Lost weight, now losing friends!

[Artistbythewater]

I have been over weight for many years. I decided about six months ago I have had enough.

I am now a size 10 and some of my friends have taken it very badly, and it has shocked me. I am now often quizzed, judged and I no longer feel like one of them. My feminist values have been questioned subtly, I am adhering to the patriarchy is the overall impression I am given. I have ‘given in’ or something like that.

I am furious. This is my body. I can be fit and well if I want to be. I spent an entire dinner party listening to friends telling me I should be proud whatever my size at the weekend. All the while looking slightly peeved.

I was pre diabetic with a host of health problems before, which was the main reason behind my decision. I feel fitter, more confident in myself. I can run, feel comfortable in clothes. It’s made such a difference to me personally.

We are not young - menopausal age. I thought I had better friends than this! Has anyone else experienced this?

My sister was so jealous she tried to suggest I had an eating disorder when I lost 3 stone.
I was eating 3 meals a day.
It's funny what weight loss does to others peoples views and how they see themselves . . . When others around them change.

Ignore them.
It's their issue not yours.
You've set yourself and behaviours ip to improve your health - anyone who loves you will share and be proud only our success!

So true...." Very much as "know your place fatties"

Exactly.. they're not easy, they're hard in a different way. Side effects and not enjoying food as much.
Just less having to control cravings.
I wish people would stop judging others, it's all so pointless

pure jealousy!
its sad…. Just keep making it very clear that you didn’t loose weight for anyone except yourself and be clear and firm that actually you feel 100% healthier and AM proud of your weight loss!
I think I’d actually state when they happy you should be happy no matter your size that ‘I AM PROUD…. And I’m happy with the size I am… I wish you could all just be happy for me rather than berating me for becoming healthier !!’

loosing weight is nothing to do with feminism… it’s everything to do with adding years into your life though, as well as reducing your chance of type 2 diabetes and cancers!!

Well done! Don’t let anyone make you feel bad for doing good…. And good luck keeping it off ….

Id love to know what you did as I have about 6 stone to loose!!!

Say exactly that to them! Tell them your friendship shouldn’t be based on your size! Make them realise what disgusting bullies they’re being!! In fact next time someone is being horrible I’d make a dramatic exit to the toilet and stay in a cubicle for ages… telling anyone who comes after you that you need space as are sick of being bullied for YOUR life choices!

Had something similar when I first lost weight, many years ago now. Went to Slimming world and lost not only 3 stone, but a husband as well! He started acting really oddly when I began to lose weight and we split up a few months later.

I had lots of friends at Slimming World, until I hit my target weight (and had the problem of continuing to lose weight past where I wanted to, as my body was used to it). Suddenly I didn't have friends there anymore, it was very helpful when we were all encouraging each other but they didn't want to know once I'd actually lost the weight

@lilkitten they were never friends.

sounds like envy. You must be looking good.

That's really shitty.. you'd literally achieved what you were all aiming for.

But also OP, you aren't the friend that will tuck into plateful of mashed potato, pie and cake now are you? They can't enjoy that kind of 'indulgence, sod the world, we'll eat what we like,' companionship you anymore. Because nobody can and remain healthy, especially as we get older. You have learned the benefits of changing your eating habits, however you've done it. Well done you glad you are seeing the benefits

I could eat some of that, but just a tiny amount. I’m not really interested in food anymore, in fact it’s amazing how much time we devote to planning, shopping, cooking and going out for dinner etc. It’s really nice to have extra space for other things.

Bring honest it’s very annoying when you work hard to stay slim and people then just use weight loss jabs as an easy way out. It’s worse when they fib about it and put it down to “discovering Pilates” like my friend has.

One of my work colleagues told me she'd been having injections to lose weight and, aside from me asking few questions, we went back to normal chat.
I manage weight through willpower as don't like feeling over full and get bored eating larger meals, but I know most people enjoy eating larger meals.
If your friends struggle, the green-eyed monster in them is no doubt surfacing and until they're used to seeing you slim it may not calm down.
They'll eventually get bored of fussing about it or you'll see more of your friends who like you whatever size you are?

I fear you may have their Fat Friend.

Thing is even if you have lost it using WLI - it still requires a lot of willpower and calorie controlling - it doesn’t simply make felt just melt away - it just makes you feel rather full ( and in my case rather sick a fair bit) so you don’t always fancy eating much and stops that urge to snack for many .
I suspect OP it’s just that they had you in the role of lovely fat friend ( well fatter than them) I suspect once they get over it mentally they will be fine.

@CrikeyalmightyI am sorry but you don’t need willpower with WLI as you cannot eat even if you wanted to due to the full feeling. It IS the easy way out and if someone has to work super hard ro lose weight as they cannot use WLI, it is natural for them to feel
envious. However if you have friends that prefer the fat version of you so for whatever reason they can feel
suoerior, that’s another story.