his sticker and now his mum is demanding to see the class teacher / Head / Senco and wants Jack’s mum’s address so she can go round and bully her!

All this is a daily routine.

It was one sticker and you emailed the head teacher?

If you don't lower your expectations school life will be interesting from now on

She will be ok...and sbe will look after the next one..

Get a bloody grip it’s a sticker. Who honestly emails the school over sticker?

Well, children have to learn to look after things, that things can get lost, and not everything is replaceable
Also that being praised is reward in itself.
Don't start labelling children, literally and physically, at 4 years old

Um, did you mean to quote me? Your reply doesn’t match what I’ve said…

Apologies, it was meant to be a general response to the OP